The Closest to Heaven
by MuffinLove03
Summary: "And I don't want the world to see me 'cause I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am..." Helga's spent years continuing to bully Arnold and hide her secret but when he is gravely injured one night, Helga gets a second chance to make things right. AXH, COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**[A/N: Well, I said I wasn't going to do it... I lied XD Indeed I am starting another story (though I have absolutely NO intention of abandoning Say Something. I already have part of the next chapter in progress but... well... inspiration struck me and I had to get this out...**

**So, before we begin, I wrote this all in ONE SITTING. It's also almost 2 am and I've been writing for like... 5 or 6 hours? Forgive me if there are stupid typos or what have you (also, my 'o' key is giving me hell for some reason so any missing o's... that's why). **

**I don't know if/to what to degree anyone has done a story like this before BUT I had the idea and I wanted to write it out so this is MY version of this type of thing. I'm sure there are tons of movies and TV shows that do this...**

**I'm gonna stop blabbering now and just get on with it.**

**I don't own Hey Arnold. Meh.]**

Birds sang from the treetops as tender buds on the ends of the branches symbolized the impending flourish of green. It was the end of March and most students were groaning as they trekked up the steps to Hillwood High's main entrance, dragging their feet in the futile hope that they could keep one foot still in spring break.

The air outside was getting warmer but there was still a chill that warranted a light jacket. Helga was coming from the student parking lot, stomping her way up to the building with her ever-present scowl etched on her face. Not very much had changed over the years; Helga was still the same sarcastic, sharp-tongued girl she'd always been. She was guarded and unwilling to let anyone know how sensitive she actually was or how deep the still waters of her emotions truly ran.

She noticed Arnold standing with a group of people near the front entrance, laughing, talking. His smile always had a way of warming her heart but she hid that, too. She told him how she felt many years ago in a whirlwind of raw emotion on the rooftop of FTi but when everything settled down, they'd agreed it was all "in the heat of the moment". Perhaps Arnold wasn't ready to acknowledge the fact that his almost-lifelong bully actually possessed a love for him that could pick him up like a wave and bring him crashing down to earth, sputtering and confused, dizzy and disoriented by her passion. Maybe he actually did think she didn't mean the things she said – that she loved him, wrote poetry for him… made… shrines of him? That her kiss and the dreamy way she'd gazed into his eyes had been nothing more than an adrenaline rush. Or… maybe he believed her and just wanted to let her down gently.

Helga never found out. She couldn't bear the thought of bringing up that incident and the inevitable embarrassment that would ensue. So she pocketed the memory, hiding it away and pretending it never happened though she yearned to confess to him that it was real. It had always been real and she meant every word. But hiding it was only made easier by the fact that Arnold didn't try to bring it up again either.

They went through the years as they always had – Arnold being his typical calm, patient, good-natured self and Helga stewing in a pot of her own regrets, insecurities, and defense mechanisms. They resumed the relationship they had once had, more or less. Helga continued to pick on him, teasing him and taunting him, and when she wasn't doing that she was avoiding him, condemning herself to pine alone in the quiet corners of her mind where her heart finally could break free of its cage.

"Good morning, Helga!" Phoebe called. She was standing with Gerald and Arnold as part of the group over by the entrance. Phoebe and Gerald had been dating for two years now, ever since the Homecoming dance freshman year.

"Hey Pheebs," Helga greeted her best friend with a lackluster response. She wasn't exactly a morning person.

Phoebe encouraged Helga to join their little circle and Helga rolled her eyes in response, though she didn't walk away.

"Hi Helga," Arnold said politely. "Did you have a good spring break?"

Helga scoffed. "What's it to _you_?" She said, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms.

"I was just asking," Arnold said under his breath.

"And _I _was just trying to get a few moments of peace before school without being interrogated by football-headed dweebs," She shot back.

"_Here we go_," Rhonda whispered to Nadine, both of whom were standing in the circle. Most of the kids from P.S. 118 stuck together since they'd essentially grown up together. Of course they made friends with the other students who'd gone to different grade schools but were zoned for Hillwood High but there was still an evident pattern. Helga, however, had increasingly become the "black sheep" of the group and most people were tired of her angry outbursts.

"Why do you have to be so mean all the time, Helga?" Arnold asked, getting frustrated.

"Why do you have to be such a loser all the time, _Arnoldo_?" Helga retorted in a mocking tone.

"Got-_damn, _would ya'll chill for once?" Gerald interjected, rubbing his temples.

"Pfft," Helga rolled her eyes but hushed.

"_Anyway_," Rhonda said, changing the subject. "Arnold, did you ask Lila if she'll be able to make it tonight?"

"I sent her a text this morning but she hasn't responded yet," Arnold replied, his tone much calmer than it had been moments ago. "I don't think it should be a problem, though,"

Helga shifted uncomfortably. Arnold and Lila had started dating a couple weeks ago and it made her nauseated just to think about it. She'd managed to avoid seeing them together. She realized that the schemes she carried out before didn't actually help but rather caused her to witness things that only made her blood boil and her stomach turn – seeing Arnold holding hands, hugging, and especially kissing a girl other than herself did nothing but bring her pain. She really loved him and even though she didn't have the courage to own up to it and even though she masked her insecurities and fears with a façade of anger and hostility, she still couldn't handle the torment of even seeing him with someone else and knowing that she didn't have a chance.

"I've gotta go," Helga said abruptly and broke away from the group.

"Okay, Helga, I-!" Phoebe called after her friend but she was already headed inside.

"I don't know how you do it, Phoebe," Gerald said, shaking his head.

"Do what?" She asked in her sweet, chipper voice.

Gerald jerked a thumb behind him toward the doors Helga had just gone through. "Put up with _her_,"

. . . . . . . .

"What is the _matter _with me?" Helga said in anguish as she burst through the girls' bathroom door. A freshman was checking herself out in the mirror and turned to Helga in surprise but when she was met with a glare she quickly darted out.

"_Why _must I be so cruel? _Why _can't I relinquish my hold on this mask I've carried for all these years?" Helga leaned back against one of the sinks and sighed. "Is this all there is?" She asked the empty room. "Am I doomed to live each day, pining and yearning for nothing more than a kind look to which I can only respond with a biting tongue and a cold stare, even though my heart pounds in my chest in the hope that he may understand and know the _truth_…?" Helga turned around and looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was longer and pulled into low ponytails that rested on her shoulders. "What curse is this that I must spend each day paying witness to such incongruence in my life? Why am I such a coward, hiding away behind secrets and lies…? She sighed just as the first period warning bell rang signaling to everyone they had five minutes to get to their first class.

First period history class was Helga's least favorite as she didn't really have any friends or people she knew in the class. The only people from P.S. 118 in here were Peapod Kid and Gloria, neither of whom she had any type of worthwhile relationship with. So Helga zoned out, pulling out a special purple notebook writing poems for the next hour.

. . . . . . . .

Arnold and Gerald had math together for third period right before lunch.

"Hey Gerald," Arnold whispered as they worked out problems on a handout. "Do you know if Helga is coming tonight?"

"_God, I hope not,_" Gerald muttered as he wrote then looked up. "Why?"

"I'm just wondering," Arnold shrugged. "I wasn't sure if maybe Phoebe invited her to come, too,"

"Not that I'm aware of," Gerald shook his head. "And honestly, don't you think it's _better _that way?"

"I dunno," Arnold sat his pencil down for a moment. "I mean, she's still our friend, right?"

"Ha!" Gerald guffawed. "Whatever you say, Arnold,"

Arnold just sighed and resumed his work.

"Do you need me to give you a ride tonight?" Gerald asked quietly.

"Nah, I don't think so," Arnold replied as he erased something on his worksheet. "Lila doesn't live that far from the bowling alley and I'd like to walk her home,"

"Aww, isn't that _sweet_?" Gerald teased, batting his eyelashes and clasping his hands together.

"Yeah, yeah," Arnold said with a smirk and a roll of his eyes.

"Ya know, I never thought you guys would get together again after the fourth grade," Gerald said.

"What?" Arnold turned to him. "Why?"

"Arnold, she dumped you like, 50 times and you still followed her around like a lovesick puppy. When you were done, I thought you were done, man," He replied. "Don't get me wrong – no hate, I'm just still surprised, I guess,"

Arnold shrugged. "I guess everyone gets second chances,"

. . . . . . . .

The rest of the schoolday went by uneventfully – a typical day.

Helga was stomping down the hall almost immediately after the final bell rang. The sooner she could leave, the better. But what was she going home to? A blow-hard dad who couldn't remember her name and an alcoholic mom? It seemed that no matter where she was, she was always trying to get away from something.

She wasn't paying attention when she turned the corridor and collided with a certain football-head, both of them stumbling back from the impact and barely catching themselves from falling.

"Arnold!" She yelped when she realized it was him.

"Oh, sorry, Helga," Arnold immediately apologized.

Helga shook her head, snapping herself out of her momentary daze. "Get your head out of the clouds, moron, and watch where you're walking!" She yelled in his face.

Arnold's eyes narrowed but he took a breath and reminded himself of what he wanted to ask her. "A bunch of us from the neighborhood are going bowling tonight. Do you wanna come, too?"

Helga's breath caught in her throat. Arnold was inviting her to come hang out with them? Her excitement was cut short by the quick realization that Lila would be there and that put a sour taste in her mouth. "Yeah right. What makes you think I'd want to hang out with _you_?"

Arnold let out an exasperated sigh. "I was just asking,"

"Yeah, well, next time save your breath!" Helga called as Arnold was already starting to walk away. "I'd rather let maggots eat my flesh!"

"_Fine_," Arnold called back to her without turning around.

Once he was far enough away, Helga's haughty stance deflated and she let out a sad sigh as she walked to the parking lot.

"Hey Pheebs, you wanna come over and hang out tonight?" Helga said as she caught up with Phoebe heading to her car.

"Actually, Helga," Phoebe said with some regret. "I'm afraid I already have plans tonight,"

"Oh," Helga said, pulling on her backpack's straps. "I guess you're goin' out with all those guys tonight?" She asked, referring to their group of friends from P.S. 118 – the one she didn't quite fit into anymore.

"Well, yes…" Phoebe said quietly. As far as she knew, Helga hadn't been invited and even if that wasn't the case, she wouldn't come anyway knowing Arnold would be there with Lila. It was still too fresh. "…Raincheck?"

"Sure, Pheebs," Helga said with a sigh.

. . . . . . . .

"I'm having ever so much fun!" Lila beamed as she walked back to her friends after scoring a spare and sat down next to Arnold.

"That was great, Lila!" Arnold said cheerfully and put his arm around her.

They were the quintessential "nice" couple. Lila was still as sweet and bubbly as she'd always been and Arnold had always liked that about her. For a long time Lila hadn't wanted a relationship with Arnold but a few weeks ago they'd been partners for a science project and couldn't ignore how well they got along, or the fact that they did indeed find one another attractive.

Liking Lila was simple. It fit like a worn glove.

After they played a couple games, everyone – Phoebe, Gerald, Arnold, Lila, Rhonda, Nadine, Stinky, and Harold – milled out of the bowling alley into the night. The streetlights were on and the stars were barely visible in a sky full of clouds.

Everyone said their goodbyes and went their separate ways, Gerald and Phoebe getting into Gerald's car and Arnold and Lila beginning their walk to Lila's house.

"I'm so glad we did that," Lila said, walking arm-in-arm with Arnold. It did surprise her a little bit that she'd decided to give this thing with Arnold a chance but honestly, it felt different this time. She'd never felt butterflies in her stomach when it came to Arnold, until now.

"Yeah, it was a lot of fun," Arnold said, sneaking a glance at her and smiling.

When they got to Lila's house, she climbed one step and turned around. Arnold placed a hand on the railing and smiled up at her.

"Thanks for walking me home, Arnold," Her smile stretched from ear to ear. "You're just ever so sweet,"

Arnold picked up her hand and kissed it. "Anytime,"

Lila giggled and bent down, leaving a kiss on Arnold's cheek that caused his face to flush pink.

"Goodnight, Arnold,"

Arnold grinned dopily. "Goodnight, Lila,"

He watched her go inside before turning and heading down the sidewalk. It was about a fifteen minute walk home but that didn't bother Arnold – he was used to walking around this neighborhood and enjoyed taking walks alone sometimes. It gave him the chance to think, to sort out any problems he was facing and try to come to some sort of understanding of the things going on in his life.

It was in one of these daydreams that Arnold was suddenly yanked off the sidewalk and into a dark alley. The streetlight nearby was burned out and trash cans clanged against one another as Arnold was shoved up against the side of a brick building by two guys, somewhat bigger than him.

They were both wearing jeans and dark hoodies with the hoods pulled up so Arnold couldn't get a good look at them.

"Gimme your wallet," One of them said as he held Arnold against the wall.

"Get off of me!" Arnold struggled against the guy and the other one sucker-punched Arnold in the gut, causing him to double-over.

"_Shut up!_" The first guy whispered harshly into Arnold's face, the slightest bit of spit coming out with his words. "I _said, _'_Gimme your fuckin' wallet!'_"

_"Alright, alright!" _Arnold said and the guy let him go. The two guys watched as Arnold started to go into his backpocket but without warning, Arnold turned around and kicked the first guy in the face, sending him backwards into a trashcan. He didn't have time to react before the second guy grabbed Arnold by the neck and shoved him against the wall again, the back of his head slamming into the brick.

Arnold was dizzy from the impact and he was immediately overwhelmed by a splitting headache. His vision was hazy and he didn't notice the guy he kicked was getting up. Nor did he notice the flash of metal that he had pulled from his pocket.

. . . . . . . .

It was about midnight and Gerald was wondering why he hadn't heard from Arnold yet. He'd texted him a couple hours ago asking how his walk with Lila went but with no response. He tried to call him twice and both times the phone rang and rang until it went to voicemail.

Finally Gerald decided to text Lila and ask if Arnold was still with her.

**_No, I'm afraid he isn't. Is everything ok?_**

**_I dunno. I haven't been able to get ahold of him._**

A few minutes later Lila replied.

**_I just tried to call him but he didn't pick up. Do you think we should be worried?_**

**_Nah, I'm sure he's fine. Thanks, Lila._**

. . . . . . . .

Grandpa was just coming out of the bathroom when he heard some noise coming from upstairs. As he walked closer and closer he realized it was coming from Arnold's room.

"What the halibut could that be?" He muttered to himself as he ascended Arnold's staircase and poked his head inside. As far as he knew, Arnold was still out with his friends.

The sound was coming from Arnold's desk where his phone had been left since that morning before school. Grandpa picked up the phone and read the screen: 6 missed calls and 4 texts.

"These kids and their newfangled technology, can't even keep it with 'em," Grandpa said under his breath as he fumbled with the phone. Suddenly, it started ringing again with the name "GERALD" at the top of the screen and Grandpa pushed a button labeled 'Talk'.

"Hello?"

"Grandpa? Where's Arnold?" Gerald said on the other line.

"He's – hey, I'm not your grandpa!"

"Is Arnold home?"

"No, I thought he was out with you guys," Grandpa scratched his head.

"He was, like, almost three hours ago," Gerald said. "He didn't come home yet? Why's his phone there?"

"Guess he forgot it this morning," Grandpa said. "So, wait a minute, you don't know where he is?"

"No, I've been trying to get ahold of him for hours,"

Grandpa furrowed his brow. "That's not like him,"

"I know," Gerald said. "He walked Lila home and she hasn't heard from him since then either,"

"Alright, Gerald. I'm gonna see if I can find him," Grandpa said and they hung up.

Grandpa slipped Arnold's phone into his pocket and went downstairs, poking his head into the kitchen where Grandma was cutting up watermelon. "Pookie, I'm goin' out to find Arnold,"

"Don't be late for supper!" Grandma called in a sing-song voice.

Grandpa climbed into the Packard and started driving around. He didn't remember where Lila lived – perhaps he should've asked Gerald about that. The streets were quiet and dark and Grandpa rolled his windows down to get a better view of everything as he passed.

He'd gone a few blocks when he noticed a dark shadow move in an alleyway. Something didn't feel right and Grandpa's intuition told him to pull over. He couldn't see very well as the streetlight was out but once he got close enough, he heard raspy breathing and saw locks of blonde hair.

"_Arnold!_" Grandpa said, suddenly gripped with fear as he hurried over to his grandson. He was lying in the alley between two trashcans, his shirt covered in blood and his eye swollen and bruised. "Arnold, what happened?" His voice trembled and he got down on his knees where he could get a better look.

Arnold was gasping for air and his skin was cool and clammy, his eyes staring into nothing. "_So… dizzy_," Arnold said, his chest rising and falling with rapid, shallow breaths.

Grandpa pulled out Arnold's phone and dialed 9-1-1. "Hello? I think my grandson's been attacked," Grandpa said into the phone when the operator picked up. "He's covered in blood and having trouble breathing… We're in the alley between 43rd and Main Street… Okay, thank you,"

Grandpa hung up the phone and tears brimmed in his eyes as he watched Arnold struggle to breathe. With each gasp, the blood stain on Arnold's shirt and the puddle right under him widened.

What was only a few minutes seemed like an hour before the ambulance arrived. The paramedics jumped out with a stretcher in tow, rushing over to Arnold's side. Grandpa quickly scrambled to get out of the way, holding a hand to his mouth as he watched the paramedics swarm around Arnold.

"He's in shock, we gotta get him to the hospital," One of them said.

Another listened to his breathing, "Right lung's collapsed," She said and assisted with carefully lifting Arnold onto the stretcher. As they carried Arnold back to the ambulance, another paramedic addressed Grandpa.

"Are you family? You can ride along," He said and Grandpa quickly followed after them. Inside the ambulance, they hooked Arnold up to a vitals monitor and put an oxygen mask over his mouth while one of the paramedics kept pressure on his wound to try and slow the bleeding. Arnold's eyelids were slowly falling until he was no longer conscious and Grandpa picked up Arnold's hand, holding it firmly as they made their way to the hospital.

"Pressure's dropping," The paramedic holding Arnold's wound said, looking at the monitor. "O2 stats are falling, too,"

Grandpa watched in horror as the paramedics continued to work on Arnold to slow his decline. He was speechless and tears slid down his face as he watched them fight to get Arnold's vitals back up.

Suddenly, a long, steady beep rang out from the monitor and Grandpa looked up to see an ominous flat line stretched across the screen.

. . . . . . . .

Helga's hand groped around her end table trying to find her phone. It was almost 2 am and her phone ringing had stirred her from sleep. She looked at the screen before she answered.

"Phoebe, it's 2 in the freaking morning," She said, her eyes still closed but they shot open when she realized Phoebe was crying. "Hey, hey… what's going on?"

Phoebe took a deep breath but her voice still shook. "Come outside,"

"What, why?" Helga said, sitting up in bed.

"Please," Phoebe said, her voice turning to a soft whimper. "Just do it,"

Helga jumped out of bed, clad in sweats and a tank top, her hair wild and all over the place. She thundered down the steps and opened the front door to see Phoebe sitting on the steps of her stoop and Gerald leaning against the cement "railing". Gerald's car was parked in front of her house but the lights were still on and the engine was running.

Helga took one look at Phoebe's shoulders shaking and the tear stains on Gerald's face and a panic immediately set in. "What happened?" She asked, any attempt at putting up some sort of front in front of Gerald having gone completely out the window.

"Something... terrible has happened," Phoebe said, standing up and wiping her eyes beneath her glasses. "Arnold's been hurt,"

"_What?_" Helga asked, her eyes wide with shock. "Is he okay?"

Phoebe looked up at her best friend, her lips trembling and could only shake her head. Helga looked at Gerald who was just looking at the pavement in front of him, his eyes fixed and his face broken.

"What happened?" Helga asked, fighting harder than she'd ever fought before to keep her voice even. She probably sounded like a robot.

"He was attacked," Gerald said bluntly, taking a deep breath and wiping at his eye with the knuckle of his thumb.

"Well, what are we standing here for?" Helga exclaimed. "We should be going to the hospital!"

At this, Phoebe's eyes watered again and she shook her head, then pulled Helga into a hug. "H-he's gone," Her voice came out as a whisper and all of a sudden, Helga felt like she was going to turn to liquid and slip away right there. Her knees weakened and her face blanched. She pulled away to look Phoebe in the eyes as her own started to fill with tears. She blinked them away furiously.

"Don't _screw _with me, Phoebe," She said in a harsh, low tone, her voice breaking. Looking Phoebe in the eyes, she knew she was telling the truth.

. . . . . . . .

The days leading up to Arnold's funeral felt like a blur. The whole school was in mourning and the school counselors had invited any students seeking counsel to visit with them. Helga missed the first couple days after it happened, locked in her bedroom and doing nothing but crying into her pillow. She didn't have words. She couldn't write, couldn't eat, and her sleep was restless and broken, falling asleep in segments interrupted by relentless grief.

. . . . . . . .

Arnold's funeral was set for Sunday in the afternoon. They'd arranged two viewings earlier in the day, separated by an hour, so that as many people as wanted to come would have the opportunity to do so. The second viewing was to be followed by the funeral.

That morning, dozens upon dozens of people flocked to the funeral home. Arnold had touched so many lives in his own short life and just about the entire neighborhood had shown up to mourn and pay their respects.

The room was large with plenty of space for everyone who'd come. There were chairs and couches all around and there were a multitude of bouquets and stands with elaborate flower arrangements all around the room. Grandma and Grandpa, along with the boarders, had put together picture collages and a couple of them were stationed toward the back of the room. A video picture collage played on a TV screen that hung from the wall and a sad compilation of songs about loss accompanied it.

Up at the front of the room was the casket. It was half-open with a large bouquet sitting on the bottom half. People were continually cycling up to say their good-byes to Arnold.

Lila, Gerald, Phoebe and Rhonda stood together towards the back of the room having casual conversation, exchanging stories and reveling in memories of their shared childhoods.

"I wonder where Helga is," Phoebe wondered aloud. "She said she was coming," She pulled out a tissue she'd been using that day to wipe away her remaining tears. Everyone was going through cycles of being calm and crying.

"I'm glad she isn't here," Rhonda muttered, crossing her arms.

"Yeah, she didn't even like Arnold," Gerald grumbled, his brow furrowed.

Phoebe kept her mouth shut, honoring her best friend's secret despite their incorrect interpretations of her.

Meanwhile, Helga was in the bathroom at the funeral home, hiding in a stall and hunched over, crying into her lap. Her shoulders shaking and her voice inaudible as her bright blonde hair fell down around her. She didn't move from that spot until she heard the sound of people outside and the gradual fading away of their voices. She sat up, wiping her face and smoothing her hair, then cautiously exited the stall and poked her head out into the hallway. There were a couple people up by the front doors but just about everyone had cleared out until the second viewing. It was close to noon so they were probably going to get lunch.

Helga breathed in deep and swallowed the lump in her throat as she slowly walked down the hallway and into the room where Arnold's casket lay. The emptiness of the room coupled with the soft song playing from the speakers near the TV haunted her.

_Spend all your time waiting,  
for that second chance,  
for a break that would make it okay._

Helga caught a glimpse of one of the picture collages set up near a couch and she had to tear her eyes away. That was enough to make her feel like a wave was crashing down on her.

_There's always some reason  
to feel not good enough,  
and it's hard at the end of the day._

Helga breathed in deeply, exhaling from her mouth, and slowly began to walk around the room, never letting her gaze turn fully toward the casket in the front of the room. She studied the flowers and the messages attached to them. "Beloved Friend", "Cherished Grandson"…

_I need some distraction,  
Oh, beautiful release,  
Memories seep from my veins.  
Let me be empty,  
and weightless and maybe  
I'll find some peace tonight._

Helga willed herself to look at some of the pictures of Arnold that were arranged around the room. Most were current but there were quite a few from their childhood years. She approached one stand that had a lot of pictures from when they were kids and her heart sank into her stomach when she caught sight of one in particular.

A three year old Arnold stood in the foyer of the boarding house, the front door behind him, wearing a yellow raincoat and boots. There was an umbrella leaning against the doorframe behind him and Arnold was holding a sign that one of his grandparents had cleared written for him, a huge smile on his face.

"My 1st day of Preschool!  
My name is Arnold and when I grow up I want to be a DOCTOR!"

_In the arms of the angel,  
fly away from here,  
from this dark, cold hotel room  
and the endlessness that you fear._

_You are pulled from the wreckage  
of your silent reverie.  
You're in the arms of the angel,  
may you find some comfort here._

Tears flooded Helga's eyes and her chest hurt from the pressure of trying to keep herself contained. She looked over at the casket, closed her eyes and took a breath before slowly approaching.

It was strange how she knew it was him, and it sort of looked like him, but at the same time didn't quite look like him. His skin was pale and looked fake, his eyes were closed, and someone had combed down his normally tousled blonde hair. His eye was still swollen from where he'd been hit but he was covered in make-up in an attempt to hide the discoloration. His hands were folded on top of one another and he was dressed in a nice black suit.

Helga felt a hard lump sink back down into her stomach and she didn't know whether she wanted to burst into hysterics or throw up. She crept towards the casket until she was right next to it, her tears flooding her eyes and dripping down her face and neck.

_So tired of the straight line  
and everywhere you turn  
theres vultures and thieves at your back._

Suddenly overcome, Helga dragged in a haggard breath and in its release came an onslaught of tears. Her shoulders heaved and she crossed her arms on the edge of the casket, burying her face in them.

_And the storm keeps on twisting,  
you keep on building the lies,  
that you make up for all that you lack._

"I-I'm so sorry, Arnold," Helga sobbed into her arms. "I'm _so sorry,_"

_It don't make no difference,  
escaping one last time.  
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness,  
oh, this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees._

"I should have never taken it back," Helga said softly, lifting her head and looking down at her beloved, his face blank yet peaceful.

_In the arms of the angel,  
fly away from here._

"_I-I love you…" _Helga's voice came out as barely a whisper. "I've always loved you…"

_From this dark cold hotel room,  
and the endlessness that you fear._

"I never meant any of those mean or hurtful things I said," Helga said, her eyes blurring with tears. "Not one of them. Y-you're…" Her voice fell to a whisper again. "You're the most amazing person I've ever known…"

_You are pulled from the wreckage  
of your silent reverie._

"I love you," Helga repeated again, her breathing punctuated by sobs and her voice rising in pitch until no sound came out. "I _love _you…"

_You're in the arms of the angel,  
may you find some comfort here._

Phoebe and Gerald hadn't left for lunch yet and were walking down the hall when they heard someone crying. Phoebe gestured for Gerald to keep quiet and they peered around the wall into the viewing room to see Helga at Arnold's casket. Her knees were weak and her legs shook with her weight; if she hadn't been leaning against the side of the casket, she looked like she could have fallen. Her shoulders heaved and shook and her cry was hard and painful.

Phoebe took a deep breath and turned around to face Gerald who was clearly surprised at the intensity of Helga's emotions. Phoebe jerked her head toward the door, suggesting they should go.

_You're in the arms of the angel…_

Helga reached a hand out and gingerly laid it atop Arnold's cold hand, eliciting even more sobbing.

_…may you find some comfort here._

. . . . . . . .

Helga stuck around for the second viewing and the funeral but generally kept to herself, back and away from the crowd. She spent the rest of the day in her bedroom listening to songs about loss and falling in and out of tormented sleep.

By nightfall she was exhausted and felt hollow, as if she could fall inside herself and spiral down into a black abyss forever. The sky was clear and she lay in her bed, cuddling her tear-soaked pillow and looking out at the moon and stars.

"I love him," She murmured to herself. "I wish I could take it all back. All the lies and the masks and the hateful things I've said," She blinked away a single tear that slid down her face. "I wish he _knew _how much I loved him… _If only I had a chance…" _Her voice began to break and she buried her face in her pillow again, hoping for some restful sleep.

. . . . . . . .

Helga awoke the next morning feeling like her heart had been replaced by stone – she felt heavy, weighed down, and cold. She didn't have the energy to cry or to eat or think or do much of anything really, but she forced herself to get up and get ready for school. She'd already missed too much time and even if she was a listless log in each of her classes, at least she'd be there to take her assignments home and _think _about doing them. Besides, she'd survived Thursday and Friday at school last week.

She crawled out of bed and opened her laptop, turning on the same playlist she'd been playing the night before, then went into her closet to find something to wear. Unimpressed with the selection, she went searching through her dresser for options instead.

_I wake up in the morning and I wonder,  
Why everything's the same as it was.  
I can't understand, no, I can't understand  
How life goes on the way it does…_

She pulled out a pair of sweatpants and an oversized T-shirt she'd gotten a couple years ago for donating blood. Upon realizing the dark irony in that shirt choice, she tossed it aside and pulled out a plain, pink tee.

_Why does my heart go on beating?  
Why do these eyes of mine cry?_

Helga's phone began to buzz from the end table by her bed and she sighed, carrying her clothes to the bed to answer the phone then get dressed.

_Don't they know it's the end of the world?  
It ended when you said goodbye._

"Hello?" Helga answered.

"Helga!" Phoebe's voice was hyped up and she sounded… relieved? "I'm so glad you answered,"

"Umm… yeah…" Helga said, sitting down on her bed and picking up the pink tee, setting it in her lap. "What is it?"

"My car broke down! I was running to the library to return a book in the overnight bin because it was due yesterday and somehow I forgot about it, probably because it was a fascinating, in-depth discussion of mitochondrial DNA inheritance…" Phoebe spoke quickly and Helga was having a hard time keeping up. "…but then I was on my way to school and I was early so I stopped at the donut shop to get something for myself and Gerald and I came out and now the car won't start! I don't know what's wrong!" She finished, breathless. "My father is going to be so upset. It's technically _his _car and the only one we have right now,"

Helga shook her head, squinting her eyes. "Wait, wait, Phoebe you _just _got that car fixed a few weeks ago. What the heck are you doing to that thing?"

Phoebe paused. "What are you talking about, Helga? I've never had anything like this happen before… but regardless, can you pick me up? Please, I can't be late for school!"

Helga shrugged_. _"Yeah, sure, whatever… I'll come get you…"

"Oh, thank you! Thank you!"

Helga ended the call and finished getting herself dressed and ready for school. Once she was as presentable as she was going to get, she grabbed her house keys and the key to Big Bob's car, and plucked her phone up from where she'd left it lying on her bed.

School started at 7:45 am and Helga pushed a button on her phone to wake it up so she could check the time before she left. What she noticed, however, was that the date on her phone read March _2nd_, rather than March 30th as it should have been.

**[A/N: The songs in this chapter were "Angel" by Sarah McLachlan and the last few parts of "The End of the World" by Skeeter Davis.**

**Holy cow this chapter is insanely long. Let me know if you guys dig this idea and want me to continue it and what not. Also, if I made you cry, don't feel bad because I almost started crying myself and I wrote the dang thing!**

**I hope to hear from you guys soon. Some feedback would be awesome and much appreciated! I WANNA KNOW THE INNER WORKINGS OF YO MINDS...**

**Okay, sleep time. Goodnight ^_^]**


	2. Chapter 2

**[A/N: I am so sorry this has taken so long! And gah, I haven't even updated Say Something yet (though that update is partially written). I've been super busy with school and a whole bunch of other things. I'm really looking forward to break so that I can do more writing! Hopefully this chapter makes up for the wait! I've got some cool ideas and I'm excited to work them out - I just need time! Thanks for being patient, guys, and thanks for all the reviews! I'm glad you're all into this concept! I'm super pumped to see your reactions to where this goes (I already know how it's gonna end and oh boyyy I can't wait hehe XD)**

**I don't own Hey Arnold!]**

**_March 2_****_nd_****_: PAST_**

_Helga lazily rolled out of bed just as she did every morning after she'd already hit Snooze on her alarm clock twice. With her hair disheveled from sleep and her eyes bleary, she trudged over to her dresser for a set of clothes for the day._

_A small snowstorm at the beginning of the weekend had left some snow and ice still scattered around outside and Helga was counting down the days until she could no longer see her breath when she went out. Phoebe was waiting for her at the donut shop because something was wrong with her car and she needed a ride to school. Big Bob had bought himself a new car that he drove to work in the morning, alternating with the Hummer, so Helga was able to use the old blue sedan. Big Bob called it "killing two birds with one stone" because that meant Helga could also run the errands when Miriam was too inebriated._

_Helga pulled on a pair of jeans and slipped into a long sleeved black shirt that she then layered with a big white T-shirt she'd gotten when she donated blood a while back. She put on a big blue pull-over hoodie, grabbed her belongings and headed out. _

_The air was cold and the snow was already melting pretty fast, though some ice patches remained on the sidewalks and the mounds of snow left behind by snowplows and people who'd shoveled their walks were still scattered around the curbs._

_Helga climbed into the front seat of Big Bob's car, started the engine and took off in the direction of the donut shop. Once she arrived, she parked a couple spaces away from Phoebe and got out of the car. Phoebe was in the front seat, still trying to get the car to start and looking more and more frustrated by the minute. Helga tapped on the glass and Phoebe looked up, sighed, and opened the door._

_"Hey," Helga said. "So, what's going on?" She crossed her arms and looked the car over, not that that really could tell her anything._

_"Ugh," Phoebe gripped the steering wheel a little tighter and sighed. "I don't know…"_

_"Do you need a jump?" Helga asked. "Is the battery dead or something?"_

_"It shouldn't be!" Phoebe whined, obviously at the threshold for her frustration at this point. "It was working fine just a little while ago. I didn't leave the lights on, or the engine, or anything…" She sighed. _

_A crisp wind blew past them and Helga pulled her hood up over her head to block it out. "We should go. It's cold as hell and if there isn't anything we can do right now then there's no point in being here," She said coarsely. "Just get your boyfriend to look at it after school," Helga added, rolling her eyes and starting to walk back to her car._

_Phoebe got out of the driver's seat and started to grab her backpack and the bag of donuts. "I suppose you're right. I'll have Gerald bring me back over here after school. Maybe he'll know what I should do,"_

_"Wait, you need something white to put in the window," Helga stopped and turned around. "To let people know you're comin' back for the car later,"_

_"Oh, okay," Phoebe said and looked down at her clothes. "But I'm afraid I don't have anything white with me today,"_

_"I got it," Helga said, pulling her hoodie up and over her head, the chill in the air prickling her skin. "Cold, cold, cold, cold, cold…" She muttered to herself as she removed her white T-shirt and quickly pulled the hoodie back on, relaxing a little bit now that she wasn't freezing. Phoebe wound the driver's window down a little bit and Helga secured her shirt inbetween the window and the frame before Phoebe locked up her dad's car and they got in Bob's car._

_Helga shivered in the driver's seat and turned up the heat before they pulled off. The radio came back on as soon as Helga started the car and they headed to school with music playing in the background._

And all I can taste is this moment,  
And all I can breathe is your life.  
When sooner or later it's over,  
I just don't wanna miss you tonight.

_"I'm so looking forward to visiting my mother's family this upcoming spring break," Phoebe said when they were halfway to the school._

_"Pfft," Helga scoffed as they turned. "Big whoop. Like I need more time stuck in the house with Bob and Miriam…"_

And I don't want the world to see me,  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.  
When everything's made to be broken,  
I just want you to know who I am.

_"I'm sure it won't be that bad, Helga," Phoebe tried to encourage her friend. "Perhaps you could make some plans of your own," Suddenly struck with an idea, Phoebe gasped. "Oh! You could come to the beach with me and my family?"_

_"Ehh," Helga shrugged. "I dunno. We'll see," She said as they neared the school._

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming,  
Or the moment of truth in your lies.  
When everything feels like the movies,  
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive.

_Once they got to the school, Helga parked in the student parking lot. There were still several mounds of snow piled up along the edges of the lot and a patches of ice of varying sizes primarily in the spaces between the cars. Helga stepped out of the car cautiously so as to avoid slipping and embarrassing herself. _

_Over on the other side of the lot, Arnold had parked his Grandpa's Packard and was now walking toward the main building in a comfortable dark green hoodie and matching beanie. _

No doubt that little blue hat of his is still under the cap. _Helga thought to herself as she watched him walk past the rows of cars, including her own, without even a look in her direction. With a mischievous grin, Helga gathered up a ball of snow from the mound near the front of the car and chucked it at Arnold, perfectly hitting him in the middle of his back._

_Arnold turned around. "Hey, who did that?"_

_Helga started to crack up and Arnold glared at her. "What are you looking at, Football-head? Get to class, go read a book or somethin'! Criminy, do you want to take a fucking picture?"_

_Arnold narrowed his eyes and shook his head but continued on his way to the main entrance._

_Phoebe had already gathered her things and was ready and waiting to go. Helga's face fell once Arnold was gone and she wordlessly grabbed her backpack and locked up the car. "Ready?"_

_Phoebe nodded and the two of them headed toward the school. Gerald was talking to Sid, Rhonda, and Harold just inside the main doors. It was still too cold out to hang outside. Phoebe headed toward the four of them and Helga reluctantly followed, her defensive and ever-present scowl on to ward off anyone who got too close._

_It was awkward hanging around those guys since Helga knew they didn't like her very much and how could she blame them, honestly? It's not like she treated them well. The only person she was consistently nice to was Phoebe and even that relationship had its blemishes. That's why the first period bell ringing came as a relief. Anything to escape the awkwardness of hanging around a bunch of people who didn't want you there. _

_Helga got to class just as the last few people were entering the room. Arnold was already in his seat working on something but she barely had the time to wonder what it was. Class would be starting any minute. She plopped down in her seat and watched as their science teacher, Mr. Hines, entered the room. Coffee cup in one hand, the other steadying his messenger bag._

_"Alright, alright," He said, sipping coffee from his take-out cup and setting it down on the table in the front of the room. "Settle down. First things first. I know it's a little short notice but I have no doubt you'll all be able to get it done before spring break. We're gonna divide up into partners and devise an experiment related to pH. You have free range to develop your own hypothesis and experiment design but run it by me first. Keep it simple. Remember, you should be able to complete this experiment and the report for it by next week. So, go ahead and pick your partners and then we'll get started on today's objectives,"_

_Helga sunk down into her seat. She hated stuff like this, especially when it happened in classes she didn't share with Phoebe. There really wasn't anyone else that she wanted to work with, aside from Arnold, and most people didn't want to work with her either. She'd cultivated a reputation for biting people's heads off, or worse, and most people avoided her when they could. _

_As everyone bustled around her, Helga sat with her brow furrowed and her arms crossed over her chest. Why couldn't Mr. Hines just assign partners so as to avoid this whole awkward 'asking' part? Helga tentatively looked around and caught sight of Lila over by Arnold's seat. She was smiling at him and he looked pleasant as he nodded at her. Lila clasped her hands together in excitement and then gently touched Arnold's forearm as she said something. Arnold smiled and Lila went back to her seat, cheery and sickeningly sweet as ever. Meanwhile, Helga growled but couldn't help feeling some anger toward herself. If she wasn't such a coward she could've asked Arnold to work with her. It's not like they'd never worked on projects before. They were actually a pretty good team when they got past their tendency to argue. _

_Everyone else was pretty much paired up when Helga heard heavy breathing behind her._

_She rolled her eyes and her hands rolled up into fists, already knowing who it was._

_"Uhh," Brainy said, pushing up his glasses. Over the years Brainy had started to talk more but he was still just as dorky and, to Helga at least, as infuriating as ever. "Are you a carbon sample?" He wheezed. "Because I want to date you," He chuckled to himself which turned into more wheezing._

_Completely irritated, not only at Brainy's presence, but also at the interaction between Lila and Arnold, Helga wheeled around and punched Brainy square in the nose which caused his nose to start bleeding._

_"Pataki!" Mr. Hines called out. "You're going to the office, NOW,"_

_Helga groaned and stood up, gathering her books and stuffing them into her backpack._

_"Starting off on a good foot this morning, aren't we?" Mr. Hines said sarcastically as he handed Helga her referral slip and she headed out the door to the office. _

_. . . . . . . ._

**March 2****nd****: PRESENT**

_This is freaking weird. _Helga thought to herself, though she still chalked up the date change on her phone to being a glitch and Phoebe's car trouble to being a coincidence.

Outside the air was chillier than it had been the day prior and Helga ran back in the house to put on a warmer hoodie. There were mounds of snow on the ground that looked a few days old and a few receding patches of ice creeping along the edges of the sidewalk.

_What the hell? _Helga furrowed her brow, looking around as she made her way to the car. Sure it wasn't summer weather yesterday but where did this _snow _come from? Helga also didn't appreciate the drastic temperature drop but that was the least of her concerns at this point.

Her heart still heavy with grief, Helga fell into the front seat of her father's car in a huff, lazily turning on the engine and making her way to the donut shop a couple blocks away. Helga took Big Bob's old car to and from school since he'd gotten himself a new car recently.

When Helga pulled into the donut shop parking lot, Phoebe was in the front seat of her father's car, an exasperated look on her face as she was trying to figure out what was wrong. Helga parked two spaces away and got out of the car. She walked over to the open driver's side door of Phoebe's dad's car.

"Hey," She greeted Phoebe in a gloomy, monotonous voice, nodding her head toward the car. "What's wrong with it?"

"Ugh," Phoebe gripped the steering wheel a little tighter then sighed. "I don't know…"

"Wasn't there something wrong with the motor or starter or something like that last time?" Helga asked, leaning up against the side of the car and pulling the hood of her dark blue hoodie over her head, blonde hair messily falling through the opening and past her chin.

Suddenly Helga had a peculiar feeling. This all seemed familiar. The fact that they were in the donut shop parking lot, Phoebe's mannerisms, even what she was wearing seemed to jog a memory. Still, Helga shook it off.

"Helga, I don't know what you're talking about," Phoebe shook her head, climbing out of the front seat. "But we should probably go. I'll have Gerald bring me back over here after school. Maybe he'll know what I should do,"

Helga shrugged. "Suit yourself,"

Phoebe grabbed the little bag of donuts she'd purchased for her and Gerald as well as her backpack and shut the car door.

"Wait," Helga said. "You forgot the white thing," She mumbled as she looked around trying to find something.

"The white thing?"

Helga deadpanned. "You're supposed to put something white in the window to let people know you're coming back for the car,"

Phoebe looked down at her clothes. "I'm afraid I don't have anything white with me today,"

Helga put her hand to her face, tapping her chin with one finger. "Well, actually, you're probably fine. It's not like the car's parked on the side of the road or something. Let's just go,"

Helga and Phoebe got back into Big Bob's car and Helga drove them to school, all the while thinking about the strange sense of de ja vu she was having. She could have sworn Phoebe had needed her starter replaced or something like that a few weeks ago.

"I'm so looking forward to visiting my mother's family this upcoming spring break," Phoebe said when they were halfway to the school.

Helga raised an eyebrow. "Phoebe…" She said cautiously. "Umm… what day is it?"

Phoebe turned and looked at her curiously. "It's the 2nd of March, Helga," She smiled. "Spring break is only two weeks away!"

Helga's eyes bugged out and she felt her pulse quickening. _This can't be real. This is freaking ludicrous! _

"Helga, are you okay?" Phoebe interrupted Helga's panic. "Your knuckles are turning white,"

Helga looked down at her hands, gripping the steering wheel tightly and sure enough the skin of her knuckles was turning white from the tension. "Y-yeah, I'm fine, uh, Pheebs…" Helga shook her head a bit trying to compose herself. "Let's turn on the radio; it's too quiet,"

"Okay, Helga," Phoebe said, watching as Helga turned the volume on.

_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming,  
Or the moment of truth in your lies.  
When everything feels like the movies,  
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive._

Helga sighed, finally starting to calm down as they approached the school. Phoebe was chattering about upcoming assignments – assignments Helga _knew _she'd already turned in _and _had gotten A's on – which only caused Helga's breakdown to steadily gain momentum. Still, what the hell? None of this made sense. Yesterday they were at Arnold's _funeral. _That _happened. _Didn't it? How could Phoebe be so damn… chipper…?

As they pulled off the main road and into the student parking lot, dozens of other students were leaving their cars and heading up the hill toward the main entrance of the school. Helga searched for an open space and as she neared the edge of the lot, a familiar shape caught her eye. Walking across the parking lot in a dark green hoodie and a matching beanie stretched over his football-shaped head was Arnold.

"_What the fu—" _Helga's eyes bulged and her breath hitched as she watched him, his hands in his pockets, as he trekked across the snow and ice laden parking lot.

"Helga, watch out!" Phoebe cried and Helga turned back around just as they jumped the curb and ran into a sign marked 'Student Parking Only'.

They hadn't been going terribly fast so that was a plus but judging by the way that sign was now bending backwards, Helga wasn't going to be able to pretend this didn't happen. "Ughhhh…" She groaned and let her forehead fall atop the steering wheel.

"Helga, what happened?!" Phoebe exclaimed. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah," Helga shook her head, furrowing her eyebrows and turning around to see if Arnold was still in sight. "I-I'm okay, I just…"

"You don't seem like yourself today, Helga," Phoebe tilted her head with concern.

"I don't _feel _like myself," Helga muttered. "Ugh, Bob's gonna flip his shit," She grumbled as she clambered out of her car and went around to the front to survey the damage. The front bumper had a bit of a dent in the spot where it'd hit the sign and a layer of plastic under the bumper was now torn up and hanging from the curb. Several other students in the parking lot had stopped what they were doing to look over when the car hit the sign but with the realization that nothing more significant was happening, most continued on their way.

"Shit," Helga growled and angrily threw her driver's side door shut just as a voice came from behind the car next to them.

"Hey Helga, Phoebe, are you guys okay?" Arnold approached them, his backpack hanging off one shoulder and a thin frost on his breath when he spoke.

Helga jumped at the sound of his voice and nearly slipped on a patch of ice next to the car. Arnold instinctively moved as though to try and rush to catch her but she caught herself with the car door handle. "A-Arnold!?" The emotional rollercoaster she'd been on the past week was more than Helga could handle and she felt tears brimming the corners of her eyes.

Arnold raised an eyebrow and he and Phoebe exchanged looks, both of them turning back to give Helga a quizzical expression. "Yeah," He said. "Are you hurt?"

What bizarre world was this? Helga guffawed. "Am _I _hurt?" She walked over to Arnold, eyeing him with a mixture of curiosity, suspicion and apprehension. _This can't be… this doesn't make any sense… _Helga squinted her eyes as Arnold became more wary.

"Umm… yeah?" Arnold said, subtly taking a small step back. "Did you hurt yourself?"

Suddenly, Helga snapped out of her thoughts only to stammer like an idiot. "What? What, no. I mean, yeah. I mean, I'm fine… Uhh, foot—Arn – umm… yes. I am… okay," She took in a deep breath. _Steady girl, don't lose it. _

"Okay, good," Arnold nodded, never taking his eyes off of Helga. "I'll see you in class," He said as he started to turn around.

"Arnold, wait!" Helga cried a little too desperately and even Phoebe was taken aback.

"Yeah?" Arnold turned around. _Wait, did she just call me 'Arnold'?_

"Umm…" Helga stammered. She wanted to say something but what did you say to someone you loved, who didn't know that you loved them because you spent your life making them miserable up until they died and it was too late to do anything about it?! If there was ever a time that Helga felt like a basketcase, this was it. "It's… it's good to see… I mean, it's a great… have a good day?"

Though still perplexed by Helga's bizarre behavior, Arnold's mouth turned up in a small smile. "Thanks Helga. You, too. See ya later, Phoebe!"

Phoebe gave a small wave, then turned to Helga when Arnold was out of sight and earshot. "Um, Helga, what on earth just happened?!"

Helga startled which only alarmed Phoebe more. "What? Nothing. You mean me? I'm fine. I mean," Helga cleared her throat and spoke in a calmer tone. "What do you mean?"

Phoebe squinted her eyes but shook her head a little bit. "You're acting quite strange, Helga. I'm worried,"

"Don't worry about me," Helga waved her off. "I'm just… uhh… having a weird day, okay?"

Phoebe wasn't convinced but she gave in. "If you say so, Helga," She adjusted her backpack on her back and the two of them started walking up to the building.

There was some time before first period and Helga rushed off to the bathroom. She needed a moment to collect her thoughts after everything that had transpired in the few short hours she'd been awake today. Phoebe met up with Gerald who was hanging out just inside the main doors with their usual crew before the first period bell.

Helga paced back and forth across the dull pink and white tiles of the girls' bathroom. The cork to her emotional bottle had popped off and she'd started crying as soon as she got into the bathroom. Thankfully no one else was in there at the moment. She was trying to keep herself together but how could she? That was _Arnold. _He was _alive _and he'd spoken to her. What could be happening? She felt like she was losing her mind and she finally pulled her hood down off of her head, the radiator heat having begun to make her feel too hot. Helga ran her hands through her hair, pulling on the locks a bit in confusion and frustration. She'd just said good-bye to Arnold for what she'd thought was forever and now all of a sudden he's walking around as if nothing happened?

And Phoebe, how could Phoebe be acting so normal? And what was the deal with her car anyway? It was all feeling way too weird and Helga felt like her head was spinning. Nothing made sense anymore. Until suddenly something clicked. Maybe her phone's date change wasn't a coincidence. Maybe… maybe she was crazy, but could it be possible she was getting another chance? If so, she wasn't gonna screw this up. Even if she went to bed that night only to awaken and find that it was all a dream and Arnold was still dead, she had to make it worth it.

She was still speculative, but she took a few deep breaths, trying to wrap her mind around it all. She'd begged and cried, wishing for a second chance, wishing that she could have at least told Arnold how she felt. Maybe this was it…

Helga took one last deep breath, exhaling slowly and looking into the mirror. She looked haggard, probably from crying all night. Her hair was disheveled from the lack of attention this morning and the friction from her hood. She ran her fingers through her blonde mane to try and untangle some of the knots and left the bathroom, determined to not only get a better understanding of what was going on but also to not mess this up. If this was really a second chance at telling Arnold how she felt, she was going to take it.

There was still fifteen minutes left on the clock before the first period bell rang but Helga didn't have anything better to do so she walked down the hallway toward her first class – science.

_Wait a minute… _Helga thought, her heart skipping a beat with the realization. _If this is a second chance to tell Arnold how I feel… does that mean he's gonna die again? I don't know if I can handle that. _

Helga felt her stomach flip and tears threatened to fill her already weary eyes. _No, get it together. No one has any idea anything bad happened. No one knows why you'd be crying. Heck, as far as anyone knows this is a normal day and they're expecting Helga G. Pataki, not a blubbering buffoon. Oh man, how am I gonna do this? I can't treat Arnold the way I always have… not if he's gonna… okay, Helga ol' girl, this is gonna take some skill but you can do this…_

Then another thought crossed Helga's mind and she groaned. _Oh god, I think this is the day we got our science partners… okay, I've just gotta keep Lila away from Arnold when Mr. Hines tells us to pair up. That's simple, right? Then he and Lila won't hang out and ugh, start dating. _Helga's heartbeat began to quicken and her hands trembled with nervousness.

Helga stopped outside the door to her classroom and took another deep breath to help herself relax before she turned the knob and entered. The room appeared empty at first – it was relatively early – until she looked over and saw Arnold scribbling into his notebook.

"Arnold!" Helga cried out. _I've gotta stop doing that. _She mentally chastised herself.

"Helga, hey," Arnold said, looking up briefly before looking back down at his work.

"Umm," Helga stammered, wanting to talk to him but at a loss for words. "Uhh, so…" She said, trying to put on a nonchalant air as she moseyed over to her bench. "What are you doing in here so early?"

_Helga's being unusually… nice… today… _Arnold thought to himself but decided not to dismiss a good thing. If Helga wasn't gonna be nasty to him, who was he to complain about it? "I'm just finishing up some homework for next period," Arnold responded, pausing his work to make eye contact with her. "I fell asleep early last night and didn't get the chance to do it,"

Helga nodded awkwardly from her seat on the other side of the aisle and looked down. "Gotcha…"

Arnold turned his attention back to his work but Helga didn't want the conversation to end. "So Arnold, do you… I mean, would you…"

Arnold looked up and Helga lost her train of thought the minute she looked in his eyes. When was the last time she'd seen them open? The last time she'd seen him alive…

"Yeah?" Arnold asked when Helga's pause had gone on long enough.

"What?" Helga jumped out of her daze. "Oh, sorry. I was thinking," She said, trying to be nonchalant and putting on more of a brusque attitude to save face. "Since we've had our fair share of projects together and we've actually done _well _working together," She began. "_After driving each other crazy, of course," _She added with a nervous chuckle and Arnold raised an eyebrow. "I was thinking it'd make sense if we partnered up for our project," She finished with a forced gruffness to her voice and facial expression.

"Umm," Arnold quirked his head slightly. "Sure, I guess. But what project are you talking about exactly…?"

"The one for this class!" Helga said quickly, her voice rising in pitch. Her nerves couldn't handle this kind of pressure! This was exhausting.

Arnold's confused expression only deepened. "We have a project to do?"

_Crap, Mr. Hines hasn't announced it yet. _"Yeah, uhh, I…" Helga stalled, trying to think of a good excuse to justify this conversation. "I overheard Mr. Hines talking and he said we would,"

"Oh," Arnold said and sat back in his seat. "Okay,"

Helga let out the breath she'd been holding in a sigh of relief at that.

"Thanks for asking, Helga," Arnold said, pulling Helga out of her comfortable decompression-time. "I wouldn't expect you to ever _want _to be my partner on _anything_,"

Helga panicked. "Well, don't get too excited, Football—" The beginnings of a look of disappointment on Arnold's face stopped Helga in her tracks. _No, no. You HAVE to be nice, Helga. Don't screw this up! _"I mean, umm… people change, I guess?"

Arnold's lip curled in a half smile and he turned back down to his homework. "I guess so," He said under his breath.

It was only a few minutes later that other classmates began milling into the room and Helga could more easily calm herself down and hide behind the chatter and laughter of her peers. She pulled out her notebook and zoned out, doodling in the margins of her loose-leaf paper until Mr. Hines came in.

"Alright, alright," He said, sipping coffee from his take-out cup and setting it down on the table in the front of the room. "Settle down. First things first. I know it's a little short notice but I have no doubt you'll all be able to get it done before spring break. We're gonna divide up into partners and devise an experiment related to pH. You have free range to develop your own hypothesis and experiment design but run it by me first. Keep it simple. Remember, you should be able to complete this experiment and the report for it by next week. So, go ahead and pick your partners and then we'll get started on today's objectives,"

Helga turned and watched as her classmates got up and walked around, picking their partners. Helga's muscles tensed when Lila approached Arnold. That charming smile made Helga crinkle her nose in disgust. Helga watched as Arnold shook his head and jerked a thumb over in her direction before Lila walked away.

_Yes! Yes, yes, yes! _Helga exclaimed in her head, biting her lip to try and hold her excitement in. Oh, the winds of change were blowing, alright, and they were in her favor!

Helga snickered to herself when Sid sauntered up to Lila and she nodded in response to his request to be partners. _This is going well already…_

**[A/N: The song is Iris-Goo Goo Dolls. Hope you all liked this update! Let me know what you think! I'd love to know your thoughts as the story unfolds! ^_^ Ta ta for now!]**


	3. Chapter 3

**[A/N: Hey guys! I found a little extra time (and by that I mean, I'm procrastinating on my school assignments XD) to write this next chapter! I'm laying the groundwork for some stuff that is to come so I hope you enjoy this chapter! It's not as long as the previous two chapters but I expect the chapters to fluctuate in length anyway. **

**After talking to a friend about chapter 2, I realized not all of you may have caught something I threw in there and I wanted to point it out. Remember how Helga told Phoebe she needed to put something white in the window of her car so people knew she'd be coming back for it and how in the "past" Helga had a white shirt to give her but in the present she didn't? Well, Helga had that white shirt in the past but didn't in the present because it's the same white shirt she got from donating blood that she'd rejected the morning after Arnold's funeral since well... you get the dark irony behind a blood donation shirt and Arnold basically dying from blood loss, right? Okay then. So that's why those two situations were different :).**

**BUT ANYWAY, I hope you like this next chapter and I super appreciate all the reviews and kind comments! I'm fighting hard to bite my tongue and not tell anyone my complete plans for this story (something I really struggle with XD lol) because I'm so freaking excited for it. I'm always excited for the endings of my stories haha. **

**Anyway, anyway... you don't wanna hear me chatter on and on so here's chapter 3!**

**I don't own Hey Arnold]**

After school everyone was making their way to the student parking lot. Gerald caught up with Phoebe and Helga as they were walking along the sidewalk and draped an arm over Phoebe's shoulders.

"Hey babe," He greeted her. Gerald was almost a foot taller than Phoebe by now but the height difference was surprisingly adorable. "So we're goin' to check out your dad's car? Is it still at the donut shop?"

"Yes, if you don't mind!" Phoebe said sweetly. "I really hope it isn't something terribly complicated,"

"We'll see," Gerald said. "Jamie-O taught me a few things. I can call him and see if he has any ideas, too. If not, we can just get it towed to a shop,"

Phoebe's face fell in concern. "Oh dear, Father will be quite displeased…"

"It'll probably just be in the shop for a few days," Helga chimed in out of nowhere. "No big deal,"

Gerald and Phoebe looked at her for a moment, then Phoebe sighed. "I hope you're right,"

_I know I'm right… _Helga thought to herself, rolling her eyes.

"My man!" Gerald suddenly called out and Helga turned to her left to see Arnold coming from the other side of the building. "What's up?"

"Nothin' much," Arnold said, slipping his green beanie back onto his head now that he was outside and falling into step beside Gerald. "Hey Helga, since we're partners for the –"

"Whoa, hold up," Gerald interrupted, then leaned in to his best friend. "You got stuck workin' with Pataki?"

"I can still hear you, ya know," Helga muttered, rolling her eyes, but Gerald ignored her.

"Yeah," Arnold said nonchalantly, shrugging. "We've worked together before and we always got good grades,"

Now Gerald rolled his eyes. "I swear you have a death wish or somethin',"

By now they'd gotten to the student lot and it was time to part ways.

"You're riding with Geraldo here, right Pheebs?" Helga asked and Gerald made a face.

"Yes, thank you for picking me up this morning, Helga!" Phoebe smiled. "I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Sounds good," Helga said. "See ya,"

Helga started to walk over to her car when she remembered her little accident this morning. "Aw man…" She quietly groaned.

Meanwhile, Arnold moved to follow her and spoke, "Hey Helga, since we're gonna be working together, I thought— Oh, wow…" Arnold stopped next to Helga, observing the damage to the front of the car he hadn't been able to see that morning.

"Bob's gonna have my ass for this," Helga shook her head.

"I mean," Arnold said, trying to be positive. "It's not _that _bad. Sure, the bumper's dented but your lights are fine,"

Helga deadpanned then sighed. "Oh well…" She said, walking over to the driver's side and opening the door. "Gotta face the music sometime,"

"Helga, before you go," Arnold followed her and pulled out his cell phone. "I have your house number but since we're working together I thought it might be easier if we can text, too. Is that okay?"

Helga felt her heart do a small flip and she tensed for a moment. _He wants my number! _"Uh, sure… that makes sense," Helga said, tilting her head down to hide a blush as she pulled her phone from her pocket.

"What's your number?" Arnold asked, going into the contacts tab on his phone. "I'll text you so you have mine,"

"4783940393," Helga said in a small voice, her hair whipping across her face from the wind.

"Got it," Arnold said and smiled. "I'll text you and we can figure out what we're gonna do, okay?"

Helga forced herself to keep what she hoped was a normal face. "Yup,"

"See ya!" Arnold said and started walking over to the Packard.

Helga waved and then climbed into the front seat. As soon as the door was shut, she grabbed the steering wheel and bounced up and down. "AHHHHH!"

Suddenly, Helga felt her phone vibrating against her stomach from inside her hoodie's pocket. She pulled it out and opened the text from an unsaved number.

**Hey, it's Arnold. ****:)**** This is my number.**

And then Helga squealed again.

_Okay, calm down. You have to drive home. No more stupid accidents. _Helga took a deep-breath and backed out of her parking spot but when she put the car in drive and started to make her way out of the lot, a terrible grinding sound started coming from beneath the front of the car. _Dammit, it's probably that stupid plastic thing… _Helga thought to herself. It only got louder until she could barely even hear the radio and it was obvious everyone else could hear it, too. Helga passed by the Packard and saw Arnold watching her car, his face wincing slightly. A few other classmates were on the other side of the lot, also watching. One of them being Rhonda who simply turned her nose up in disgust and rolled her eyes.

_Great. Just great. _Helga muttered in her head as she trekked home.

. . . . . . . .

"_Olga!" _Big Bob hollered up the staircase and Helga cringed. She'd been sitting at her desk trying to focus on homework when Big Bob got home. She already knew he'd probably seen the car. "Get your ass to the trophy room, pronto!"

Helga closed her notebook and trudged downstairs, already anticipating Big Bob's fit. She flopped onto the couch as Big Bob stood on the opposite side of the room, his fists on his hips and his eyes angry. "What the hell did you do to my car?"

"There was a…" Helga paused, trying to think of an excuse. "Umm… I hit the curb at school 'cause there was a… cat. There was a cat in the parking lot and I didn't wanna run it over," Helga forced a toothy smile.

Big Bob deadpanned. "Right. Don't lie to me, little lady. You hit more than a curb with that dent to my bumper plain as day!"

"It was an accident, what does it matter _why _it happened?" Helga deflected. "Just take it out of my allowance,"

"Oh, you bet your ass I am. And I'm taking the keys," He said, putting his hand out.

"What?!" Helga jumped up. "No, how am I gonna get to school now?"

"Not my problem," Big Bob shook his head and motioned with his hand for her to give him the keys. "Take the bus or whatever it is you used to do before I let you use _my _car,"

"Ughhh," Helga groaned. "Fine…"

"Actually," Big Bob stopped her as she started to head back upstairs to get the keys. "You know what you can do? You can drop it off at the shop tomorrow morning so I don't have to take any time off work and then you'll give me the keys, understood?"

"Yes, _Bob_," Helga grumbled and stomped upstairs. "Perfect. Back to the stinking bus,"

. . . . . . . .

Later that night, Helga was downstairs in the living room watching TV when her phone vibrated and a notification saying "Arnold: New Message" popped up on the screen.

**Hey, when did you want to start working on our project? I'm busy tomorrow but could meet up Wednesday if you're free.**

Helga sat up straighter in her chair and took a deep breath to steady her nerves. Arnold was texting her! Granted, it was about their project but still! Helga mentally patted herself on the back for not regressing into her former, nastier ways. At least not yet. After a few messages that Helga wrote, erased, re-wrote, and erased, she finally responded.

**Wednesday's fine.**

Helga let out a breath and started to relax back into her chair when her phone went off again, making her jump.

**Do you want to come over here to work or do you want me to come to you?**

Helga swallowed the air bubble in her throat. She still felt like she was waiting to wake up from a dream. How could this be so perfect? She just needed to keep her temper under control and somehow walk the fine line between being nice and saving face. And eventually, when the time was right, she'd tell him. Just, suck it up and tell him the truth.

**Your house is fine.**

_Why is everything'fine'? _Helga mentally chastised herself. _I'm about as eloquent as a damn fish._

**Cool. **

Arnold responded, then followed up with another text. **How's the car?**

Helga calmed her momentary excitement that Arnold was now asking about something other than their project.

**It made that noise the whole way home and I have to take it to the shop tomorrow. Bob threw his fit and took the keys away so I get to ride the bus again for the rest of my life. Yay me.**

For some reason it felt easier to talk to Arnold through text. Probably because he couldn't see her ridiculous facial expressions every time he sent her a message.

**:/ That sucks, I'm sorry.**

**It's whatever. I have more important things to worry about.**

_Shit, did I say too much? _Helga gulped as she watched the message send before she could think about what she just said. But Arnold would have no reason to think that what she was talking about was him dying in the next month and her trying to find the guts to tell him she actually loved him, right?

**Good call. So Wednesday I have to stay after school for a little bit to meet with one of my teachers so do you wanna come to the boarding house around 4:30?**

_He's staying after school? _Helga thought, an incredulous look on her face. _What the heck for? Well, no… I shouldn't ask. It's too soon to get too chummy…_

**OK, that works.**

**Great, see you Wednesday.**

. . . . . . . .

**March 3rd**

Tuesday after school, Arnold, Gerald and Sid met up at Harold's house. Over the past few months, they'd formed something of a "band", mostly playing covers though they'd made their fair share of attempts at writing their own stuff. For the most part, they just liked to jam together. Harold had a drum kit in his basement that he'd been playing since middle school, Sid played guitar on a hand-me-down from his cousin and Gerald had a bass he'd gotten two Christmases ago. Arnold had a guitar as well that he sometimes played while he sang but depending on the song, found that to be difficult and usually ended up just singing.

"Hi, Mrs. Berman," Arnold greeted Harold's mom when she opened the door and escorted him through the kitchen to the basement door.

"_Mrs. Berman_," She gushed, turning to her husband who was sitting at the table reading a newspaper. "Will you listen to him talk, Jerry? What a sweetheart," She turned to yell down the basement steps. "Harold! Your friend Arnold's here!"

_"Come on, Arnold!" _Harold yelled up impatiently.

"Yeah, we've been waiting forever," Sid added.

"Sid," Gerald said calmly. "You've only been here fifteen minutes,"

"Sorry guys, I got caught in traffic coming back from taking groceries home," Arnold explained as he came down the steps.

The staircase divided the half-finished basement into two sections. On one end was the laundry area with old linoleum tiles, a deep freezer, and some boxes. The other half had old maroon-colored carpeting that looked pretty dingy now and had its fair share of stains. Harold's drum kit was set up near a wall toward the back with some half-hearted attempts at sound-proofing on the walls and ceiling. Sid and Gerald had their instrument cases open but hadn't taken them out yet and there was a microphone stand over by a wall. Sid and Gerald were sitting on a light orangish-brownish couch was up against the wall drinking Yahoo sodas and Harold was already seated on the drum throne, ready to get started.

"Yeah, yeah," Harold picked up his drumsticks and hit the snare pointedly. "Come on, let's go,"

"So Arnold, I see you're still alive twenty-four hours after being partnered with Helga in your science class," Gerald remarked and Harold groaned, putting his drumsticks back down and crossed his arms.

"Yeah," Arnold said, walking over to retrieve the mic stand and pull it out into the middle of the room. "She's actually been pretty… nice, lately so I don't mind,"

"Ha, yeah okay…" Gerald rolled his eyes.

"I really wanna ask Lila out," Sid suddenly blurted out, then his eyes bugged out as he tried to backpeddle. "Oh shit, Arnold. Sorry! I mean, she's my partner for the science thing and I—"

"It's okay, Sid," Arnold put up a hand and shook his head. "I don't care. I haven't _liked _Lila like that since we were kids,"

Sid let out a huge sigh of relief and reclined back into the couch. "OK, good…"

"How's Phoebe's car?" Arnold directed to Gerald as he tapped the microphone to check that it was on.

Gerald got up off the couch and pulled out his bass from its case as Sid followed suit with his guitar. "It's in the shop but she should have it back either tomorrow or Thursday. They said she needed her starter motor replaced,"

"Oh okay," Arnold said, having no idea what that was. "At least she's getting it back soon. Was her dad mad?"

"Nah," Gerald said, slipping his bass strap over his head. "It wasn't her fault it went up,"

"That's good," Arnold nodded. "Helga's dad was pretty mad about the dent she caused,"

"Yeah… Phoebe told me about that," Gerald said, eyeing him strangely.

"Guys, did you hear about that karaoke place over by P.S. 118?" Sid interrupted. "They're gonna start doing open-mic nights next week and a lot of people from school are talking about checking it out,"

"Alright, let's do it!" Harold exclaimed.

"Works for me," Arnold shrugged.

Gerald nodded. "I'm down,"

Harold started a beat and the guys jammed and hung out for the next few hours.

. . . . . . . .

**March 4th**

Helga showed up to the boarding house a bit earlier than she'd originally planned. Big Bob had gotten off work early today and was home when she got back from school. The car shop had called that day and it was going to cost $500 to fix the bumper of the sedan.

After being yelled at and arguing with her dad for fifteen minutes, Helga stormed out of the house and walked around for a little while. It wasn't like she'd intentionally messed up the car. And how was she supposed to know how much it would cost to fix something like that? Given the circumstances, it was a good thing she didn't do any more damage than she already did but of course she couldn't explain to her dad the _real _reason why she'd hit that sign…

By 3:45, Helga had walked around the neighborhood enough and was near Arnold's house anyway so she figured she'd hang around and wait. As she walked down the sidewalk and came closer to the boarding house, Arnold's grandma opened the door, dragging a medium-sized rug down the stoop along with a broom that she must have intended to beat it with. She noticed Helga coming up the sidewalk and adjusted her glasses.

"Oh Eleanor, I'm afraid Kimba hasn't gotten home from school yet," She said kindly.

"That's okay, I know he—wait, _Eleanor?_" Helga raised an eyebrow.

"You're welcome to come in and wait if you like," Grandma went on. "Shouldn't be too long and it's still a little bit nippy out here,"

"Umm… okay," Helga agreed. "Thanks," She carefully avoided stepping on the rug as she walked up the stoop and hesitated before going inside.

"Go ahead into the sitting room, dear," Grandma said, beating the rug mercilessly as Helga watched, somewhat alarmed. "I'm gonna make sandwiches once I'm done with this ruffian here,"

Helga, wide-eyed, just nodded. "Right, okay,"

The boarding house was almost exactly as Helga remembered it. She hadn't been in here since she was nine and memories of her sneaking in to retrieve some item that would have revealed her secret flooded through her head. She went into the living room and sat down on the couch. The TV was off but an old radio in the corner of the room was playing some kind of old song.

_You taught me how to love,  
What it's of, what it's of.  
You never said too much  
But still you showed the way,  
And I knew from watching you  
Nobody else could ever know  
The part of me that can't let go._

Helga found herself listening to the lyrics even as her gaze wandered the room, studying everything from the books on the bookcase to the pictures on the walls.

_And I would give anything I own,  
Give up my life, my heart, my home.  
I would give everything I own,  
Just to have you back again._

She started to think about Arnold and everything that had happened in such a short amount of time. How could it be that she was sitting here on his couch waiting for him to get home when only a few days ago she'd been mourning, crying her grief into her pillow every night? She couldn't lose him again. But what stung her heart even more was knowing that she never really had him in the first place.

_Is there someone you know,  
You're loving them so,  
But taking them all for granted?  
You may lose them one day,  
Someone takes them away,  
And they don't hear the words you long to say._

This brought tears to the corners of Helga's eyes and she sniffled, pawing at her face with the wrist of her sleeve.

"Hey Helga, you're here early," Arnold's voice was suddenly behind her and she jumped, frantically drying her face.

"Oh!" She said, not turning to look at him for fear her face may be red and splotchy, which it was. "Yeah, sorry. I was nearby and your grandma invited me in and—"

"It's no big deal," Arnold said, thankfully paying more attention to getting settled than to why she was acting like a weirdo. Or maybe he was just used to it? "My room is kind of a mess but the boarders are gonna be getting home soon and they'll just bother us while we're trying to work,"

"That's fine," Helga said in a small voice, finally feeling herself calming back down as she stood up to follow him. _He's inviting me to his room! _Helga swooned in her head.

"So," Arnold said, dropping his backpack onto his bed once they were in his room. "do you have any ideas for what you wanna do?"

"What I want to _do_?" Helga jumped, her cheeks flushing.

"Yeah," Arnold nodded, pulling out his notebook. "I found this experiment online with red cabbage as a pH indicator. I was thinking we could do that if you didn't have any other ideas,"

"Oh, right… cabbage…" Helga nodded. "Sounds great," _Criminy, of course he was talking about the project, you idiot! Calm your ass down!_

"Cool," Arnold said, sitting down on his bed. "Umm, Helga, you can sit down if you want. There's a couch right behind you. You don't have to stand,"

"What, me?" Helga once again fumbled with words as she realized how dopey she probably looked still standing in front of the door. "Umm… but, okay so tell me about this cabbage thing," She said, diverting the topic as she sat down on Arnold's red pull-out couch.

"Basically we take the juice from a red cabbage and use that to indicate the pH of different things. It looks pretty simple. I think the hardest part will be standardizing it but we have a week so it shouldn't be that bad," Arnold said, standing up and walking over to his computer. "Here, I'll show you. Come look," He motioned for her to come over. Helga got up and stood behind him, looking over his shoulder as he pulled up a web page that talked about using red cabbage as a pH indicator of various household liquids.

"Works for me," Helga shrugged.

"Okay, great," Arnold said, scooting back from his chair and turning to Helga. Slightly uncomfortable with how close they were, Helga took a step back. It was a struggle to look him in the eye while he was talking to her and not either swoon or fall crying into his arms. "So, all we have to do is boil some red cabbage, test and make sure that the juice actually does change color when we mix it with certain things, and then we'll make a color scale for it, test a few more things and write up our report,"

Helga nodded. "Do you have red cabbage here?"

"No, I'll probably pick some up tomorrow," Arnold said. "What does your schedule look like for the next week? I think we could get most of this done in the next few days if you're available,"

"I'm free," Helga shrugged.

"Okay, so how about I go to the store tomorrow and get some red cabbage and then I'll come to your house?"

"Umm, sure, okay," Helga said. "I won't be home til around 3:30 'cause I have to take the bus now," She added with a hint of bitterness.

"Oh, well do you want me to just give you a ride?" Arnold offered. "You can come with me to the store,"

"Really?" She said, taken aback. "I don't need your charity, Arnold,"

"I was just asking…" Arnold said, slightly annoyed.

"No, no!" Helga back-peddled, "I mean, it's no big deal. You don't have to do that,"

"I know I don't have to," Arnold said. "I want to…I mean, besides, it makes sense since we're going to the same place, right?"

"Right…" Helga said with a slow nod. "Umm, okay then, I guess,"

"Cool," Arnold said, smiling. "I'll see you tomorrow then and we'll get started,"

"That's the plan," Helga said awkwardly as she walked over to the door. "Um… bye Arnold,"

"Bye, Helga," He said as he turned back to his computer, Helga's gaze lingering on him for one extra moment before she pulled the door closed behind her.

**[A/N: And there we have it! Thanks for your patience, guys. I wish I could write more frequently. School is intense and we're finally at the end of the semester. However, I hope to get a lot more chapters for this story AND Say Something done once winter break starts. Thanks again for all the love and Happy Thanksgiving! :)**

**Also, the song in this chapter was "Everything I Own" - Bread]**


	4. Chapter 4

**[A/N: Thank goodness for Thanksgiving break! I got another chapter out and it feels good! I probably won't be able to get another one done before the end of the semester but... we'll see. Here's hoping, right? Anyway, here we go!**

**I don't own Hey Arnold]**

**March 5****th**

The snow had finally melted to the point that only a few sparse patches remained in the places where it has once been stacked in piles. As throngs of students milled out of the main doors of the school, Helga and Phoebe chattered on their way to the student parking lot.

"You were right, Helga," Phoebe said. "The car didn't take long to fix at all,"

"Told ya," Helga grinned.

"Although, I'm glad Gerald and I got to the parking lot when we did. The store owner came out as soon as we got there and said he'd been wondering why I'd left my car in his lot," Phoebe said as they walked down the sidewalk toward the steps that led to the parking lot. Various students ran past them in different directions, some shouting to one another, others laughing and trying to gather up the remaining snow into snowballs to throw. "He said he'd thought about having it towed,"

"He couldn't do that," Helga rolled her eyes. "It wasn't even there that long. Or in the way of anything,"

Phoebe just shrugged. "So you're working with Arnold today after school?"

Helga felt a familiar, though tiny, hitch in her chest. "Err, yup,"

"Hehe," Phoebe giggled. "I'm sure you're quite pleased about that,"

Helga feigned annoyance but let a smirk escape. "Yeah well, I have my reasons,"

"I'm sure you do!" Phoebe grinned.

_You don't even know the half of it, Pheebs. _Helga thought to herself. _If only you knew what I've been through in the past week. If only you knew what YOU went through last week… _

"Well, I'll see you later, Helga!" Phoebe said as she departed in the direction of her car, leaving Helga to go her own way once they reached the student lot.

Arnold was over by his grandfather's Packard, leaning up against the driver's side door, eyes trained on his cell phone. As Helga drew closer, her figure caught Arnold's eye and he looked up.

"Hey, you ready to go?" He asked, unlocking the door.

"As ready as I can be to go buy some cabbage…" Helga joked sarcastically and went around to the passenger door.

"So, I've got a few things in the backseat that we can use," Arnold said as they pulled out onto the main road. "Beakers, goggles, stuff like that…"

Helga glanced back and noted the cardboard box full of stuff sitting on the seat. "Seems legit,"

Once they arrived at the grocery store and parked, Helga followed Arnold inside as he methodically went through the aisles, grabbing each item from the list he'd made. Once his hands were full of products, Helga snatched the list out of his hands.

"Criminy, Football-head, are we buying out the place?" She said as she read through the list. "Lemon juice, vinegar, coffee filters, TUMS?"

"We've gotta have stuff to test, Helga," Arnold said, taking the list from her. "Could you grab a basket from one of the cashier lines?"

Helga shrugged. "Whatever floats your boat…" She said under her breath as she went and picked out a red plastic grocery basket from under one of the cashier's conveyor belts. "Here," She said, plucking items out of Arnold's hands and putting them in the basket once she returned.

"So what else do we need…" Arnold said to himself as he meandered past irrelevant aisles. "Seltzer water, ammonia, baking soda, and of course the cabbage…" He crossed a few things off of his list and bit the tip of the pen.

"Ix-nay the ammonia and baking soda," Helga interrupted his thoughts. "We have that at my house. Also _this _we don't need," She said, picking up the vinegar and coffee filters from the basket on her arm. "And _this _we don't need either,"

"Okay, that works," Arnold nodded. "We'll just put them back and get the other stuff we need then,"

"I'm on it," Helga said, carelessly shoving the bottle of vinegar and box of coffee filters up onto a shelf stocked with various canned vegetables.

"That wasn't what I meant," Arnold admonished, shaking his head.

"What?" Helga said, acting innocent. "They have people who work here to put unwanted stuff away. I'm saving some poor grocer from boredom, Football-head,"

"Whatever you say," Arnold rolled his eyes as he grabbed a 2 liter bottle of seltzer water and carried it under his arm like a football. "Okay, let's go over to produce and get the cabbage then we're done," He said, turning around to head in the opposite direction. He glanced at Helga carrying the grocery basket. "Here, I can take that," He offered, reaching for it.

"I've got it," Helga snapped. "What, like I can't carry a stinking basket?"

Arnold let out a small, annoyed sigh. "Fine, have it your way,"

"No, wait. I mean," Helga said, trying to redirect the way this afternoon was starting. "I mean, it's okay. It's not heavy and I don't mind carrying it," She said slowly, as if the words were a foreign taste to her tongue. "But, uhh… thanks,"

This surprised Arnold and his brow lifted. "No problem," He said with a half-smile.

They approached the cabbage and Arnold rooted through the selection of red cabbages until he found two that looked to be decent sizes and didn't appear to be beaten up or getting old. "How do these look?"

"Like cabbage," Helga said plainly.

Arnold deadpanned but a small smirk played on his lips. "Okay, I think we're ready," He said as he gently laid the two cabbages in the basket. "I figured we'd split the cost, does that work for you?" Arnold asked once they reached the check-out line.

Helga shrugged. "Makes sense," She said as she started putting items up on the conveyor belt and Arnold grabbed one of the plastic separators to put behind their stuff to delineate their stuff from whoever came up behind them.

On the way to Helga's house, Arnold didn't say much. Helga felt tense in her seat, every muscle tightened and her hands fidgeting as she forced herself to keep her gaze out the window and not on Arnold. It was so hard to look at him even though that was all she really wanted to do. Images of Arnold's face, cold and vacant lying in a casket flooded her mind and her breath would catch in her throat and she felt like she was suffocating. She stole glances at him, never brave enough to look directly at his face she studied the way his fingers curled slightly around the steering wheel, the way his legs moved when he switched to the brake at stoplights, the gentle, subtle rise and fall of his abdomen with each breath he took. Just to see him breathe made something well up in Helga and the desire to grab him and hold him and never let go gnawed at her.

They finally reached Helga's brownstone and got out. Almost all of the snow that had once remained at the edges of the sidewalk this morning had melted by now.

"Dammit," Helga whined almost immediately upon stepping out of the car.

"What?" Arnold asked as he opened the backseat door and pulled the cardboard box of supplies out.

Helga scrunched her face up in disgust and huffed as she reached inside to grab the grocery bag that had been sitting at her feet on the ride home. "I stepped in a big-ass puddle," She muttered, closing the door. "Ugh, it feels so gross,"

The house was quiet when they entered but when they walked into the kitchen, a gentle snore was coming from Miriam who was laying, arms crossed, over the countertop with a puddle of drool forming beneath her mouth.

Helga kicked her shoes off into the foyer and reached around to flip the kitchen lightswitch. "Naptime's over, Miriam!" She said loudly, pulling off one soaking-wet sock at a time and dropping them next to her shoes.

"Huh, wha?" Miriam startled, adjusted her glasses and looked around with a cloudy gaze. "Oh Molasses, it's just you,"

"Nope," Helga said unapologetically as she plucked Miriam's empty glass from the counter and rinsed it in the sink before setting it down with the rest of the dirty dishes. "Your horse isn't here,"

Arnold sat the cardboard box down farther on the counter and the awkward expression on his face was obvious.

Helga, feeling self-conscious about her mother, got a bit more forceful. "Hey Miriam, why don't you go in the living room? I think Molasses is behind the couch," She said with an edge of bitterness in that last statement.

Miriam was slow to budge and Helga went behind her, grabbing her by the upperarms and lifted her into a standing position. "Right. I'll take care of it," Miriam mumbled as she stumbled into the next room.

Helga and Arnold were quiet for a moment as Helga picked the grocery bag up from the floor and set it on the counter. Arnold watched her pull the items out then finally broke the silence. "Is she always like that?" He asked quietly.

"Who, Miriam?" Helga asked, raising her eyebrows in mock ignorance, then sighed. "Story of my life," She muttered.

Arnold's expression fell and he glanced in the direction Miriam had gone. "Do you wanna—"

"Talk about it?" Helga cut him off. "No, not really, Arnold," Somehow even though she'd snapped at him, there wasn't as much anger to her voice as there normally was. Instead, her voice was peppered with vulnerability, sad, but still guarded.

Arnold let the subject go and pulled out the cabbages. They spent the next twenty minutes in almost silence. Helga pulled out a cutting board and a small pot from the cabinet. As she began chopping up the cabbage, Arnold pulled out beakers and goggles from the cardboard box, as well as a box of gloves from their grocery bag and set them aside to use. He then grabbed the pot and sidled up next to Helga at the sink to get some water to boil.

Helga noted the way Arnold's elbow gently grazed her arm when he moved up next to her. Oh, what she would have given to just grab him and pull him close to her, a loving embrace from which she wished they'd never have to part. How could it be that even though he was standing right next to her, her heart could still break and mourn for him? Perhaps it was some bittersweet dream tantalizing her with the idea of a second chance as Arnold lay peaceful beneath the ground, unaware of the depths to which he had once and forever would be so loved.

Helga took in a deep breath, exhaling slowly to try and steady herself. "Cabbage is ready," She said in a low, monotonous voice as she scraped the pieces into a medium-sized plastic bowl.

"Okay, great," Arnold said as he sat the pot of water on one of the stove burners. "We just have to get this to boil then we'll let the cabbage soak in the hot water for a while,"

"Gotcha," Helga said with a distant expression and Arnold's brow furrowed with concern.

"Helga, are you okay?" He asked gently and tentatively placed a hand on her shoulder. This startled Helga and she jumped, accidentally knocking one of the beakers off the counter and sending it crashing to the floor. Arnold tried to reach for it before it fell, to no avail, and Helga unwittingly stepped back, catching a shard of glass in her foot.

"Shit!" Helga exclaimed, awoken from her daze. "My foot," She said through gritted teeth as she picked up her foot and grabbed the countertop to balance herself.

"Don't move," Arnold instructed. "Where's your broom and stuff?"

"Next to the fridge," Helga said, wincing as she examined her bleeding foot.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Big Bob bellowed, having just come in from outside with Olga in tow. She was already on her own spring break and had just come from the airport.

She peered around her father at the spectacle in the kitchen as she dropped her bags at her feet. "Oh dear!" Her sing-song voice was probably more painful to hear than the feeling of glass in Helga's foot. "Baby sister, your foot is bleeding!"

"Way to state the obvious," Helga grumbled.

"Watch your tone little lady," Big Bob warned. "Get this mess cleaned up. Your sister's making some of that fancy uhh… Olga food for dinner," Without waiting for a response, he stalked into the living room with Olga close behind. "Just one more year and she's outta my hair," He muttered, though it was loud enough for Arnold and Helga to still hear.

"_Asshole," _Helga rolled her eyes as Arnold came around with the broom and swept the rest of the glass into a dustpan, his mouth turned down in a frown as he threw a look in the direction Bob had gone. "Are you okay?" He asked as he emptied the pan into the trashcan next to the kitchen island. The pot on the stove had started to boil and Arnold turned the burner off. They probably weren't gonna get to finish their experiment today.

"I'm fine," Helga growled, still trying to get a better view of where the glass cut her.

"Is there still any glass in there?" Arnold asked, tilting his head to try and look at her foot without being too obtrusive.

"How the heck do I know?" Helga snapped. "I can't freaking see it without being some sort of contortionist,"

Arnold grabbed a large empty bowl from the counter and filled it with warm water. He sat it down on the counter then motioned for Helga to come around and sit at one of the chairs by the kitchen island. "Come over here and sit down," He said. "You can put your foot in this bowl and if there's any glass in your foot the warm water will help it come out,"

Helga nodded and hobbled around to the other side of the kitchen island, favoring her right foot and walking with the ball of her foot to avoid stepping on the tender spot. Meanwhile, Arnold spotted her as she stubbornly limped around the kitchen.

"Ugh, there's blood on the floor," Helga sighed when she turned around and saw the light trail she'd left behind.

"Just sit down," Arnold insisted and grabbed the bowl of water from the counter. "Here, lift your foot," He said even as he gently wrapped his hand around her ankle and lifted it before carefully guiding it into the bowl. Helga tensed at his touch but was too distracted to dwell on it.

The water stung for a moment but then almost instantly started feeling better as it soaked. "Sorry about your beaker, Arnold," Helga said quietly.

Arnold waved her off. "Don't worry about it. It's from an old set I had as a kid," He said as he pulled a few paper towels from the roll on the counter. "Gerald and I used to do science experiments when we were kids and some of the stuff was still left up in the attic," To Helga's astonishment, Arnold knelt down and wiped up the places where blood had dripped onto the linoleum.

"Arnold, you don't have to do that," Helga said as she watched him, dumbfounded.

"It's fine," Arnold said, standing back up and tossing the used paper towel bundle into the trashcan. "Besides, I think your dad wants us out of here,"

"Yeah," Helga said, scowling at the reminder of her father. "Better clean up for _Oooolga_," She mocked, crossing her arms.

"Things aren't any better between you guys?" Arnold asked carefully, avoiding her gaze as he started packing things back up on the counter.

Helga scoffed. "Fat chance,"

Helga stewed a moment longer before checking her foot. The bleeding had stopped and she could now better see the cut across the top of the underside of her heel. "Hand me a paper towel, would ya?"

Arnold finished putting his stuff back into the cardboard box, then brought her a paper towel. Helga pulled her foot out of the water and dabbed at the laceration with the paper towel to dry off.

"Better?" Arnold asked.

Helga nodded. "Yeah, I think so," She said, still walking on her tip-toes on the right foot as she carried the bowl over to the sink and dumped it out.

"_Helgaaaaa_," Olga called cheerfully as she approached the kitchen from the living room. "Did you finish your little science experiment?" She asked, with particular emphasis on the last two words.

Helga scowled and rubbed her eyes in annoyance. "No, not really," She muttered.

"Wonderful!" Olga said, obviously not having been listening as she opened the fridge. "I'm making duck a l'orange for dinner tonight with my famous lemon soufflé for dessert," She beamed, then gasped turning to Arnold. "Oh, where are my manners?" She scolded herself. "You are more than welcome to join us!"

"Actually he—" Helga tried to protest.

"Up-up-up!" Olga wagged a finger at Helga, then turned back to Arnold. "I _insist_," She smiled brightly and Arnold turned to Helga, then Olga.

"Sure," He agreed. "Thanks,"

"_You don't have to stay if you don't want to, Arnold," _Helga whispered. "_I sure as hell don't,"_

Arnold smiled, "No, it's okay. I don't mind,"

Helga quietly groaned and slapped a hand to her forehead. _Okay, this might not be so bad. _She tried to reassure herself. _Maybe things will go smoothly and this won't be completely horrible. At least I'll be spending time with Arnold, right?_

Before Helga could think about having some time to just hang out with Arnold, Olga had already started giving out orders.

"Helga dear, cut up this orange would you?" Olga said, thrusting an orange and a kitchen knife into Helga's hands before tending to the duck she'd just pulled out of the fridge. "Just one half of it, in quarters," She instructed, then paused. "Are your hands clean?"

Helga huffed and sat the orange down on the counter before hobbling over to the sink to wash her hands. Meanwhile, Arnold sat at one of the chairs at the kitchen island, unsure of what he should be doing right now but trying to remain pleasant.

Olga sprinkled a mixture of spices over the duck and grabbed the other half of the orange once Helga had cut it.

"Great," Olga commented once Helga had quartered her half of the orange. "Now you can put those in the duck along with the thyme, the marjoram, the parsley, and four onion wedges," She counted each item off on her fingers.

"Onion wedges?" Helga said, raising an eyebrow. "Where are they?"

"In the fridge," Olga said, squeezing juice from her half of the orange into a bowl with white wine and chicken stock.

"There's just one onion in here," Helga said, pulling out a small bag with a single yellow onion.

Olga giggled. "Well you have to cut it up, silly,"

Helga growled and forcefully shut the refrigerator door.

Arnold moved to stand up. "Do you guys want some help?"

"_No!"_

"_Sure!" _Olga exclaimed. "Oh, you're such a dear. How about you help Helga with—oh, Helga no, you need to cut the onion into eight wedges. Only four go _inside_ the duck, we need the other four for the pan,"

"That would have been a nice thing to tell me," Helga muttered under her breath as she halved each of the four wedges she'd just cut, blinking away tears from her irritated eyes.

"Here," Arnold said, grabbing one of the pairs of goggles from his cardboard box on the floor. "Put this on, it'll keep the onion fumes from irritating your eyes,"

Helga looked at him like he was an alien. "You want me to wear chemistry goggles to cut up an onion?"

Arnold gave her a look, then nodded, pointedly shaking the goggles in his hand. Helga sighed and took them, strapping them onto her face and cutting the rest of the onion pieces. "Happy?"

Arnold smirked at her which made Helga's heart flutter but her little moment was interrupted by Olga. "Okay now you can put four of those wedges into the duck and—"

"You want me to stick my hand up that bird's ass?" Helga deadpanned.

"Helga!" Olga admonished. "_So vulgar_…"

By the time dinner was ready a couple hours later, Helga just wanted the night to be over. Nevermind the fact it was so awkward having Arnold pay witness to the eccentricities of her family, she was absolutely sick of hearing Olga go on and on about her field experiences with the Inuit children of Alaska.

"Hey Helga, grab me a Yahoo from the fridge, would ya?" Big Bob ordered.

Helga rolled her eyes and stood up. "Funny how you only remember my name when you're bossin' me around," She mumbled on her way to the fridge.

"What's that? " Big Bob said, turning in his seat.

"Nothing," Helga feigned innocence and handed him his beverage as she gingerly returned to her seat. Her foot was feeling better but she still didn't want to put her weight on it for fear it would hurt.

Miriam was zoned out and any moment now Helga was convinced she'd faceplant right into her plate. Every time her eyelids fluttered closed and her head started to go down, she waited for it only for her mother to catch herself and sit back up. Then the cycle would repeat.

Arnold quietly ate his food, listening to Olga's stories and inconspicuously observing Helga's behaviors. She looked miserable. She was scowling and pushing food around her plate more than she was eating it.

"What's the matter with you, girl?" Big Bob suddenly directed at Helga. "Your sister went to a lot of hard work to make this… this stuff and you better not waste it,"

"_She _went to a lot of trouble?" Helga sat up, an incredulous expression on her face. "I did half of the work!"

Olga patted her father's forearm. "That is true, Daddy," She nodded. "Helga was a great helper. Her and her little boyfriend made—"

Arnold coughed on the sip of water he was taking and Helga's face flushed bright red.

"He's not my boyfriend!" She exclaimed, her heart pounding out of her chest in a panic. "He's my science partner. You know, the science project that you guys _interrupted_," Helga effectively covered up her embarrassment with anger and it worked. The panic subsided and was replaced with bitterness and a scowl. A familiar pattern.

"Yeah, whatever," Big Bob rolled his eyes and took a big bite of duck. "You can have the kitchen back after dinner,"

"It doesn't even matter anymore," Helga crossed her arms. "We're just gonna do it another day,"

"Fine then," Big Bob said. "Be a stubborn ass,"

"Ughh," Helga threw up her hands and stood up, grabbing her plate.

"Helga, you didn't finish your food," Olga scolded gently and Helga threw a glare at her sister.

"I'm stuffed," She said plainly and set the plate on the countertop just as Arnold was also standing up.

"May I be excused?" He asked politely.

Big Bob nodded, a bite of food in his mouth as he pointed his fork at Arnold, then said to Helga, "See that? _Manners_,"

Helga leaned back against the counter, fuming, as Arnold walked over and put his plate on top of Helga's.

"I'm gonna get ready and go," He said quietly and bent down to pick up his cardboard box.

Helga nodded and followed him out, passing by the table.

"Thanks for dinner," Arnold said as they walked by.

Olga swallowed her sip of water and set her glass down, then clasped her hands together. "You are so welcome! Good to see you again, Arnold!" She smiled and waved as Arnold and Helga walked outside.

Helga pulled the front door closed behind her and let out a huge sigh as she leaned back against it.

"About all that in there, Arnold," Helga said, avoiding his gaze. "I'm really sorry,"

Arnold shook his head and sat the cardboard box down at the base of her stoop before ascending a couple steps toward her. "Don't worry about it. My family can be kind of… difficult sometimes, too," He rubbed the back of his neck. "I wish they were nicer to you though,"

This caused Helga's ears to perk up and she looked at him. "Uh-um, thanks," She said, her eyes wide and uncertain.

The air between them was silent for a moment before Arnold spoke again, "So, do you wanna just finish the project at my house?"

_Oh, bless your sweet soul, you football-headed saint. _"Yeahh, that's probably a good idea," Helga nodded slowly.

"_Helga, get your ass in here and help clean up!" _Big Bob yelled from inside.

"Okay, well," Arnold looked past Helga at her family getting up from the dinner table in front of the window. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow? You can just come home with me after school,"

Helga nodded. _He's offering to give me a ride again! _She thought to herself before quickly squelching any giddiness. Outwardly, they both looked very awkward and uncertain about their interactions right now.

"Alright," Arnold nodded, starting to take a step back. "Well, thanks for letting me stick around for dinner,"

"Thanks for not running away screaming," Helga retorted sarcastically and Arnold let out a soft chuckle.

"Have a good night, Helga," Arnold smiled at her and patted her forearm before picking up his box and loading it into the Packard.

"Bye," Helga's voice was barely audible as she gave a small wave and ducked back in the house.

**[A/N: There you have it! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I'm sorry if it doesn't seem like there's enough action happening; I PROMISE things are gonna get intense in later chapters! Anywho, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and continue to follow - I'm super excited to see your reactions once we get to... well... you'll see ;) Please review and let me know what you think! I love hearing your thoughts and predictions.]**


	5. Chapter 5

**[A/N: Okay! This bad boy is over 6,000 words and hopefully that can hold you guys over until at least next week! I have two papers and two projects due all within the next week so I won't be able to do much with the story until after all that stuff has been turned in. BUT, the other day I had another idea for how I'm handling the progression of this fic and it led to a much well-rounded plan for the ending so I'm even more excited. I wish I could tell you guys what I have planned but unfortunately, I have to resist the urge to give out spoilers.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter and as always, I don't own Hey Arnold!]**

**March 6****th**

Helga couldn't help herself from sneaking glances at Arnold on the drive to the boarding house after school. The radio was on but the volume was low so Helga could barely make out the melody.

_This is pathetic. I should talk to him about something instead of watching him like some weirdo. I'm not nine anymore, dammit! _Helga mentally chastised herself.

_And I'd give up forever to touch you,  
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow.  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be,  
And I don't wanna go home right now._

Helga's ears perked up at the familiar words but her curiosity was interrupted.

"So, I think we'll be able to finish up all the tests tonight," Arnold broke the silence between them and Helga jumped to attention. Thankfully, Arnold didn't notice exactly how startled she'd been considering his focus was on the road. "I have band practice tomorrow so I'd like to get everything done today. If we need to meet up on Sunday for anything, we can do that, though,"

Helga did a double-take, "You're in a band?"

_And I don't want the world to see me,  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.  
When everything's made to be broken,  
I just want you to know who I am._

"Huh?" Arnold, realizing she didn't know about his jam sessions with the guys, flushed the lightest shade of pink. "Oh, yeah, it's no big deal," He waved it off. "We just do covers and stuff,"

"Hmm," Helga tapped her chin thoughtfully and leaned back in her seat. "Interesting,"

Arnold turned to her, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," Helga grinned innocently and pretended to be interested in something outside. _Oh my love, how I would adore the opportunity to hear your band as you play musical notes that dance their way around my heart…_

Arnold huffed, one eyebrow raised suspiciously at her, but he let it go.

Once they got into the boarding house and got everything set up in the kitchen, it wasn't long before they were interrupted.

"Hey Arnold," Oskar slinked into the room. "I heard you and your little friend were doing a science project in here, hehehehe," He peered around them at the counter and the items laid out across it – cabbage, beakers, goggles, lemon juice, etc.

"Yeah," Arnold said, filling a pot up with water from the kitchen sink. "We have to make a pH indicator out of red cabbage,"

"Why would you have to do that?" Oskar whined, still curiously watching over them.

"Do you know how school works?" Helga asked sarcastically, crossing her arms, and Arnold elbowed her in the side. "Oww! Hey!"

"Hey Helga, could you grab the chopped onion and get ready to put it in the pot once that water heats up?" Arnold re-directed her attention. "We'll let it boil for a while and then take the juice from that to test,"

Helga, rubbing her side dramatically, rolled her eyes. "Yeah, sure," She dug around in the plastic bag she'd brought from home which included a container with the cabbage pieces she'd cut up the day prior.

"I found this experiment online," Arnold said to Oskar who was still spectating and being somewhat in the way when either Helga or himself needed to move around. "We only have a week to do an experiment somehow involving pH. Then we have to write a report about it and make a slideshow presentation for class,"

"Hello Arnold," Mr. Hyunh came into the kitchen and headed to the fridge. "Hello, Arnold's friend. What are you doing?"

Helga sighed. She was getting a little irritated at the questions but most of all the lack of alone time with Arnold.

"It's a science experiment," Arnold answered as he pulled a box of plastic test tubes out of his big cardboard box of supplies.

"If the experiment is online, why don't you just use that to write your report and avoid all this mess?" Oskar suggested.

"Oskar!" Mr. Hyunh scolded as he poured himself a glass of milk. "You are bad influence!"

"What, I'm just saying it looks like a lot of hard work for nothing," Oskar stretched his arms in an innocent gesture.

"You leave them alone," Mr. Hyunh said, taking a sip of his milk and wiping his face. "Arnold is good student,"

"Why do I have to leave him alone? I'm just trying to help," Oskar said.

Mr. Hyunh wagged his finger at his fellow boarder. "You do not help, Oskar! You are cheat!"

"I—"

"Would you two be quiet?" Grandpa poked his head around the doorframe into the kitchen. "Go argue somewhere else and leave Arnold and his friend to do their project in peace, would ya?"

"See, you made Grandpa mad with your interrupting," Oskar said to Mr. Hyunh as they exited the kitchen.

"Oskar, you—" Mr. Hyunh said, his voice trailing off as they walked out of earshot.

"Criminy," Helga said under her breath.

"Thanks, Grandpa," Arnold said as he continued setting up test tubes.

"No problem, Shortman," Grandpa said, throwing a look over his shoulder, then back at the teens in his kitchen. "Let me know if you need anything. Your grandma went out to get dinner for tonight,"

"Is she gonna need the kitchen?" Arnold straightened up, having set up the test tubes in neat rows in their stand on the counter.

"Well, the last I saw of her she said something about 'the hunt' and 'eat everything you kill' so…"

"I think I'll just make a sandwich for tonight," Arnold nodded.

"Probably a good idea," Grandpa gave a quick nod himself then headed back out into the other room.

Once the cabbage had come to a boil, Helga removed the pot from the burner and Arnold pulled out a slotted spatula to remove the cabbage leaves. The water in the pot was now a deep purple color.

"I'll get the test solutions ready," Arnold said, gathering the various household products they would be testing and arranging them on the countertop. "Do you wanna add a little bit of the cabbage juice to each test tube?" Before Helga answered, Arnold was already digging around in his supply box and pulled out a dropper. "Here, you can use this. Just fill each tube up about half-way,"

Helga used the dropper to transfer the cabbage juice from the pot into each and every little test tube Arnold had set up on the counter.

_Come on, Helga. All you two are talking about is this stinkin' project. You've gotta tell him how you feel! Show him you aren't as crazy and mean as you portray yourself to be. He needs to see it! This love I carry in my heart begs to be set free!_

"So, Arnold," Helga began, trying to sound nonchalant as she squeezed cabbage juice into the test tubes one by one. "I uhh,"

"Yeah?" Arnold said, looking at her as he pulled a bottle of lemon juice out of the fridge.

Helga gulped, fighting to steady her hand which was beginning to tremble with nervousness. "Umm, I wanted to say… uhh…So, umm, what did you have to stay after school for the other day?" She blurted out and mentally kicked herself. _Coward!_

"Oh," Arnold paused, seeming slightly surprised by the question. "Umm… it was just an assignment in my English class my teacher wanted to talk to me about,"

Helga ceased scolding herself long enough to be intrigued. "Oh yeah? What assignment?"

"I'd rather not—"

"Oh, c'mon, Football-head. What's the big deal?" Helga rolled her eyes and smirked.

Arnold leaned up against the counter and rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, I got a bad grade on an assignment and she wanted to meet with me about it. I've been having a hard time with this whole unit, actually," Arnold sighed. "That's the homework assignment I was trying to finish that morning you came into class early,"

Helga felt her pulse quickening and though she had a funny feeling of what his response would be, she asked anyway. "What's the unit?"

"Poetry," Arnold said simply and looked up at her.

The color drained from Helga's face and she quickly busied herself with finishing adding the cabbage juice to the remaining test tubes. "Oh, really, huh?" She asked too quickly and with an awkward chuckle.

A moderate tension fell over them and Helga could feel Arnold's presence no differently than if he'd been right up against her. Her skin prickled, hairs on her arms standing on end.

"Yeah," Arnold paused and looked at her. Out of the corner of her eye, Helga could see the look of realization fall over Arnold's face and if she didn't know better, there was a slight blush. "Umm, it's not uhh… not my best subject…"

"It's not for everyone," Helga said quickly, still refusing to look Arnold in the eyes.

At first Helga had thought that Arnold felt too nervous, too awkward, to broach the subject of her poetry. Surely he remembered her rooftop confession? The one in which she'd confessed to writing countless volumes of poetry? All about _him._ But she was wrong.

"You uhh… you were pretty good with that stuff, weren't you?" His voice came out uncertain, nervous. "I mean, I don't know if you still write…" He paused, looking at her for a reaction. "But you did… didn't you?"

"Yup," Helga's voice was almost a squeak. "Back in the day… hehe…" She finished adding the cabbage juice and, still feeling flustered, quickly changed the subject. "Okay! Cabbage juice is in the tubes, what now?"

"Oh, umm…" Arnold said, his train of thought derailed. "Now we just add a few drops of each test solution into the tubes and see if they change colors. Then we'll write down the results,"

"Sounds like a plan," Helga said, her gaze averted to the floor as she moved past Arnold and rifled through her backpack on the floor for a notebook and a pen.

As they progressed through the experiment, their focus and conversation stayed painstakingly within the bounds of science. They made comments about how cool it was to see the lemon juice turn the cabbage juice red and how the ammonia turned it blue but other than that, their dialogue was forced and awkward. When they even spoke at all.

That's why it was such a surprise, as they were dumping out their solutions into the sink, when Arnold broke the silence once again to ask Helga a question.

"So," He said hesitantly, handing tube after tube to Helga as she dumped each one out and rinsed it under the faucet. "Your mom… has she always been umm… like how she was yesterday?"

"Didn't I say I didn't wanna talk about that?" Helga snapped back in a warning tone.

"Well," Arnold shrugged as he handed Helga the final tube. "Yeah, but, I told you about the assignment I failed,"

"It's hardly the same thing," Helga muttered, shutting the water off and ripping a paper towel off the roll to dry her hands.

"Is she gonna try and get any help?" Arnold pressed on. "Like, meetings or something?"

"Criminy, Footballhead!" Helga exclaimed. "I don't know! She's been a drunk my whole life. Maybe I used to think she'd change but by this point? It's like I don't even have a mother," Helga watched as Arnold's face fell and she immediately felt terrible. "Oh shit, Arnold, I'm sorry. I mean, I know your—"

Arnold waved her off though she could tell that this was still his most tender point. "No, it's fine. I have my grandparents. And I know my parents were good people. I'm okay with it,"

_Way to go, Helga. _Helga admonished herself.

After a long pause between them, Helga spoke softly. "Olga tried to get her to go to A.A. a few years ago. She went twice but then she stopped. I don't know why," She sighed and leaned back against the counter, gripping the edges with her hands. "When I was a kid it just made me mad. I would spend time at Phoebe's house and her mom would make us nice meals and she drove us places and made sure we had whatever we needed. I wanted that so bad…" Arnold quietly walked over to the kitchen table and sat down, still listening intently to Helga. "You remember that time my mom took over for my dad at the beeper store for a while? That was the one time she ever did stuff like taking me to school, making me a decent lunch… without something going wrong," Helga rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, this feeling of vulnerability making her uncomfortable but somehow her mouth was speaking faster than her brain could work to stop it. "It didn't last long. It never lasts long,"

"Helga, I—"

Suddenly the front door burst open and a herd of cats, dogs, and Arnold's pig Abner came running into the house and spread out in all different directions. Abner bolted into the kitchen and jumped in Arnold's lap.

"Hey boy," Arnold patted his pet but when Abner turned and looked at Helga, he let out a terrified squeal and darted out of the room. "I wonder what's with him," Arnold scratched his head and memories of breaking into Arnold's house after Abner stole her locket floated across Helga's mind. She smirked at the thought.

"_Dinner!_" Arnold's grandma called out with a crazy cackle.

"_Oh, Pookie, no!_" Helga could hear Arnold's grandpa say.

Some more commotion could be heard now as the boarders came downstairs. It was going on dinnertime and even if they weren't getting kicked out of the kitchen, there would still be people coming in and out to go into the fridge or use the table to fix themselves something to eat.

"We should probably finish cleaning up," Helga said gruffly. Realizing what she just told Arnold, she felt like she'd removed her protective, warm coat on a frigid winter night and was desperate to put it back on.

Arnold nodded and stood up, walking over to help her finish putting everything away. "Yeah,"

The boarders were starting to mill into the kitchen just as Arnold and Helga were on their way out. Helga threw her backpack over one shoulder and Arnold set his supply box down in the foyer for him to take upstairs later.

Alone once again, there was an unspoken layer of tension between them. Ice had been broken today and neither one seemed sure how to act with one another. Helga stood by the door, one hand on the knob and her heart pounding. Arnold was standing about a foot away from her and had she not been fighting with all of her might she could have been inclined to pull him closer.

"You can come over Sunday if you want," Arnold said and Helga felt what could only be described as her heart hiccupping. "You know, to do the report and slideshow and stuff…"

Was it her or did Arnold look relatively awkward now, too? Sure, she couldn't make direct eye contact with him but it seemed like he kept averting his gaze as well.

"Yeah, works for me," Helga said, her voice rising and falling in pitch as she struggled to conceal her discomfort.

"Okay, well," Arnold said, fidgeting with his hands. "I'll see you then,"

Helga finally dared to look up and when she made eye contact, she squeaked. "Yup," She backed up, at the same time trying to open the door with her hand still on the knob. The door opened part of the way but then stopped when it hit her in the back. "Hehe," She chuckled nervously as she maneuvered her way around the door. For one brief moment as she moved to the open side of the door, she was even closer to Arnold and she tried to ignore the way her body charged at the closeness. All the while, Arnold just watched her.

. . . . . . . .

That night, as Helga sat at her desk doing homework, a half-eaten bowl of cold ramen noodles pushed off to the side, she found herself distracted.

With every day that passed it became more and more clear that she wasn't imagining things. Every day at school seemed to replay itself and the words of her classmates were almost always just as she remembered them. It was a surreal feeling and even spending time with Arnold… sometimes she could almost forget that he had died when she saw him smiling at her, when she heard the soft, sunny sound of his voice. Even the way he said her name, whether it was gentle or out of annoyance made her chest flutter. But then the memories would come flooding back. Phoebe crying on her stoop. Arnold's cold, pale face, hands clasped as he lay in his casket. That damned Sarah McLachlan song tearing her heart to pieces as she looked down at her beloved through teary eyes. She could vividly remember the physical pain she experienced from crying so hard that she likened to dry heaving when you were sick. It hurt, it was miserable, and it didn't do anything to help. If anything, it made you feel worse.

Helga put her pen down and grabbed her phone.

"Hello?" Phoebe's cheerful voice came after two rings.

"Hey Pheebs," Helga said, spinning around in her chair, away from her desk.

"Hi Helga. How is everything?"

Helga sighed. "That's a loaded question… I wanted to talk to you about something,"

Phoebe paused. "Umm, okay, Helga. Is everything alright?"

"I don't even know," Helga said, her protective walls perforating in the privacy of her room.

"Oh dear," Phoebe immediately sounded alarmed. "Should I come over? What happened?"

"This is gonna sound really crazy," Helga warned, turning back around to rest her elbows on her desk, one hand holding the phone to her ear and the other hand holding her forehead. Her blonde bangs stuck up in different directions. "I… I don't know how to say this so I'm just gonna be blunt. I think I've been re-living the past few days,"

"…What?" Phoebe asked and Helga knew she was beyond confused.

"Phoebe," Helga said, the thought of what she was about to say bringing tears to the corners of her eyes. "Arnold died a couple weeks ago. You came to my house and told me and Gerald was there and there was a funeral," Helga's voice broke multiple times as she spoke. "But then I went to sleep a few nights ago and I woke up and everything was like… it's like time was turned back or something. I'm _telling _you, I knew all that stuff about your car because it had already happened!" Helga paused to see if Phoebe would say anything. "I sound crazy, I know, but I _feel _crazy. Everything around me is just like, de ja vu. Except a few things,"

"What things?" Phoebe asked and Helga half-wished she could see her best friend's facial expression. But then on the other hand, given how ridiculous this conversation probably seemed, she was glad she couldn't at the same time.

"Like Arnold being my science partner," Helga said, leaving out the detail about preventing Arnold and Lila from partnering and eventually starting to date. "But I'm… I'm actually scared Pheebs… 'cause… I can't handle going through all that again. The funeral and the fucking shelter animals song and his face and—" Helga's voice broke off as she started to cry.

"Helga," Phoebe soothed as she gently tried to get Helga to calm down. "Helga… Helga, it's going to be alright. If you know what's going to happen, as you say, perhaps you can stop it, right?"

At this point, Helga wouldn't have been surprised if Phoebe was humoring her because she thought she was crazy and meanwhile was searching for Dr. Bliss' contact information. But, for what it was worth, she took Phoebe's concern for what it seemed.

"I'm not sure," Helga admitted. "I'm just so confused. It doesn't make sense and I just… if I can't do anything else I-I wanna tell him…"

"You want to tell Arnold you—"

"Yes," Helga cut her off. "H-he's gotta know. I… I owe him that," She paused, dragging in a breath. "It's just so hard, Pheebs. Why is it so difficult to just say, 'Hey Football-head, I'm madly in love with you and always have been and you make my world worth living so please don't go anywhere'?" Her voice rose at the end of that but she calmed herself before she could burst into another round of hysterics.

"Sometimes the easiest way you can show someone you care is just by being nice to them," Phoebe advised and Helga let that soak in for a moment.

"That's what I'm trying to do," She nodded, even though Phoebe couldn't see her. "I just… I dunno," She shrugged, emotionally exhausted.

"I'm not sure I understand what's going on with you correctly, Helga," Phoebe said. "But I do think it'd be wise to consult with Dr. Bliss again,"

_Oh here we go. Phoebe's gonna refer me to the funny farm…_

"You think I'm nuts," Helga accused.

"No, no I don't, Helga," Phoebe said gently. "But, whether what you're saying is true or whether it is something you have imagined – some fear clouding your perception of reality – I think it would be beneficial to seek the counsel of someone who can help you to sort through your feelings in a productive way. I certainly would encourage you to tell Arnold your true feelings if that is what you feel called to do but regardless, I'm still here for you, Helga. And anything I can assist with, I will do my best to try,"

"Thanks, Pheebs," Helga said softly. "You're the best,"

. . . . . . . . .

**March 7****th**

Having finished their third song in a row, the guys took a break from playing to relax and rest for a few minutes.

"I think I've got our set lined up for Saturday," Gerald said as he pulled out a folded up piece of notebook paper from his pocket.

"I can't believe it's next week already!" Sid said excitedly as he ducked his head through his guitar strap and sat the instrument down. "I'm so pumped. But wait, do you guys think we're ready? What if we screw up?"

Arnold sat back against the couch and nursed the Yahoo soda bottle he'd opened before they started playing. "I think we'll be fine, Sid. We still have a week to practice and we all know these songs pretty well,"

Harold was over on the other side of the basement rummaging for a Mr. Fudgie bar in the deep freezer. "Stop whining, Sid or I'll make you eat that guitar of yours!" He called, his head deep in the freezer.

"Just think about it, Sid," Gerald said, putting a friendly arm over Sid's shoulders. "Think about how impressed Lila will be when she sees you up there shredding on that guitar—"

"Gerald, he doesn't really _shred _when we—" Arnold began.

"Hush!" Gerald turned around and shushed his best friend, then turned back to Sid. "How is that going anyway?"

"I dunno," Sid sighed. "I can't tell if she likes me or if she's just being nice. Ugh, she's so damn gorgeous though…"

"Oh man, dude is _sprung_…" Gerald chuckled as he moved away from Sid and sat down on the couch next to Arnold.

"Sprung?" Sid asked, confused, but no one answered him.

"Well, Lila _is _pretty," Arnold admitted. "Don't worry about him, Sid. But if you like her, you should tell her,"

"I know, you're right," Sid agreed thoughtfully. "Maybe I'll tell her next week when we get together again for our project. Speaking of which, how's your project going, Arnold?"

"Actually, we're almost done," Arnold said. "We got the experiment done yesterday and tomorrow we're planning on blowing through and doing the report and slideshow so we'll be ready for class on Tuesday,"

"Did she make you do all the work?" Sid asked.

"No, we did it together," Arnold responded with mild impatience. "She's really not all bad, you guys. I don't know why she's been so much nicer lately than usual but I never thought she was _incapable _of it,"

"That's because you're a saint, Arnold," Gerald chuckled. "You see the good in everyone even if they treat you like shit. You've been sayin' the same damn things 'bout that girl since day one but she's still the same 'ol Helga G. Pataki,"

Arnold sighed. "Anyone can change,"

"Yeah," Gerald agreed, then added, "_If _they want to,"

. . . . . . . .

That night, Helga and Phoebe were talking on the phone. Phoebe's shock and confusion about Helga's confusion had morphed into more curiosity and fascination as she listened to Helga compare her past memories of situations to recent events that had just happened.

"So, what did you do for spring break before?" Phoebe asked.

"Nothing," Helga laughed. "Celebrated the fact that Olga had already gone home by that time and just lounged around the house eating crap and watching wrestling,"

"Oh Helga," Phoebe pleaded. "You really should come to the beach with me and my family for the break. I'm sure you would have so much fun. Besides, I think there may be something… quite rewarding in it for you," She giggled.

"Yeah?" Helga asked, her curiosity piqued. "Like what?"

"Well, I talked to Gerald before I called you and he informed me that he and a few other guys from school would be staying in the same residence as my family and I," Phoebe let her voice trail off, knowing that the gears were turning in Helga's head.

"Other guy friends, huh?" Helga asked and Phoebe knew she'd caught her fish.

"Indeed," She said simply. "I think it would be a lot of fun. You could really take advantage of the free time, don't you think?" Phoebe was smirking into the phone receiver even though Helga couldn't see it. However, listening to Phoebe's voice, she could imagine it.

After a moment of pretending to weigh her options, Helga said, "Well, it couldn't hurt to come along. Besides, my pastey ass could use some sun,"

"How delightful!" Phoebe exclaimed. "I'll inform my mother right away. You and I will share a room, Helga, if you don't mind. I'm so excited!"

"Fine by me," Helga laughed.

. . . . . . . .

**March 8****th**

Helga arrived at the boarding house in the mid-afternoon on Sunday. The weather was gradually getting warmer and she was able to go out in a light purple jacket as opposed to her thick blue hoodie.

She and Arnold worked in Arnold's room at his computer. Arnold had set up another chair beside his desk so that she could see the screen as they typed up their report and worked on the subsequent slideshow.

"You know," Arnold said as he typed. "I was a little hesitant when you first asked me to be your partner 'cause I wasn't sure if we would spend the whole time fighting or not but I have to say, I'm glad we did this together. You were right; we do make a good team as long as we aren't fighting," He turned and smiled at her before returning his focus to the screen.

Helga's face flushed pink and she felt a familiar flutter in her chest. "Uhh, yeah. Well, I usually know what I'm talking about," She said haughtily in an effort to mask her flustered state.

Arnold just chuckled without looking at her which gave Helga the opportunity to relax. She trained her gaze on the screen but her thoughts were far from on their assignment. Here she was, not even a foot away from Arnold, and she felt paralyzed. By fear, by anticipation, by hope, by adoration. She could smell the faintest hint of his shampoo and… perhaps some sort of mild cologne? Whatever it was, it was intoxicating and only made her want to move closer.

Arnold's sleeves were rolled up to the elbows and Helga studied the light blonde hairs on his forearms. They caught the light from above, a blending of the skylight and the setting sun, and reflected it. His skin was a few shades darker than hers, despite the season, and she watched his hands, masculine but gentle, as they typed furiously on the keyboard.

In a daze, Helga sighed dreamily then instantly realized she'd done that aloud.

"You alright?" Arnold looked at her and asked. His face was inches away from hers. How could she handle this pressure?

"Fine," Helga squeaked, then cleared her throat. "I-I'm fine. Just uhh, tired I guess,"

"You're tired?" Arnold turned toward her. "Do you wanna take a break?"

"No, I mean, I'm fine," Helga fumbled. "Don't worry about me…"

Their conversation was interrupted by a knock on Arnold's door.

"Yeah?" Arnold called and the door slowly creaked open. Grandpa cautiously poked his head through the crack, his hand over his eyes.

"Hope I'm not interruptin' anything," He said, then laughed as he let his hand fall to his side.

"Grandpa…" Arnold deadpanned but Helga noticed Arnold's cheeks flush almost as hot as her own.

"I'm just messin' with ya, Shortman," He waved a hand. "Anyway, you two have been workin' so hard, I think you could use some food to keep your strength up. Your grandma and I ordered a couple pizzas. That's good for you, right? They've got tomatoes in 'em,"

"Pizza sounds good," Helga nodded in approval.

"And it is close to dinnertime," Arnold agreed as they both stood up to follow Grandpa back downstairs. "We're almost done anyway. I can finish adding the last slide tonight and then show it to you sometime before class on Tuesday if there's anything you want to change,"

"Works for me," Helga shrugged as they headed downstairs.

A couple of pizza boxes were sitting on the coffee table in the living room and a sitcom was playing on the TV even though no one else was in the room.

"Aren't you and Grandma gonna have any?" Arnold asked as his grandpa headed off in the opposite direction.

"Oh no," Grandpa shook his head. "We're too old. Pizza is for young people," He winked, then went into the kitchen.

Arnold shrugged and followed Helga who'd already walked over to the pizza boxes and was pulling out a large piece whose cheese was dripping over the edges with the thinnest bit stretched several inches long. Arnold grabbed a paper plate from the stack next to the boxes and helped Helga catch her runaway cheese as she laid her slice down.

"Thanks," She said and Arnold smiled, moving to get his own piece.

Helga plopped down on the couch and looked around for the remote. "I am not watching this crap," She said, having finally found the remote, and began flipping through channels.

Arnold sat down next to her and watched the screen as she clicked through a dozen different stations. "Wait, go back one," He said at one point, his mouth full of mozzarella cheese.

"Oh yeah!" Helga said when she recognized the program. "It's Sweeney Todd. I love this movie," She sat the remote down on the coffee table and slouched back against the couch.

"Me too," Arnold nodded.

"You do? But it's so morbid and you're _Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes_," Helga teased.

Arnold gave a playful roll of his eyes and sat back against the couch cushions. "Whatever you say, Helga,"

This closeness was enough to drive Helga even crazier than she already felt that she was. How was she supposed to wrap her mind around the fact that she was currently in Arnold's house, eating pizza, watching one of her favorite movies, and he was literally no more than a foot away from her? When he leaned back into the couch, she _felt _it and the movement had moved her an inch or two even closer to him without even trying. Helga did everything she could to steady her breathing and focus on the movie but as was becoming custom, all she could focus on were the slightest movements Arnold made and the way his scent made her head swim.

As the movie progressed, Helga began to feel more comfortable sitting in such close proximity to Arnold. They'd each eaten a few slices of pizza each and had gotten sucked into the movie so there was an unspoken agreement that they would finish it.

"Sweeney Todd is so effed up in the head," Helga said with a light chuckle, shaking her head as the wild-haired barber slashed the throats of his customers with his razor.

"Yeah," Arnold nodded. "It's amazing how anger and the desire for revenge can change people. He seemed like such a nice guy in the beginning,"

"Yeah, before that asshole judge sent him to jail for nothing and then went after his wife," Helga said gruffly.

The two of them silently watched the movie for a while longer until a particular scene came on.

"Nothin's gonna harm you, not while I'm around!" Arnold sang along with the young boy on the screen in his best imitation of an English accent. Helga just looked at him and laughed. "Demons are prowling everywhere, nowadays. I'll send 'em howlin', I don't care. I got waaays," Arnold stuck his thumb in his chest and exaggerated his accented vibrato.

"You're a little too good at that," Helga rolled her eyes.

"C'mon, lighten up, Helga," Arnold playfully elbowed her in the arm, eliciting a surprised expression, then a mischievous grin.

"Not to worry, not to worry!" Helga sang along in her own English accent, doing her best to hold back from laughing at herself. "I may not be smart but I ain't dumb! I can do it, put me to it, show me somethin' I can overcome. Not to worry, _mum_…" She leaned toward Arnold at the last note, smirking.

Arnold rolled his eyes as Helga moved back into her original position. "I think Toby's my favorite character,"

"No way, Mrs. Lovett's the best," Helga chortled. "She's so freaking gross and hilarious,"

Arnold shrugged and smiled, sitting back and relaxing into the couch.

When the movie finally ended, the two of them paused to get up. Helga didn't want to leave yet. She was enjoying spending this time with Arnold and reveled in how she was slowly becoming more comfortable in his presence.

"So," Arnold said, sitting up on the couch and collecting both of their plates to be thrown away. "I'll let you know when I finish up the slideshow?"

Helga's dismay came out in a small sigh when Arnold stood up and she lost their proximity. "Yeah, that's fine,"

"Cool," Arnold said and walked into the kitchen to throw the plates away, returning only a brief moment later. Helga had already stood up and was stretching her back.

"I just have to get my stuff from your room real quick," She said and Arnold nodded, gesturing for her to go ahead upstairs and get her stuff. Helga paused a moment, surprised that Arnold trusted her enough to let her go up to his room without him, but hurried up the stairs to retrieve her backpack.

She came thundering back down the staircase only a few minutes later and Arnold was still standing in the foyer waiting.

"It's already dark out; do you want me to walk you home?" Arnold offered once Helga had opened the front door. The moon was out and the streetlights were on, a crisp wind blew past the door's threshold.

Helga forced thoughts of Arnold walking Lila home and being attacked out of her head. Arnold was looking straight at her; this was the worst time to lose her composure!

"No, I'll be fine on my own, Arnold," Helga shook her head. "… But thanks,"

Arnold smiled and opened the door wider as Helga took a step out onto the stoop. "Okay. I guess text me and let me know when you get home safe, then?"

Helga's heart fluttered and she fought against the urge to swoon. "Umm, sure, okay," She said, a dopey grin on her face that she was doing a terrible job at hiding.

"G'night, Helga," Arnold said and Helga bit her lip to suppress how ecstatic she was feeling at their interaction.

"See ya 'round, Football-head," She waved and turned her back to him, her uncontainable smile stretching from ear to ear.

**[A/N: I hope you all liked this chapter. I'll need some time before I crank out the next one but I think you'll like where this goes. As always, please let me know what you thought. Questions, predictions, reactions, etc. I love hearing it! Take care!]**


	6. Chapter 6

**[Hey all! Thanks for being so patient! AHHHH, I AM ON BREAK FROM SCHOOOOOL AND IT'S WONDERFUL. And it's only gonna last two weeks... BUT OH WELL. I'm happy to report that even though I feel bad for making you guys wait so long, it paid off in the form of straight A's so... please don't be mad! I have not abandoned ye! And without further adieu, here's chapter 6!**

**I still don't own Hey Arnold ^_^]**

**March 10****th**

On the day their project was due, Helga was walking along the sidewalk to the bus stop. The last remaining bits of snow had finally melted and the ground was drying out after the flood of melting ice. Last night Arnold had emailed Helga the final report for their project and she'd looked it over, printing it out and securing it in her binder in her backpack. Arnold was bringing the slideshow file to school on a flash drive for them to present.

As Helga neared the bench where she'd wait for the bus, a familiar green car slowly pulled up along the sidewalk next to her.

"Need a ride?" Arnold called out pleasantly from the open window.

Helga pretended to give the offer deep consideration before she hurried over to the passenger door and hopped in. "So, what, are you stalkin' me or somethin'?" She asked with a sassy flash in her eyes as she crossed her arms.

"Uh, no," Arnold replied, mildly flustered by the idea as he pulled away from the curb. "I just saw you walking and thought it would be a nice thing to do,"

"To stalk me?" Helga teased. It was a lot more fun making someone else feel awkward than it was to feel that way yourself. If Helga could give Arnold a reason to feel awkward first, maybe it wouldn't be as uncomfortable if something happened or was said that exposed her a bit.

Arnold's cheeks flushed a little bit. "_No!_ Ugh… no, to give you a ride to school…"

Helga laughed. "Don't get your panties in a twist, Football-head. It was a joke,"

"I know," Arnold rolled his eyes and sighed, smirking the tiniest bit.

Helga settled back against the seat. "I need a car," She muttered, half to herself as buildings, buses and people flashed across her view from the window.

"Your dad still hasn't budged about letting you use the car again?" Arnold asked as he turned at a stoplight.

"Pfft… that ain't happenin'… not for a while at least," Helga sighed.

Arnold pursed his lips and nodded, his eyes on the road. "So are you ready to present today?"

"As ready as ready is, Arnoldo," Helga shrugged. "You've got the slideshow, right?"

Arnold nodded in response and the air between them fell still. Helga snuck glances at Arnold for most of the ride to school before sighing and tilting her head back against the seat. He was only a couple feet away from her and still she felt this barrier holding her back from everything she wanted to do and say. Why was this so hard? Sure, it was good that she wasn't berating him anymore and they could actually act civil but there was one little thing that terrified her: the truth. Telling Arnold the truth about how she felt, even though their circumstances were more extenuating than she could have imagined, was the hardest thing she'd considered doing. Regardless of the fact that Helga knew Arnold was kind and patient and compassionate, she anguished at the thought of his reaction. She couldn't expect him to feel the same way about her. Part of her didn't feel that she deserved it, especially not from him. Perhaps that contributed to why she ferociously guarded her secret. It was her security, her muse, her purpose. The idea of a future with Arnold gave her something to hold onto when everything else seemed hopeless. The idea that someone who could be kind and loving and considerate, so unlike what she'd always known in her life, could love her, want her. Holding onto this hope was the crutch she used to get herself through when she felt alone. The idea of losing that hope felt like a wave's powerful weight coming down on her and knocking the wind out of her chest.

"We're here," Arnold said, jolting Helga out of her thoughts as he turned the engine off.

"Wha-what?" Helga jumped as she got her bearings. "Oh, school,"

"Yeah," Arnold said, eyeing her suspiciously but smirking. "Did you have somewhere else you needed to be?"

"Don't get snarky, Football-head," Helga rolled her eyes and grabbed her bag as she crawled out of the car.

"I learned from the best," Arnold teased as he locked the car up, offering Helga a half-smile and inducing a slight blush from her.

"Yeah, yeah," Helga mumbled and stuffed her hands into her pockets. "Let's just get to class. Okay with _you?_"

Arnold put his hands up, indicating he would not protest, and the two of them left the parking lot and headed toward the main entrance.

. . . . . . . .

The science presentations went over well. Each pairing got up and explained what they did and why they chose that particular experiment. Then they discussed their materials and how they were used, the results they found, and the implications of those results.

Helga was in a mild daze when she sat back down. As they finished their presentation and the class offered their obligatory applause, Arnold had winked at her before heading over to his bench across the aisle. So when Sid and Lila gave their presentation, Helga could barely care. Why should she? It wasn't like Lila was a threat to her anymore, especially considering the googley eyes Sid was making at her. Lila explained most of their project with a demure eloquence and when Sid's turns to speak came, he clunked his way through them, sweating and laughing nervously, eyes darting from his paper to Lila to the class and back.

After class, Helga noticed a figure appear in her peripheral vision as she packed up her belongings.

"Hey," Arnold said when she turned to look up at him.

"Hey," Helga said, shoving her binder into her backpack.

Arnold rubbed the back of his neck. Why did he look nervous? "I just wanted to say um, thanks,"

Helga raised an eyebrow and threw her backpack over one shoulder. "Thanks?"

"You know," Arnold shrugged. "We worked really well together and we got along. I had a… uhh," Arnold's face contorted with thought. "It was really nice," He said simply, letting his shoulders fall and his lips turned up at the corners in a small smile.

Helga's heart did a small bounce and she paused to think on her words. "Yeah. Uhh, no problem," Helga shifted her weight to one foot, avoiding Arnold's gaze. "You know, Arnold," She said quietly, looking up to watch the remainder of their classmates leave the room. "I-I've been wanting to tell you something,"

Arnold's head tilted thoughtfully. "Yeah? What is it?"

"Well, I—"

"Arnold!" Sid called into the room in a desperate, hushed tone and Helga groaned.

Arnold turned around. "What, Sid?"

Sid dramatically motioned for Arnold to approach as he looked up and down the hall. "Come here! Quick, I need your help, man,"

Helga's heart was still pounding steadily in her chest even though she felt like a deflated balloon. Arnold shrugged and turned to her. "Tell me later? I'm sorry,"

Helga pretended to shrug it off. "Pfft. Yeah, no sweat. It's not a big deal…"

"Thanks, Helga," Arnold said and moved toward the exit where Sid was waiting impatiently. "See ya later,"

Helga gave a mock-salute and sighed as she fell back into her seat. Outside in the hall she could hear Sid whisper _'Dude, she's coming, what do I do?' _in a hysterical voice that was trying to be calm but mostly failing.

Helga needed a plan. The desire to tell Arnold about her feelings was a dull ache in her chest that radiated outward the closer she got to him. As much as she wanted to tell him though, there was always that fear. That damn fear. Still, she could feel herself becoming more comfortable every time they hung out or talked and nothing terrible happened. Would that change now that they were finished with their project? No, there was still spring break next week. She could try and spend time with him there. But how exactly? It had to be right.

The bell was going to ring soon and Helga only had a couple more minutes to get to her next class before she'd be late. She stopped short just inside the doorway when she heard a couple voices just around the edge of the doorframe.

"So, uhh, yeah… I just thought…" Sid was stammering in the voice he used when he was flustered. The one that had the tendency to go up an octave higher than usual.

"Yes, Sid?" Lila said sweetly.

Helga paused, content with a moment of eavesdropping. If she was late to class, so be it. The awkwardness emanating from Sid's voice indicated this was something worth hearing out.

"Well, uhh," Sid continued nervously. "I was thinkin' if you weren't doin' anything this Friday maybe we could go to a movie. Or ice cream. Or-or we could get dinner. Or both? I mean, if you want both. I mean—"

"Sid," Lila cut him off, her voice warm and kind. "I'm certain I would have ever so much fun hanging out with you this Friday,"

"Really?" Sid squeaked then cleared his throat. "Oh, uh, I mean, great. That sounds great. I'll uhh, see you then? Wait, no, I could walk you to class?"

Lila giggled. "That would be lovely,"

When she couldn't hear anymore conversation, Helga stepped out into the hallway. Lila and Sid were now several feet up the hallway and Sid was carrying Lila's backpack over one shoulder in addition to his own.

Helga slowly grinned. "So Sid's putting the moves on Lila, huh?" Feeling pretty pleased with herself, Helga quickly started on her way to her next class. "I couldn't have planned that better if I tried,"

**March 12****th**

For the next two days, Helga didn't really talk to or see Arnold outside of the lunchroom and passing by in the hallway. She contemplated excuses she could make to see or spend time with him. Just the night before she'd sat staring at her phone trying to think of a reason to text him that wouldn't sound desperate or weird.

As she sat in Mr. Hines' science class Thursday morning, she tapped her foot absent-mindedly, her thoughts elsewhere.

_I should've offered to tutor him in poetry. _Helga thought to herself. _That would have been a golden opportunity. Perfect excuse to spend more time together! Except… well, what if he wanted to see some of _my _poetry? Ohhh hell no. And what if he also spent the whole time thinking about what I told him at FTI? About the poetry… about him? No, no, that wouldn't work. But, I mean… damnit, I've gotta tell him anyway. In a less psychotic, sexually harassing kind of way… Ugh, he probably already turned that assignment in anyway so what's the use?_

Suddenly a buzzing in Helga's jacket pocket caught her attention and she discreetly slipped her hand inside to still the device. When Mr. Hines' back was turned, she quickly pulled the phone out to see a little envelope and the words **NEW MESSAGE: Arnold.**

Helga's heart did a little flip and she darted a glance over at Arnold. He was looking down at his notebook but she could see that his phone was in his hand in his lap. Helga bit her lip to control an involuntary smile as she opened the text message.

**My band is playing at an open mic night on Saturday. Want to come?**

Helga felt a flutter in her chest and she breathed in deeply, exhaling slowly to keep her cool as she responded.

**Sure, I don't think anything's going on that night.**

_Great, play it cool. _Helga mentally praised herself. She looked over at Arnold to see him notice his phone buzzing. She watched him from the corner of her eye as he typed something on his phone, glancing up occasionally to make sure Mr. Hines hadn't noticed. Helga looked down at her phone just as the new message arrived.

**Awesome. It starts at 8 at the karaoke place by PS 118.**

**Sounds good. Hey, shouldn't you be paying attention, Mr. Goodie Two Shoes? :P**

As she watched the message send, Helga felt panicky. _Was the face too much? I shouldn't have sent that. What if he thinks I'm flirting? What does that face even mean? Oh man, I probably look like a dope. Why did I send that face? Is there some way I can delete it before he gets it? DAMNIT! He just read my message, I know it. I can't even look. I'm just gonna pretend nothing's going on. Yup. Nothing is wrong. Everything's fine. Everything's – HE RESPONDED ALREADY._

**Ha. Ha. ;)**

_What?! Wink face? Why would he wink at me? Well, he didn't actually wink at me. Well, he has before. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? Is _he _flirting with _me? _No, that doesn't make sense. He's being… he's being… Oh god, I don't even know. But winks are good, right? Yes, winks are good. Unless it's like, a hitman winking to his client that 'Yes, I have successfully killed your brother in law, sir.' But Arnold's not a hitman and I didn't ask him – what the hell am I even thinking about right now? Okay. It was just a wink face. I really need to stop getting worked up over these things. I'm just… just gonna leave this conversation where it is. If I say anything else he might think I'm too desperate so, okay. Gonna pay attention now… to… whatever the hell Mr. Hines is writing on the board. Criminy, I'm freakin' losin' it._

_. . . . . . . ._

**March 14****th**

Helga had been counting down the hours until it was time to head to Kenji's Karaoke Bar. She'd spent the whole day trying to think of a good way to get some more alone time with Arnold without being completely obvious. If she could just get him alone and the moment was _just _right, she'd be ready to tell him how she felt. That's what she kept telling herself at least. It was a different story when she actually _was _alone with him and the idea of calmly confessing her secret seemed like the most terrifying thing in the world. She had wondered if there was some way to keep Arnold from getting attacked so that he lived and she wouldn't have to tell him her secret yet. Despite all the years that had gone by, she still didn't feel… _ready. _But this was the primary point of contention with her and she fought with herself every day over how to tell him, _when _to tell him, _how _to say it… Every idea seemed wrong. And the good ideas just left her feeling exposed and nervous even if she never spoke her secret aloud.

The sun had already set by the time Helga was walking to the karaoke bar. She studied her feet and the chips and cracks in the sidewalk as she followed the familiar path to PS 118. The karaoke bar was almost right across the street from her former school. The light from a streetlamp right outside the club combined with the light coming from the windows of the venue, illuminating the unfamiliar figures of people outside leaning against the brick building and smoking. Helga could hear the commotion of people inside talking and laughing as she drew closer.

"Helga, hey!" Phoebe came out the door just as Helga was only a few feet away from the entrance. "I was going to call you and see if you were still coming,"

"Yup, I'm here," Helga said, stuffing her hands into her jacket pockets. The temperatures during the day had been comfortable, hovering around the lower 70's but after the sun went down, it had dropped into the mid 50's. "Did I miss anything?"

"Oh no," Phoebe shook her head, placing her hand on the door, poised to lead the way back inside. "The guys are going to be playing soon but they just started getting their instruments set up on stage so you're just in time," She smiled, then her eyes flashed with mischief and her smile turned into a smirk. "Arnold was asking about you,"

Helga stopped in her tracks, her eyes bulged. "He _what?_"

Phoebe giggled. "He asked me if I knew where you were and if you were still coming,"

"What did you say?" Helga asked, her muscles tense and her heart fluttering.

"I said I wasn't sure but that I'd call you," Phoebe replied. "That's right before I came out here and saw you approaching,"

Helga looked through the glass paneled door to the venue. The lights were low so most of what she saw was shadow but the stage was illuminated and Harold was up there getting his drums set up. A guy whom Helga could only assume was a staff member was helping Harold arrange the pieces to his kit. A moment later, Arnold could be seen walking up the steps to the stage carrying a drum stand. Helga's heart flipped and she took a breath. Even if she was flipping out on the inside, she had to maintain composure on the outside.

"Are you ready to go in?" Phoebe coaxed Helga out of her daze.

"Oh, um, yeah," Helga nodded slowly and the two girls walked inside.

There was a bar just inside the entrance and to the right of the door with shelves of alcohol lined up neatly.

"ID?" A man with a beard, one eyebrow pierced, and a variety of tattoos up and down his arms sat on a stool right by the door. He held a black magic marker in one hand as he waited for Helga to respond.

"Oh, um," Helga said, startled by the guy since she hadn't noticed him when she first walked in. Her eyes had been scanning the crowd since Arnold left the stage. "I'm sixteen,"

The man drew X's on each of Helga's hands to indicate she couldn't be served alcohol and checked Phoebe's hands before the two of them moved away from the door and down two steps that separated the front edge of the venue from the rest of the room. Over to the right next to the bar area was a small grill and there were small round tables scattered around the room. Dozens of people packed the room, some of them carrying small plastic cups of beer and almost all of them yell-talking so they could hear each other over the crowd.

"I don't remember this place being so popular," Helga commented as a girl with intense black eye make-up and a short pixie cut brushed past them.

"My parents used to come here shortly after they opened," Phoebe's normally soft voice became higher in pitch as she yelled to communicate. "I presume business simply took off for them. They opened the venue up to band shows and open mic nights, so it certainly makes sense!"

Helga simply nodded, her focus drifting back to looking for Arnold. She found him up on stage with Gerald, Sid, and Harold, each of them preparing their instruments. Arnold didn't have much to do other than adjust his mic and wait.

Helga and Phoebe maneuvered their way through the crowd to try and get a little closer to the stage just as someone tapped both of them on their shoulders.

"Hi, Helga! Hi, Phoebe!" Lila greeted them sweetly, albeit in a loud voice so she would be audible.

_Oh criminy… _Helga groaned inwardly.

"Hi, Lila," Phoebe leaned closer to Lila so she wouldn't have to strain to yell quite so loud. "I didn't know you would be in attendance tonight,"

"Yeah, Sid told me about the show and—"

At this, Helga's frown morphed into a devilishly elated grin. "That's right!" Helga put her arm over Lila's shoulders. "So you and Sid are a thing now, huh?"

Lila blushed. "Well, I suppose you could say something like that. He and I went out together yesterday and he's just ever so sweet. I—"

"That's great, Lila," Helga cut her off. "Really. You and Sid? _Perfect _match. Couldn't have arranged it better myself," She smirked.

"Gosh, Helga," Lila placed a hand to her chest. "What an ever so kind thing for you to say,"

"Don't mention it," Helga waved her off and turned back toward the stage. The guys were doing a quick sound check and the sound of Arnold's voice over the microphone quickly diverted her attention.

"Umm," Arnold said awkwardly into the microphone, one hand holding his guitar against him, secured by its strap. "Check? One, two, three. Check… check…"

The three girls snagged a small table close to the front that had recently been abandoned and waited for the guys to begin their set. Lila and Phoebe started to chat about the venue and other people who would be performing that night but Helga quickly fell into a daze.

Arnold was wearing a simple pair of jeans, a dark green T-shirt and a unbuttoned plaid shirt overtop of it, reminiscent of his style when they were kids. Oh, how she wished she hadn't been such a fool all these years. Why had she wasted so much time over the years? Of course she knew why. But in some precious moments, none of it seemed to matter. As she watched Arnold up on the stage, the rest of the world seemed to still and it was like it was only the two of them. A dopey smile on Helga's face and Arnold's unruly, pale yellow hair reflecting the bright lights shining down on the stage.

"Hi everyone," Arnold spoke into the microphone. "Our first song is gonna be a cover of 'Your Guardian Angel' by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus,"

The crowd grew quiet as Arnold began to play his guitar. Harold, Sid, and Gerald waited patiently for their cues to come in and Helga watched in anticipation as Arnold leaned in to the microphone stand. He quickly looked around the room and when he glanced down and saw the girls at the table right in front of him, he smiled then looked out as he sang with Gerald backing up his vocals.

"When I see your smile, tears roll down my face I can't replace. And now that I'm strong I have figured out how this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul and I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one,"

The sound of Arnold's voice sent a shiver down Helga's spine. Something about it was so warm and inviting. She imagined the words Arnold sang being dipped in honey and gently filling the room.

"I will never let you fall; I'll stand up with you forever. I'll be there for you through it all, even if saving you sends me to heaven," Helga bit her lip. The toasty, comfortable sensation she'd felt upon first hearing Arnold was disrupted by a cold chill at those lyrics.

_Even if saving you sends me to heaven…_

And from that point on, Helga's lovesick swooning sobered into a peculiar state of somberness and anxiety.

"It's okay. It's okay. It's okay," Arnold sang softly. _No, it's not. It's not okay. _Helga's panicky internal voice whimpered. "Seasons are changing and waves are crashing and stars are falling all for us. Days grow longer and nights grow shorter. I can show you I'll be the one,"

_I can't do this. _Helga cried out in her head as she maintained an impeccable poker face. _I can't do this. Arnold, you can't die. I don't wanna lose you again. _The sight of Arnold lying in his casket flashed across Helga's memory. The gentle stillness of his face, lacking the spirit that made him who he was. Instead, an empty shell in front of her. Her beloved, gone. Leaving this world believing she couldn't stand him. Helga felt her eyes trying to water but she blinked and took a few discreet, steadying breaths to get a grip of herself.

"I will never let you fall; I'll stand up with you forever. I'll be there for you through it all, even if saving you sends me to heaven,"

That line repeated and Helga bit her lip harder to distract herself from the geyser of anxiety, mourning, and regret that bubbled beneath the surface.

By this point, Arnold was getting more comfortable on stage and starting to look around more. Helga wasn't sure if it was her imagination playing tricks on her or not, but it seemed that Arnold was making eye contact with her more than she would have expected. She brushed it off as coincidence but something inside her wondered if there was something more poignant to it.

"'Cause you're my… you're my… my, my true love, my whole heart; Please don't throw that away. 'Cause I'm here for you. Please don't walk away and please tell me you'll stay,"

At this point, the rest of the band finally came in and the people in the crowd started bobbing their heads to the rhythm. Helga looked around her table and Lila and Phoebe were smiling up at the guys. She was alone in her anguish and part of her reveled in hearing Arnold sing while another part wanted to cry.

"Use me as you will, pull my strings just for a thrill. And I know I'll be okay, though my skies are turning grey," Arnold sang, bobbing his own head with the music. He was clearly enjoying himself. In some recess of Helga's mind, she noticed Arnold look over at her at the part about 'pulling his strings' but that wasn't at the forefront of her attention right now.

Helga took a deep breath and crossed her arms, leaning back against the metal backing of her chair. She was trying not to think about the past. The way she'd treated Arnold for so many years, the lost time spent in denial and anger, the lies and schemes, the way her heart turned grey and brittle when she learned of Arnold's death.

"I will never let you fall; I'll stand up with you forever. I'll be there for you through it all, even if saving you sends me to heaven,"

As the song faded out indicating its end, the crowd applauded and cheered for the guys as their final notes rang out from the speakers on either side of the stage.

"That was so impressive!" Phoebe beamed as she clapped and Lila nodded enthusiastically, sticking two fingers in her mouth to whistle. Helga, not wanting to look sour, clapped and faked a smile as best she could.

Phoebe caught Gerald's eye and the two of them waved at one another. Arnold took that opportunity to look back over at Helga and mouth a 'Hey' to her. Helga shook herself of the painful thoughts and memories that were tormenting her at the moment long enough for a genuine, involuntary smile to emerge at the attention.

Eventually by the time the guys had played two more songs and were moving their stuff off the stage, Helga had finally relaxed. She watched as Arnold, Sid, and Gerald set their instruments down somewhere to the side of the stage and went back to help Harold carry the pieces of his drum set down.

Helga wanted to say something to Arnold. About how great his singing was, how impressed she was at their set, about any of the things that had made her swoon that night or had ever brought a flutter to her heart, all leading up to the most significant of all things that she could tell him that dared not to cross her lips, though she willed it.

But there were too many people in here. As the night drew on, even more had trickled in and hovered around in the back. No, she had to get Arnold alone. Something about the music and Arnold's voice and the wild, carefree antics of the people around her gave her a high that compelled her to tell him. She couldn't lose him again but if by some cruel fate it was destined, she couldn't let him believe any of the terrible things she'd worked so hard to convey over the years.

Sid and Gerald came over immediately to talk to Lila and Phoebe while Arnold helped Harold carry his instrument pieces out the backdoor where Harold's dad was waiting in a van.

"What'd ya think of the show, babe?" Gerald asked, draping an arm over Phoebe's shoulders.

"I knew it would be a success," Phoebe smiled warmly and Gerald kissed her on the lips.

"On that note," Helga said. "I'm gonna get a drink," She stood up and walked over to the bar, pushing past a few men and women who were of legal age. "Yahoo soda," She ordered the bartender and he rolled his eyes, filling a plastic cup with ice and using a hose to squirt the carbonated beverage into it.

Helga dropped a few bucks on the bar and turned around just as Arnold appeared in front of her, the two of them colliding and splashing both their shirts with the sticky, sugary drink.

"Crap!" Helga exclaimed, then noticed who she'd bumped into. "Arnold!"

"Aw man, Helga, I'm sorry," Arnold said, already grabbing a few napkins from a pile sitting on the bar. "Here," He offered most of them to her. "I thought you saw me," He said as he patted at his shirt with a napkin.

Helga, more stunned than anything, just shook her head as she wiped at her shirt. "No, it's whatever, Football-head,"

"Could we get another Yahoo soda, please?" Arnold asked the bartender, pulling his wallet out of his back pocket.

"Arnold, you don't have to do that," Helga said, putting a hand on the arm reaching out to pay for the replacement drink without even thinking about what she was doing.

"It's okay, Helga," Arnold let her hand fall off of him and gave the money to the bartender in exchange for the new drink. "I want to," He handed her the cup and stepped in front of her.

Helga felt her cheeks flush hot and she struggled to find the words she wanted. "Um, okay," She said dumbly, then a beat later said, "You guys sounded pretty good ,"

Arnold quirked his head, as if pleasantly surprised. "Thanks," He smiled. "I'm glad. I felt like I went flat a few times. It's not easy playing guitar and singing at the same time and once the rest of the guys came in, I couldn't really hear myself singing anymore so I wasn't sure,"

Helga just nodded and awkwardly sipped at her drink, her nervousness mounting as usual. "Yeah…"

"So apparently Phoebe told Gerald that you're staying with her and her family at the beachhouse for spring break?" Arnold changed the subject and Helga happily went along with it.

"Oh, yeah," She nodded, taking another sip of her soda. "Yeah she uhh, she wouldn't stop bugging me and I didn't have any other plans, so… you know… heh…"

"Well, I think it's cool," Arnold grinned. "Remember the last time we were there and we won that sandcastle competition?"

"Pfft," Helga laughed, her nerves settling. "Doi. And that bimbo, Summer,"

Arnold winced. "Oh yeah, I forgot about her,"

"You did?" Helga said, taken aback.

Arnold shrugged. "I guess so," He laughed. "Anyway, I think it'll be fun. I'm glad you're coming,"

"Y-you are?" Helga felt the hair on her arms standing up and though her muscles tensed, she tried not to grip her plastic cup so tightly that it would bend and crack from the pressure.

"Yeah," Arnold smiled but even in the dim lighting, Helga could make out the faintest hint of a blush. "I don't know what's changed but you've been acting different lately and…"

"And…?"

"And, well…" Arnold rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged. "I like it. When you're, ya know, being nice,"

Helga bit the inside of her lip and brought her cup up to finish off the rest of her soda. "That's… th-that's good," She gulped down the last sip of her soda and let out an exaggerated 'Ahhh'. "Damn, that's good. The uhh, the drink," She said, pointedly holding up her now-empty plastic cup and immediately wanted to smack herself for sounding like a buffoon but Arnold just laughed.

"Yeah," He said, smiling. "Well, we should go back to the table and watch whoever's playing next,"

"Okay," Helga said, setting her cup up on the bar and blindly following Arnold back over to where their friends were congregated.

How was it that this guy could inspire beautiful poetic soliloquies and sonnets yet leave her a blabbering idiot with a stunted vocabulary sometimes? Either way, he seemed pleased with the idea that she'd be staying in the other half of the same duplex he was renting this upcoming week so that had to be a good omen. All she needed to do was work up the courage to tell him her true feelings.

It seemed that simple. But in the back of her mind, she also prayed that she wouldn't have to say goodbye.

**[A/N: There was going to be another part at the end of this chapter but I decided to end it here because 1)It was already pretty long and 2)I'm exhausted and wanted to finish and give you guys something to read lol So we'll pick that other part up in the next chapter :) I'll try and get another one out before my break is over. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and of course, please let me know what you think!]**


	7. Chapter 7

**[A/N: Hey guys! So today is my first day back to school so I may not be able to update again for some time but I'll try my best! I think there will only be another 2 or 3 chapters and I know what's gonna do down so woohoo! Hopefully I can get the story finished soon because I'M JUST SO EXCITED AHHHHH. Ahem... Anyway, I hope you like this next segment and please let me know what you think! ^_^**

**I don't own Hey Arnold]**

**March 15****th**

The drive to the beach with Phoebe's family was pretty boring. Phoebe's parents listened to books on tape in the car and Phoebe fell asleep for close to an hour so Helga spent most of the trip looking out the window and daydreaming.

Memories from last night still danced around in her mind. The velvety sound of Arnold's voice, his goofy half-lidded smile and the way her skin prickled and her pulse quickened when he said her name. Helga was suddenly struck with a sense of de ja vu. She remembered Phoebe talking about a similar event before – when Arnold and Lila had been together. It must have been the same night… Phoebe had suggested that Helga come along but the thought of seeing Arnold and Lila together and gushing over one another was more than enough reason for Helga to avoid the event altogether. It was hard to wrap her mind around how much was different in only a short few weeks.

Arnold was actually looking forward to hanging out during spring break which, quite frankly, was a surprise to Helga. The last time they'd come to this beach, he wanted nothing to do with her for most of the time they were there. Now it almost seemed like he _wanted_ to spend time with her…

_This could be a great opportunity. _Helga thought to herself. _Away from a lot of people at school – well, except for the guys he's staying with, but it's still better than being at school. There will be plenty of time to arrange something so we can finally be alone and I can confess this secret I've so long and painfully harbored… And this time I'll do it right. No crazy word-vomit, I won't grab him and force myself on him… Just, relaxed and… and honest. Yeah, honest. That sounds good. _

Time was slipping quickly through its hourglass and Helga knew it, although she tried not to think about it. One week from tomorrow would mark the day that Arnold was killed. But surely enough had changed since this whole crazy twist of time had happened, right? He wasn't dating Lila and the whole reason he was in that stinking alley in the first place was because he had been walking Ms. Perfect home. Still, Helga worried. First and foremost she needed to tell him how she felt. And if there was a way she could keep him from getting hurt then maybe everything could be okay?

Helga came out of her daydreaming when they pulled into a rest stop. Phoebe's dad pulled up to a gas pump and Phoebe stirred.

"Almost there, sugar," Phoebe's mom directed to her daughter as she turned around in the passenger seat. "Either of you two want somethin' to eat while we're here?"

Helga looked at the big building across the lot from the gas pumps. Immediately inside looked to be some sort of convenience store but it led into a larger section of the building that resembled some sort of rest stop mall. There was a sign outside with the logos of several fast food chains and shops depicted on it.

"I'm alright," Helga said, lazily laying her head back against the seat.

"I suppose I could go for a snack," Phoebe said, yawning and unbuckling her seatbelt. "You sure you don't want anything, Helga?" Phoebe asked as she and her mom exited the car.

Helga shook her head and Phoebe shrugged before closing the car door and heading toward the entrance.

For a moment, Helga let her mind wander once again, recalling every sweet detail of the night before, lest the memory fade from disuse. However, it wasn't long before Helga caught sight of bright yellow from the corner of her eye and looked out to see Arnold, Gerald, Harold, Sid, and Stinky walking toward the building entrance.

"Arnold!" Helga exclaimed in the empty car. "What are the chances…" She muttered to herself before, a beat later, hurrying out of the car and casually heading toward the doors.

A bell went off when Helga walked in and she averted her eyes, trying to remain as nonchalant as possible. Of course she was in here because she wanted something. It had nothing to do with checking out her football-headed beloved. Nothing at all…

The guys were over at the fridge section picking out drinks as Helga perused the junk food aisle, peeking over the top shelves to watch them. She couldn't make out what they were saying but it seemed to just be trivial guy chatter interspersed with laughter.

"I thought you didn't want anything?" Phoebe's voice came from behind Helga and she practically jumped out of her skin.

"_Criminy_, Pheobe! Don't sneak up on me like that!" Helga snapped.

"Helga?" Arnold came around the corner of the aisle. "Oh, hey Phoebe," He greeted when he saw her standing next to Helga. "Wow, what a coincidence we'd all stop here at the same time, huh?"

"Yes, it is rather intriguing," Phoebe responded kindly, allowing Helga to calm down from her near-heart attack. "Well, I suppose I should go pay for these," Phoebe said, looking down at the ready-to-go deli wrap and iced tea in her hands. "See you later, Arnold,"

Arnold gave a small wave then looked back to Helga who was muttering to herself. "You okay, Helga?"

"What, me?" Helga said, snapping to attention. "Oh yeah, I'm fine. I just… I just… needed some uhh, some pork rinds," She said, grabbing a bag from one of the shelves. "So good," She said with some exaggeration then chuckled awkwardly.

Arnold nodded and looked over to see the rest of the guys heading to the cash register. "Guess I should hurry up and pay for my stuff, too," He said, a sports drink and a bag of BBQ-flavored sunflower seeds in his hands.

"Yeah," Helga said blankly and followed him to the counter.

"I thought you didn't want anything," Phoebe stood on tiptoes and whispered in Helga's ear, smirking all the while.

"Shut up," Helga said under her breath, making a face to which Phoebe only giggled.

"I guess I'll see you at the beachhouse," Arnold smiled at Helga as everyone was heading back outside and to their respective vehicles.

Helga, feeling awkward and tense since she wanted to be nice to Arnold but she was still within earshot of his friends, nodded and mumbled, "See ya, Football-head,"

Phoebe and Gerald shared a smooch and as the guys walked over to their car, Helga could see Gerald lean toward Arnold and say something before looking back in her direction. Helga quickly looked away and power-walked over to the car where Phoebe was already opening her door.

_I just want you to know who I am…_

_I just want you to know who I am…_

_I just want you to know who I am…_

Helga quirked her head as the familiar song faded out on the radio and was replaced by the radio host's chatter.

"Pork rinds?" Phoebe raised an eyebrow as she buckled into her seat and laughed a little when she noticed the bag in her friend's hands.

"Yeah," Helga said defensively, crossing her arms. "Something _wrong _with that?"

"Oh no, Helga," Phoebe smiled knowingly. "We just wouldn't want you sleepwalking again tonight, would we?" She smirked. "Considering a certain person's proximity for the next week,"

_I hadn't even thought of that. Damn this delicious snack of doom. _Helga thought to herself, eyeing the bag.

As they pulled out onto the road again, Helga's thoughts wandered back to the peculiar way Gerald had looked at her at the rest stop.

"Hey Pheebs," Helga said in a hushed tone so her parents hopefully wouldn't hear over the radio. "Does Gerald know about… you know?"

Phoebe's brow furrowed in consideration. "I don't believe he does, Helga. Not to my knowledge, at least,"

"Hmm," Helga said, leaning back against her seat and looking out the window for a moment before turning back to Phoebe. "Okay…"

"When do you intend to tell Arnold about your feelings?" Phoebe inquired.

Helga stopped herself from the automatic instinct that always shouted 'Deny, deny, deny!' and said in a soft voice, "Soon… sometime soon," She sighed.

. . . . . . . .

They finally arrived at the beach house about an hour later as the mid-day sun was beginning its descent into the early afternoon. The old beach house was just as Helga remembered it. Functional, but not anything special to look at. It was a duplex with a connecting porch in the front that wrapped around part of the sides and two smaller porches in the back that led up to a back entrance. As their car approached the house, Helga noticed that the guys had already arrived and were parked outside the section of the duplex that Arnold's grandparents had rented when they were in fourth grade. As Phoebe's dad drove past them and around to the other side of the house, Helga tried to settle the rush of adrenaline that had suddenly spiked inside her upon seeing Arnold carrying a suitcase up the back steps.

_Okay, this is it. This next week I am going to find a way to tell Arnold everything. It's gonna be great. _Helga thought, partly trying to convince herself.

The four of them got out of the car and started unloading, taking their belongings into the house. Some of the furniture had been rearranged but it was mostly how Helga remembered everything being. There was a large sitting room/dining room that led out to the front porch and just inside the back door was the kitchen area with a door that led to a small closet for the washer and dryer. Between the main room and the kitchen was a staircase that led up to a small hallway, just wide enough to turn around in, with two doors, each leading up to a bedroom. Overall, the house was somewhat plainly decorated but the theme, even if subtle, was beach-esque with lots of shells, sailboats, and other nautical references.

Helga and Phoebe would be staying in the larger of the two rooms since it had two twin beds while Phoebe's parents would share a double bed in the room Helga had stayed in as a kid. As the girls were unpacking their things in the room, Helga contemplated how she would arrange time to spend with Arnold and eventually confess to him.

"So, what's your plan?" Phoebe asked before Helga even had a chance to mull things over. She was carefully removing her clothes from her suitcase and placing them in the small dresser by her bed.

Helga pulled a bag of toiletries out of her suitcase. "I don't really have one yet," Helga said. "The basics, you know. Spend time with Arnold, talk to him and be nice, confess my adoring love to him…"

Phoebe turned around and faced Helga. "Just be yourself, Helga," She smiled. "In my opinion, that's the best course of action. If what you said about this… second chance… if that's all true, then don't let your fear paralyze you,"

Helga sighed and smiled as she pulled a light jacket out of her suitcase and rested it on the bed next to some of her other belongings. "What would I do without you, Pheebs?"

"Well, I'm certain you wouldn't be here right now," Phoebe smiled then continued unpacking. "My parents intend to take some time during this week to visit with family that lives on the other side of town. Just so you know, you're more than welcome to accompany us or stay here on your own – whichever you prefer,"

Helga nodded. "That's cool,"

Despite Phoebe's welcoming offer, there was no reason for Helga to be anywhere but the beach house this week. She wanted to stay as close to Arnold as she could and going to meet some of Phoebe's relatives that she didn't even know? Well, aside from that being somewhat awkward, there wasn't really an incentive there. The closer she was to Arnold, the more time and opportunity she'd have to finally confess her secret.

. . . . . . . .

Later that night after dinner, Helga was out on the front porch, leaning against the rail with a glass of sweet tea Phoebe's mom had made earlier. She had a perfect view of the beach and even though it was dark, she could still see the moon's reflection out on the water, waves rolling and crashing with the tide. The sand shimmered in the moonlight and the night was quiet. During the daytime, tourists flocked to the beach and the sounds of people yelling, seagulls cawing, and bike bells chiming was all you really heard. In the gentle stillness of nightfall, Helga allowed the relaxing sounds of the water to fill her ears, the crisp, salty scent of the sea to fill her nose and bring back a sense of nostalgia she didn't realize was there. She swirled the ice cubes in her glass and sighed just as she heard the doors on the other side of the duplex close.

"Oh, hey Helga," Arnold greeted her and, upon noticing he wasn't the only one out on the porch, walked over to her. "Whacha doin'?"

"Brain surgery," Helga replied sarcastically and Arnold rolled his eyes. He was about to turn around when she added, "Just thinking…"

"Thinking? About what?" He gently inquired as he moved closer to her and leaned against the rail alongside her.

Helga sighed and took a sip of her tea but didn't respond. She couldn't tell him she was thinking about _him. _Not yet at least. And even still, she could never reveal that aside from pondering the best way to express her love for him, she was also plagued by memories and fears of losing him.

Arnold took the hint and sighed, turning to face the moon. "It's so peaceful out here at night," He said softly.

"Yeah," Helga murmured, her gaze distant and contemplative.

"Helga, you know…" Arnold said, turning his head to look at her once again even as her eyes studied the stars. "I hope this goes without saying but… well, you can always talk to me about stuff… Y'know, if you need to…"

"I'm okay, Arnold," Helga gave a half smile, looking at him briefly, then locking her gaze onto the rim of her glass.

"Well… and this is gonna sound really dumb, I know… but, it's just that well, you've been kinda… nice to me lately," He said, fidgeting with his hands. "I'm just a little confused, I guess? Maybe not confused but umm, lately you haven't been torturing me as much as you did before and I just… I hope everything's okay, I guess,"

These words caused something to well up in Helga and she fought the urge to become emotional.

_Everything is not okay, Arnold. _She whimpered in her head. _It hasn't been okay since the day I found out you died and now I don't even know if I can stop it from happening again. _

"I'm fine," Helga said quietly and crossed her arms over the rail, her glass dangling in one hand over the ground below.

"Okay," Arnold said after a moment, not fully convinced but willing to give her space. He started to move away from the rail when Helga spoke.

"I-," She said, catching his attention with that soft voice he rarely had the opportunity to hear from her. "I-I…" Her voice grew quiet and wistful. "I never hated you, Arnold,"

Arnold pursed his lips and nodded, even though she wasn't looking at him. "I didn't think you did," He shrugged and moved toward her again. "I just couldn't understand why—"

"Hey Arnold!" Harold suddenly threw open the front doors to the guys' side of the house. "C'mon, the pizza guy is here!"

"I'll be right there!" Arnold called and Harold raised an eyebrow at the sight of Arnold and Helga hanging out together on the porch alone but shrugged and went back inside.

Helga sighed and turned her back to the rail, leaning against it and taking a sip of her tea.

"Do you want some pizza?" Arnold offered and Helga shook her head.

"Phoebe's mom already made dinner for us," She said, then grinned slightly. "Raincheck?"

"Sure," Arnold smiled. "Goodnight, Helga," He said as he headed to his door.

"See ya around, Football-head," She smirked as she pulled open her own front door and disappeared inside.

. . . . . . . .

**March 16th**

The following morning, Helga awoke with rays of warm, golden light shining in through the window onto her face. Phoebe was already awake and dressed, quietly bustling around their room and getting herself ready for the day.

Phoebe noticed Helga's one eye cracking open. "Good morning, Helga," She greeted in a soft but chipper voice.

Helga groaned and pulled her pillow over her head to shield her eyes from the sun.

"The weather forecast says it's supposed to be a moderate day with high's in the low 70's and plenty of sun," Phoebe said as she brushed her hair and then dropped the brush into a large beach bag. "My parents and I are going to the boardwalk and you're welcome to come,"

Helga rolled over and removed the pillow from her face as she yawned. "No boardwalk,"

Phoebe nodded and shrugged at the same time, then smirked. "Very well. I'm sure you'd much rather spend your time at the beach today anyway. I believe the guys have placed that as first on their itinerary for the day,"

Now Helga was awake. She stretched and pushed the blanket off of her. "Well, I might as well get up anyway. I mean, I can't stay in bed all day, right? This is a vacation!" She exclaimed as she sat up.

Phoebe grinned. "Precisely,"

. . . . . . . .

Once Helga had gotten herself dressed and ready to leave, she went out to the front porch and surveyed the beach. Phoebe and her parents had already left about twenty minutes prior and judging by the loud thundering and yelling of the boys, they'd headed to the beach moments after. Helga had a pink striped beach bag slung over one shoulder with her towel, some sunscreen, a couple books, and a water bottle inside. Through her sunglasses she could see Gerald out on the beach with a boogie board. Then she noticed Harold coming in on a wave with a boogie board that seemed too small for his girth. Sid came into focus a moment later as he chatted with Gerald, then the two of them joined Harold in the water.

_Where the heck is that Football-head?" _Helga wondered to herself as she scanned the beach. Then again, what was she going to do when she found him? He was with his friends and she couldn't just mosey up to them and start hanging out. No, it would be too weird. Sure they all used to hang out and play sports together when they were kids but this was different. Besides, Helga didn't even have a boogie board to make that her valid excuse for joining them. No, it had to be more subtle, more clever, more –

The screen door slammed shut as Arnold walked out. "Hey Helga," He smiled and Helga felt a lump drop into her stomach. Arnold was shirtless, carrying a boogie board under one arm and a red and white striped towel over his shoulder. He had sunglasses perched atop his head and red plaid swim trunks. Helga bit the insides of her cheeks in the vain attempt to conceal her blush.

"Are you coming down to the beach?" He asked and Helga could feel his eyes staring at her which only deepened her blush. She was wearing a pink bikini with a matching beach wrap hugging her at the hips. Her blonde hair was loose – she hadn't bothered to do anything with it since she figured she'd be getting in the water – so it fell in loose waves over her shoulders.

"Um, yeah," Helga managed.

"Where's Phoebe?" Arnold asked, looking around. "Is she down there with Gerald?"

"No, she went to the boardwalk with her folks," Helga said with a little more ease.

Arnold nodded and trotted down the porch steps, turning back around to her. "Well, I was thinking… If you wanted, maybe we could build another sandcastle? For old time's sake," He half-smiled.

Helga struggled to keep her face from completely giving away how ecstatic and giddy she felt in this moment. "Sure, Arnold. Uh, whatever floats your boat…"

"Cool," Arnold's smile widened and he jogged toward his friends.

Helga sighed dreamily and leaned against the porch railing, a lovesick look on her face.

. . . . . . . .

Eventually, once Helga had composed herself, she walked down to the beach a few yards away from the guys so as not to draw suspicion. She walked up to the water's edge and let the waves rush up to meet her. Her breath hitched for a moment at the cold contact and her skin immediately prickled. Rather than move into the water, Helga stood still, contemplating whether it was even worth it. Sure it was a nice day but the water was frigid. Helga watched as the ends of her beach wrap swayed back and forth in the tide. She crossed her arms over her chest to preserve her body heat and eventually decided it was too cold as she trekked back up to where she'd left her bag.

She was spreading her towel out on the sand as a dripping, sandy Arnold approached her.

"What happened to boogie-boarding?" Helga asked nonchalantly, avoiding looking at him as much as she could so she could maintain some semblance of composure.

Arnold shrugged. "It's too cold; we're taking a break," He watched her secure the corners of her towel down with both of her flip flops, a water bottle, and her beach bag. "What are you gonna do?"

"Not freeze," She said and pulled her sunglasses down over her eyes before she sat down on her towel. With her eyes covered, she could check Arnold out and he was none the wiser. There was a damp patch of sand beneath him from the water dripping off of him. His wild hair was now slicked back but still messy and full of sand. He didn't have his sunglasses with him but he had his towel wrapped around his waist.

Arnold watched her movements as she rifled through her bag, as if there was actually something important in there that she wanted. However, no, she just didn't want to look like a dope sitting there and doing nothing while staring up at him in love and adoration. Or something like that.

Arnold's lip curled up in a smirk. "Do you wanna build a sandcastle?"

Helga recognized the slight melody Arnold had added to his statement and played along. "Go away, Arnold,"

"Okay, bye," Arnold said with mock sadness and the two of them chuckled a bit.

"Wonders never cease," Helga shook her head at him. "I didn't peg you for a Frozen fan,"

"Oh, come on, Helga," Arnold rolled his eyes. "Everyone knows that song. It's all over the internet,"

"Right," Helga smiled smugly.

"Really, though," He said. "Do you want to?"

Helga pretended to consider his request for a moment. "Sure, why not,"

The two of them spent the next hour and a half building an elaborate sandcastle that could have given the prize-winning castle from their childhood a run for its money. There were various chambers and towers and each was carefully crafted and sturdy.

"We need something for the top," Helga said as they were putting on the finishing touches.

"It's too bad you don't have your bow," Arnold commented thoughtfully. Up in the sky, grey clouds were steadily rolling in.

"My bow?" Helga raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, remember? We put your bow on top like a flag when we won that contest," Arnold reminded her as he scanned the sand for some sort of rock or shell that would make a suitable replacement.

"Oh yeah," Helga said under her breath, unable to remember why she stopped wearing that bow in the first place.

"Here, this should work," Arnold said upon finding a large, glittering shell that he then placed atop the tallest tower of the sandcastle. "Perfect,"

The two of them admired their work for a moment before Helga plainly said, "Okay, now what?"

"Now," Arnold said, digging into the pocket of his now-dry swim trunks and pulling out a digital camera. "We take a picture of it and then we get something to eat. Are you hungry?" He asked as he turned his camera on.

"Famished," Helga nodded with a blank expression as she watched Arnold snap the photo.

"Then let's go," Arnold smiled at her and returned the camera to his pocket before leading them to a food cart a little ways down the beach.

There were a few other people in line at the food cart and at the very front were Harold and Sid, receiving their orders – two large trays of nachos, a hot dog, and four Mr. Fudgies.

"Hey guys," Arnold waved when the two turned around.

"Hey Arnold," They returned his greeting but did a double-take and Sid raised his eyebrow upon seeing Helga with him.

As the line moved up, Arnold reached for the mini wallet in his back pocket – one of those card and money holders for travelling. "What are you gonna get?" He gently nudged Helga who had been staring up at the menu.

"Hmmm… a hotdog sounds good," She said absent-mindedly, still weighing her options.

They got up to the front of the line and Arnold pulled a few bills out of his money clip.

"Wait, Arnold, what are you doing?" Helga asked incredulously, her eyes wide with surprise.

"I was gonna get it for you, if that's okay?" He shrugged and met her gaze. When she just stared at him dumbly, he spoke to the man inside the truck. "Two hotdogs, please," He turned to Helga. "Do you want anything to drink?"

"Uh, um, a soda," She said, still bewildered.

"And two sodas," Arnold paid the man and then stepped to the side where a woman was placing their food and drinks. There was a small fold out table next to the truck with condiments, napkins, and plastic silverware and Arnold dished some sauerkraut and mustard onto his hotdog then watched Helga prepare her own hotdog.

Rather than wait until they got back to their spot to eat, the two of them hungrily ate their food in a matter of minutes.

"Thanks, Arnold," Helga said, still surprised and mildly gleeful.

"No problem," He smiled but then his expression fell when he noticed the sky. The grey clouds from earlier had finally blocked out the sun, casting the beach in a shadow and bringing about a cold chill to the air. Many people on the beach were packing up their belongings and folding up their umbrellas. "Is it supposed to rain?"

A crack of thunder answered Arnold's question and before Helga had time to make a comment, tiny droplets of rain began to fall, quickly morphing into a dense storm. They were drenched in a matter of seconds.

"C'mon, let's go!" Arnold said, grabbing Helga's hand and pulling her into a run back to their belongings.

They stopped at Arnold's bag first which was almost empty, containing only a couple items, including his flip flops. He grabbed his boogie board and then quickly followed Helga over to her stuff. She rushed to stuff her belongings back into the bag, snatching up her wet towel and hoping her books hadn't gotten wet. Arnold grabbed his towel which he'd left with Helga's stuff earlier and the two of them bolted toward the beach house.

They leapt up the front steps and dropped their bags on the wooden porch, panting from their exertion. The rain was coming down hard and the beach now seemed to be a distant, grey mist.

Arnold leaned against the wood paneling of the house and suddenly started laughing.

"What are you laughing at, Football-head?" Helga put her hands on her hips and Arnold shrugged, still chuckling to himself.

Helga watched him in confusion for a moment before his laughter became infectious and she started to giggle as well, eventually erupting into a hearty laugh of her own.

. . . . . . . .

Phoebe and her parents came back later that afternoon. They'd taken refuge in a restaurant during the storm and by the time they returned, Helga had already showered and was relaxing in the living room watching TV. She'd put on a light pink shirt and jeans, which a purple hoodie overtop.

"Hello, Helga," Phoebe greeted. The weather had calmed from a downpour to a gentle rain and Phoebe's hair was still wet. "Did you have a good time today?"

Helga just sighed and leaned back in her chair dreamily.

Phoebe laughed. "I guess that's a yes. Tell me about it when I get out of the shower?"

"You got it," Helga pointed to her friend and turned her attention back to the TV but quickly grew bored as a commercial had come on. Her eyes wandered to her beach bag sitting a couple feet away and she noticed something odd.

Helga clambered out of the recliner she'd been sitting in and inspected her bag to find two pairs of sunglasses.

_Me and Arnold's stuff must have gotten mixed up when we were packing everything up. _She thought to herself. _Perfect excuse to go over there? _Helga chuckled to herself and walked to the front door, sunglasses in hand.

Outside the sky was still grey and rain was still coming down, though not as heavily as before. The sound of an acoustic guitar caught her attention and she opened the screen door, stepping out onto the porch.

Arnold was sitting cross-legged on a wicker bench on the other side of the porch. He had a pair of tattered jeans on and a dark blue hoodie with the hood pulled up, his guitar in his lap.

Helga held the screen door as it closed so it wouldn't slam and make a sound, all the while watching Arnold play and sing to himself.

"Even the best fall down sometimes, even the wrong words seem to rhyme," He sang softly. "Out of the doubt that fills my mind, I somehow find you and I collide," He halted his singing, continuing to strum his guitar as he searched for the right lyrics. "I'm quiet you know, you make a first impression. I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind," He strummed a bit more, then adjusted one of his tuning pegs.

Helga finally let go of the screen door and turned to sit down on the wicker chair by her door but the movement caught Arnold's eye.

"Oh hey," He gave a small smile.

Helga stood back up like a puppetmaster had just yanked on her strings. "Uh, y-you left these in my bag. Or maybe I took them by mistake. They weren't supposed to be there. I, um… here," She stammered as she walked over and handed Arnold his sunglasses.

"Thanks," He said, sitting them down next to him.

After a somewhat awkward pause, Helga asked, "So what were you playing?"

"Oh, it's a song we're supposed to do for the next open mic night," Arnold shrugged, resting his arms against his guitar. "The guys were really into performing so I think that's gonna become a regular thing now,"

"Oh," Helga said simply, feeling dumb. "That's good,"

"You should come again," Arnold grinned, then shrugged. "If you want,"

"I'll check my calendar," Helga retorted haughtily but caught his gaze and smiled.

At this moment, Harold and Sid came to the screen door.

"Aww, Sid," Harold said with a mocking, girlish tone to his voice. "Isn't that sweet?"

"What's that, Harold?" Sid said, stifling laughter.

"Arnold's new girlfriend," Harold laughed obnoxiously and Helga felt her blood pressure skyrocket. Her heart beat pounded in her chest.

Sid chuckled. "Yeah, looks like he tamed the beast, huh?"

"Arnold, are you gonna need the room to yourself tonight?" Harold laughed again, humping at the air.

"You think he's a masochist?" Sid asked.

By now Helga was furious and all but snarling.

"Guys, cut it out," Arnold said, setting his guitar aside as he ignored his own blush.

"Oh, so _defensive_," Harold laughed again and Helga swung the screen door open, grabbing Harold by the collar of his shirt.

"Say one more thing and you'll get the crudest sex change my foot can offer," She growled.

Sid snickered and directed his comment to Arnold. "So much for the nice girls, huh? You like 'em feisty?"

Helga shoved Harold back into their living room and let out an enraged, low scream before stomping over to her side of the porch.

"Helga, wait!" Arnold called after her and stood up.

"Go get her, Arnold," Sid said.

"Aw, Sid, he's goin' to protect her," Harold said, batting his eyelashes and bringing his clasped hands up to his face in mock adoration.

"SHUT UP!" Helga turned around and screamed.

"Helga," Arnold put a hand on her shoulder and Helga jerked away.

"Go away!" She screamed in his face. "Leave me alone, Football-head. I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to see you. Why would I want to spend time with a shrimpy little nobody like you?!" She growled, her words rolling out faster than she could even think about them.

Arnold halted for a moment, his face stricken with hurt. "Helga, I—"

"Can't you take a hint?" Helga snarled and this time Arnold's brow furrowed in anger.

"You know what?" He snapped. "I guess I can. Forget it," He said, turning around.

"No, _you _forget it, Hairboy," Helga yelled. "Criminy,"

Harold and Sid laughed from the doorway and this time it was Arnold's turn to yell. "Would you guys get out of here?!"

Surprised by his reaction, the two of them ducked inside the house and shut the door. Then Arnold turned back to Helga.

"Why are you being like this?" He asked. "We've been having a good time today, haven't we? They're obnoxious but—"

"It doesn't matter, Arnoldo," Helga cut him off.

"_What _doesn't matter?" Arnold asked, crossing his arms. "Why do you have to act like this?"

"Because I'm a bitch!" Helga yelled in his face. "Because _that's _what I _do, BUCKO,"_

_"No, _you're _not!_" Arnold grabbed her arms. "You're _not!_"

Helga turned away from him and suddenly her anger began to deflate rapidly, being replaced by regret and vulnerability. "Just let me go, Arnold," She said in a small voice and quickly disappeared inside the house, leaving Arnold frustrated and confused.

**[A/N: The song in this chapter was Collide-Howie Day]**


	8. Chapter 8

**[A/N: Woooo! Another chapter! I was expecting to get farther in this chapter but this seemed like a good stopping point. I'm PRETTY SURE the next chapter is going to be the last and I'M SO EXCITED. I can't wait to finally wrap up all these loose ends and I'm more excited to see what everyone thinks! I hope you enjoy this chapter. I probably won't be able to write for a week or two since I have to get some school stuff taken care of but hopefully this chapter can hold you over. In the meantime, I'd love to hear your predictions and thoughts! Take care! :)]**

Once she was safely inside the house and the door was closed, Helga fell in a heap against the door, her body shuddering as she cried hard but silently. She felt like she'd been kicked in the chest and her arms and legs were weak.

_What have I done? _She agonized in her head. _I've ruined everything. Why do I have to ruin everything? _

Her back slowly slid down the door until she was sitting on the floor, she tilted her head back and could feel tears escaping and sliding down each side of her face.

_I don't even deserve him. I don't deserve this chance. I don't deserve any of it. I've brought this on myself._

With that thought, another wave of pain wracked her heart and part of a cry escaped her lips before she could silence it, the wrangling of the sound back inside her making it sound even more devastatingly painful. Like an animal that almost escaped the hands of the farmer ready to slaughter it before it was yanked back inside and its neck was cut.

Helga moved from the living room to the bedroom and remained there until Phoebe came home. Never before had Phoebe seen Helga cry as hard and desperately as she did that night.

"I'm gonna lose him, Pheebs," She had hiccupped through her sobs that first night. "I need him in my life. Why do I have to be so…so…" She angrily snatched her pillow and chucked it across the room, another wave of anguish washing over her.

"Shhh… Helga," Phoebe tried to soothe. "Arnold knows you're a good person deep down. He'll forgive you,"

"What if it's too late?" Helga whimpered, pulling her legs up to her chest. "If he dies hating me I—" A painful sob wracked her insides and she buried her face in her hands.

**March 19****th**

Helga and Arnold didn't speak to one another for a few days after Helga's outburst.

Phoebe had been doing her best to comfort her friend when she wasn't out with her parents or Gerald. For the most part, though, Helga wanted to wallow in her own regret and self-loathing for a while.

By Thursday, Helga had calmed down into a somber state of being. She had refused to socialize or go anywhere with anyone which, considering it had remained rainy and overcast the past few days, hadn't significantly impeded any plans.

Phoebe had finally convinced Helga to go to the boardwalk with her today to take her mind off of the argument with Arnold and possibly think about how to go about fixing things. They spent a couple hours in the early afternoon walking up and down the many stores, tents, and stands all with vendors eagerly hoping they'd buy something. Helga and Phoebe stopped at one that sold jewelry and T-shirts and did henna tattoos. There was a boombox tucked under a table near the front entrance that was playing some radio station.

"Which one did you decide on?" Phoebe asked Helga as she walked over to where her friend was sitting, awaiting the artist to tattoo her.

"Dragon," Helga said with a satisfied half-grin as she turned so that her ankle was exposed to the woman doing her henna tattoo. "Are you still gonna get one?"

Phoebe nodded. "They aren't permanent. Why not?" She smiled and said thoughtfully, "I think I like the rose design,"

_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming,  
Or the moment of truth in your lies.  
When everything feels like the movies,  
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive._

"Good choice," Helga nodded in approval, purposefully ignoring the song that was currently playing through the small store, though interspersed with radio static.

Later that afternoon after filling up on funnel cake, corndogs, and soda, the girls were walking back to the beach house.

"I can't believe I said all those things," Helga sighed. "It was like I lost control of my mouth,"

"Yes, well," Phoebe said in a simple but heartfelt manner. "The best course of action would be to apologize to Arnold and hopefully he is willing to let it be a thing of the past. Knowing Arnold, that it what I would expect from him. But Helga, you really need to stop letting this fear of rejection and embarrassment control you. I know it's difficult but judging by how happy you were when I came home the other day, you and Arnold have been spending some real _quality _time together. At the very least, you can assume he's enjoying your company, right?"

"I guess," Helga murmured, staring at her feet as they stepped off the wooden planks of the boardwalk and onto a concrete path that cut through the sand and led to a parking lot. Some of the sand had been tracked onto the concrete and Helga could feel the texture of it beneath her sandals. "I know it sounds crazy… you know, this whole s_econd chance _thing but… I don't know how else to explain it. It doesn't make sense any other way. And it scares me to death, Pheebs," Helga crossed her arms. The temperature had dropped slightly over the past stormy, cloudy days and she was wearing a light purple jacket to accommodate. "I mean," She said softly. "You know I've loved him almost my entire life. And I've treated him like crap for most of it. He doesn't deserve that. He deserves to know the truth,"

"I agree," Phoebe encouraged gently. "No matter his reaction, I don't think Arnold's the type of person who would make fun of you for something like that. You told him how you felt before, right?"

"Yeah," Helga shrugged. "A long time ago. But I took it back. He _let me _take it back,"

"But did he say anything mean to you?" Phoebe prodded. "Did he tease you or say anything hurtful?"

"Well, no," Helga admitted. "He didn't really say _anything _of substance,"

"I think you'll be okay," Phoebe patted her friend on the shoulder as they walked off the concrete path and into the sand toward the beach house. "Do it for Arnold but do it for yourself, as well. You deserve it, too,"

Helga sighed and smiled at her friend just as they neared the beach house. Arnold was up on the porch again, sitting on the bench and playing his guitar. Helga felt a combination of fluttering girlish nerves and nauseating dread swirl inside her as she and Phoebe climbed the steps of the house.

Arnold looked up when they came into view. "Hey," He nodded to them, glancing up only momentarily before returning his gaze to his guitar.

"Hello Arnold," Phoebe said cheerily. "How's your day going?" Helga stood by, awkwardly listening.

"It's been alright, yours?" He responded politely.

"Quite well, thank you," Phoebe smiled and looked out to the beach. It was empty and beyond the blue waves at the horizon was a grey, overcast sky. "I think this weather is supposed to clear up tomorrow. That should be nice," She waited a beat, then turned to the door. "Anyway, see you later, Arnold,"

He waved and just as Helga was about to follow Phoebe inside, he called her, "Hey Helga?"

_Criminy, no. _Helga thought to herself. _Not yet, I haven't even figured out what to say to you!_

"Yeah?" She said simply, turning to face him though sparsely making eye contact.

Arnold waved her over and with a sigh, she reluctantly approached him.

"Helga, I understand if you don't want anything to do with me," He began, setting his guitar aside. "But I was hoping we could talk a little bit. Would you wanna go for a walk?"

Helga shrugged. "Um, sure,"

Arnold stood up and grabbed his guitar, opening his front door long enough to slip the guitar inside the house and close the door behind him again. Then the two of them headed off in no direction in particular, however, they ended up wandering down to the beach.

They didn't really say anything for the first few minutes. The sky was growing darker and the grey of the clouds seemed to deepen. A wind whipped past and the tide was bringing in a cold rush of water that threatened to meet them if they got any closer. They walked down to the edge of the beach where the tide had smoothed over the sand enough to make it solid and easy for walking but far enough from the edge of the ocean that they could keep their feet dry. A lighthouse in the distance shined brightly against the dim and dreary backdrop of this day.

"I've been thinking over the past few days," Arnold said, breaking the silence and Helga watched him in silence with wide eyes, eager yet apprehensive to hear what he had to say. "And in a way, I think I understand why you said all those mean things but at the same time, I don't, really…" He said, his brow furrowed as though he were examining his words as they came out. He turned and looked at her expectantly as if it was her turn to provide insight. Helga couldn't handle the eye contact for very long before she was staring at her feet, studying the way they sunk the slightest bit into the wet sand with every step.

Realizing that Helga wasn't going to say anything, at least at that moment, Arnold sighed. "Why do you do it?" He asked gently, matching Helga's gaze and looking at his bare feet as they squished the sand.

"Do what?" She muttered quietly, fully knowing what he meant.

Arnold sighed again and looked up at the skyline. The lights of the boardwalk could be seen in the distance, brightening one side of their view in complete contrast to the deepening darkness of the sea to their right. The clouds above moved along slowly, never revealing a peephole through which to see a single star.

"I think I get it," He finally said.

"You do?" Helga asked, one eyebrow raised.

"Yeah," Arnold shrugged. "I mean, considering how the guys were acting and what they were saying… It wasn't right. So I understand why you got upset,"

"Really?"

"Yeah," Arnold said with a sigh. "But still, you didn't have to say those nasty thing to me. I thought we'd been having a good time together lately and well, I was glad that things had sort of… changed between us, I guess,"

There was a moment of silence between them. Arnold stuffed his hands into his hoodie's pockets and Helga walked with her arms crossed and eyes cast down.

_This is it. I've gotta undo what I've done. _Helga psyched herself up and looked around. The beach was nearly vacant and the only place seeming to still have some life was the boardwalk off in the distance. They were completely alone sans a handful of other people walking around and talking – all of whom were out of earshot.

"I-I…" Helga found her voice, albeit a small one. "I didn't mean any of the things I said, Arnold," She said quickly but honestly. "I'm sorry,"

Arnold's mouth curled into a half-smile. "It's okay,"

Helga discreetly breathed an immense sigh of relief and Arnold added, "I thought you didn't want anything to do with me. This is the first I've seen of you since,"

_Had Arnold actually been upset at the idea of me not wanting anything to do with him? _Helga marveled in her head. _And maybe… maybe he wanted to see me? _She fought the urge to swoon and instead responded with a simple nod. "No, I was just… not… happy," The words twisted awkwardly coming out of her mouth as she didn't really feel comfortable discussing _how _upset she'd been over that incident. "About what I said," She added quietly.

There was a quiet pause between them before Arnold sought her gaze.

_I've gotta tell him. I've gotta tell him. _Helga repeated in her head. _How do I tell him? Is this a good time? Is this a bad time? We're okay now, right? He doesn't hate me… right? No, that wouldn't make sense. He asked me to take a walk with him. This would be a perfect opportunity to tell him how I feel. But am I sure? It has to be right. We just made up after three days of not speaking. Mostly because I'm a huge idiot but… criminy, I need to get my thoughts straight. I just need to—_

"I've been wondering," Arnold said unexpectedly and Helga startled. Arnold didn't notice, however, as he was now periodically picking up seashells and examining them, keeping a couple but tossing most of them back into the tide. "What changed?"

"Huh?" Helga asked, somewhat caught off-guard. "What do you mean _'What changed?'_?"

"I mean," Arnold said, emphasizing those words in a way that suggested he wasn't sure how to feel at this moment. Maybe awkward? Maybe uncomfortable? Maybe just curious? "One day you're treating me like crap and the next day you come to school and ask me to be your partner and suddenly it's like… like, I dunno. Like we're friends,"

"Aren't we?" Helga asked in a voice smaller than she intended, mildly apprehensive as to what his response would be.

Arnold shrugged and in the dim light of twilight, Helga would speculate that he perhaps looked… bashful? "I mean, I always considered you a friend. Considering the way you acted though I was never quite sure if you thought so, too,"

Helga's chest felt tight and she squeezed the words out, concealing her ebbing walls of protection as best she could. "You've always been my friend, too, Arnold," _And so, so much more…_

Arnold smiled upon hearing that, turning over a pearly white shell in his hand. There was a chip in the edge of it but it was otherwise perfect. Some sand was trapped in its crevice.

"So, what changed?" Arnold asked. "Why'd you decide to be nice all of a sudden? Don't get me wrong, I… I like it… I guess I'm just trying to understand?" This time he looked at her with a sideways glance.

Helga opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out at first. Her heartbeat was steadily quickening and she breathed in deeply, finally exhaling as she said, "I… can't tell you,"

_Not like this, my darling. _Helga cooed sadly in her head. _I can't tell you like this. That my sudden change in behavior was the direct result of realizing how foolish I'd been all these years. That this change you speak of may not have come about had I not realized my mistake, held your hand and wept for you as you lay still in your casket… never knowing… No, I can't tell you that._

"Oh…" Arnold said, slightly disappointed as this hadn't been the response he was expecting. "Um, how come?"

In a mildly frustrated but more wistful fit of expression, Helga threw up her hands. "I just can't! Okay?"

"Okay," Arnold said reluctantly. "I guess,"

Why did this seem so familiar? Helga relaxed as Arnold seemed to be giving up on that particular question and she allowed herself to calm down enough to mull over how and when she could tell him the truth about her feelings.

They continued to walk down the length of the beach. It was quiet, sans the gentle tossing and turning of the ocean. Pretty much everyone had vacated the beach by this time and it was growing darker by the minute. Not a star in the sky could be seen through the stratus clouds above.

Helga wracked her mind for something to say to Arnold but as much as she dared herself to do it, she couldn't bring herself to tell him she loved him. Instead, she compensated with a different, uncomfortable topic.

"Remember how you asked me a while ago about my mom?" Helga said, surprised to find that her hands were trembling. She wringed them together, forcing herself to breathe deeply and quietly so she might calm down.

"Yeah," Arnold said, ceasing his seashell collecting and glancing at her as they walked.

"For the most part, yeah. She's always been like that," Helga said, pursing her lips and gritting her teeth for a moment. "She has good days and bad days but, yeah. What you saw was basically how it always is,"

Arnold was quiet and nodded, looking off into the distance at the sea with a contemplative expression. "I'm sorry, Helga,"

"Don't be," Helga shrugged. "It's just how it is. I just learned to take care of myself because if I don't, no one else will,"

Arnold bit his lip and looked at her, though she was staunchly staring out at the shoreline in front of them, her face stoic and unreadable.

"You're a really strong person, Helga," Arnold said quietly and this time he wasn't looking when Helga turned to look at him. "I've gotta say I… I admire you for that,"

Helga, though her facial expression barely changed, felt heat rise to the surface of her cheeks.

"I know your family doesn't always treat you the way they should," He continued. "I wish they did. And I wish… I wish you were happier," He shrugged.

"I'm happy sometimes," Helga said faster than she could think and a small burst of adrenaline rushed through her. _When I'm with you! When I'm with you! _Her mind dared her to tell him.

They made eye contact and Arnold smiled at her but the moment was disrupted when a drop of rain plopped onto Arnold's nose. Then another hit Helga on the ear. Then another. And another.

"We've gotta get back to the house before we get caught in the rain again," Arnold said.

"Yeah," Helga said distantly while on the inside she was pulling her hair out. _SO. CLOSE. SO. CLOSE. _

The two of them turned around and walked at a faster pace back to the beachhouse as the droplets of rain came faster and heavier. Thunder cracked just as they were a few feet away from the steps of the house and they trudged up the steps, their hair matted down and sticking to their faces.

Helga pulled her blonde tresses over to one side and wringed them out, making a puddle on the porch as Arnold messily ran both hands through his own hair. A flash of lightning lit up the night sky and rain began to fall faster, pummeling the roof of the porch with deafening noise.

As chaotic as the rain was, it also brought a peace. A renewal. It washed away the mistakes and the hurt and made way for something better.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Helga," Arnold said and lingered a moment, as if he wasn't sure if there was something more he wanted to say or do, but turned and went inside.

Helga sighed as she watched the door close behind him. It wasn't a lovesick sigh or a sad sigh. Just a sigh. Of acceptance. Of contentment. Of peace, settling into her heart.

**March 20****th**

Friday morning was a nice contrast to the days prior. The clouds had finally dissipated and the sun emerged, waking Helga with its golden rays shining into her room. Everyone was eager to get down to the beach and remedy their cabin fever with some time soaking up the sun and sand.

Helga and Phoebe were relaxing on their beach towels after having come in from the water. It was still freezing cold but this time Helga had at least managed to go out to waist level before she walked back up onto the sand, her teeth chattering and her skin prickling with goosebumps.

Despite Helga's reservations, they were laid out in the same spot as the guys – mostly because Phoebe wanted to be close to Gerald. For the sake of her friend and encouraged by her interaction with Arnold the night before, Helga had conceded. Neither Harold nor Sid had said anything to her since they'd all come out together and Helga wondered if Arnold had said something to them. She didn't think about it for long though because for the most part, Gerald, Harold, Sid, and Arnold spent most of their time out in the surf boogieboarding. Stinky was peacefully lying on his back on a blanket with sunglasses protecting his eyes from the sun and a huge dollop of zinc oxide on his large nose. Phoebe was lying on her stomach reading a book and Helga, while also lying on her stomach, was people-watching and thinking about the night before. She wondered if Arnold had spent as much time thinking about it as she had but she chalked that up to wishful thinking.

Helga hadn't noticed the guys coming back until they were already there. Gerald and Sid walked past the girls, dripping with water, and Phoebe yelped, trying to protect the pages of her book.

"Sorry babe," Gerald said, grabbing his towel and drying off. "So when's Lila coming up?" He directed to Sid.

_Lila is coming? _Helga's ears pricked up upon hearing that.

"She'll probably be here in a couple hours," Sid said, reclining into a beach chair and popping open the cooler they'd brought.

"I can't believe Ms. Lila would come all the way up here just for a measly two days outta her vacation," Stinky pondered, sitting up and removing his sunglasses.

"Yeah well, what can I say?" Sid said, putting on the charm. "She digs me,"

"Oh brother," Helga muttered, rolling her eyes.

Harold pretended to stick his finger down his throat with an accompanying "_Blech!" _sound.

"Yeah, yeah," Sid squinted his eyes at Harold as he popped the lid to his can of soda. "You're just jealous," He ignored the eyerolls and stifled chuckles that followed that statement.

. . . . . . . .

Lila arrived later that afternoon. Everyone was still hanging out together at this point and Helga was a little disappointed that she didn't have an opportunity to spend more alone time with Arnold. Still, she stuck around nonetheless. She'd told herself she would bite her tongue if the guys started to rag on her again but she was still a bit nervous that she might say or do the wrong thing, regardless. Thankfully, no one was really paying attention to her once Lila arrived so she could blend in and observe.

Lila hadn't wanted to stay out on the beach with them for very long once she arrived.

"I'm certain I would love to spend time on the beach but I'm afraid I haven't put any sunscreen on yet and I don't want to burn," She stated. She was wearing a long, light green skirt and a solid white top with a big floppy sun hat and large, stylish sunglasses. "I shouldn't stay out here for very long,"

"It's okay; we've been out here for a while anyway, right guys?" Sid said and most of the guys half-heartedly agreed.

_Or you could just put on some sunscreen, Mary Sunshine… _Helga thought, rolling her eyes.

Phoebe and Helga split from the rest of the group come dinnertime but as evening fell, Phoebe prepared to go next door and hang out. Her parents had left an hour beforehand to go to dinner and a show with their family across town, leaving the girls alone for the next several hours.

"Gerald said his brother gave him some alcohol before they left," Phoebe explained to Helga, brushing her hair and tying it up into a half ponytail. They were in their room and Phoebe was in front of the dresser as Helga lazily loafed on her bed. "He informed me tonight they intend to have something of a 'party',"

"_You're _gonna drink?" Helga asked with one eyebrow raised, the rest of her expression deadpanning.

"I may have a drink or two," Phoebe said, mildly indignant. "I know how to be responsible. Besides, the purpose is primarily to simply hang out, like a small party amongst friends,"

"Yeah, with _Lila_," Helga rolled her eyes.

"Are you going to come over and hang out with us or are you going to stay here?" Phoebe asked, carefully applying mascara to her lashes.

"Well, I guess _someone's _gotta keep an eye on you now that you've turned into some party animal," Helga joked sarcastically.

"Oh Helga," Phoebe gave a good-natured eyeroll. "I have no reason to believe this is anything more than a low-key get together.

"If you say so," Helga chuckled. "I should go over there just to run interference between Arnold and Ms. Perfect," She muttered to herself but in their small room, Phoebe could inevitably hear her.

"Helga, she and Sid have been seeing each other for some time now. I doubt that you have anything to be worried about," Phoebe screwed her mascara wand back into its tube.

"Still," Helga said, shrugging off her friend's reassurance. "I remember how it was _before_ and I don't wanna take any chances when it comes to her and Arnold _at a party. _Besides, _Sid?_" Helga deadpanned. "Do you really think a thing between her and _Sid _is gonna _last_?"

Phoebe shrugged, "Sometimes things don't always happen the way you expect them to,"

Helga sighed thoughtfully. "That's for sure,"

. . . . . . . .

Arnold opened the door when the girls came over.

"Hey," He greeted and stepped aside to let the girls in. The air was cooling with the night and Arnold had changed into a pair of blue jeans and a teal green T-shirt. Helga noted his appearance and tried not to stare. Their side of the beachhouse was basically identical to hers but moderately bigger. The guys had turned the dining table into a beerpong table, at which Harold and Stinky were already setting up cups. There was a CD player/radio sitting atop one of the end tables playing music and Sid was sitting on the couch with Lila, the two of them speaking in hushed tones to one another but, judging by the smile on Lila's face, it was a pleasant conversation to say the least.

Arnold smiled at Helga before going over to the table to help Harold and Stinky set up just as Gerald came out of the kitchen area to greet Phoebe with a kiss.

"Lovely," Helga rolled her eyes.

"Help yourselves to whatever you want in the kitchen," Gerald said. "Phoebe, do you want me to get you anything?"

Phoebe pondered with an innocent grin on her face. "What are you having?" She nodded at the red plastic cup in his hand.

"It's just a beer," He replied.

"That's fine," She smiled and Gerald nodded, heading into the kitchen to get his girlfriend's drink.

"I'm glad you came over," Arnold's voice startled Helga and she realized that she somehow hadn't noticed him walk over to her. "I wasn't sure if you would,"

"Can't get rid of me that easily, Football-head," She joked and Arnold smirked.

"I wouldn't want to,"

Helga bit the insides of her cheeks in a vain attempt at keeping herself from blushing. Had anyone else heard that? She suddenly felt like she was on display and all eyes were on her, aware of the way her heart had flipped and her breath had caught in her throat at his comment. Arnold had already walked away to do something in the kitchen and Helga felt hot.

She walked into the kitchen and surveyed the alcohol sitting up on the counter. Three cases of beer, a couple bottles of soda, and half a bottle of rum. Gerald and Phoebe had already gone back into the living room and Arnold was dumping pizza rolls onto a pan to stick in the oven. Helga snuck a glance at Arnold and felt her muscles tense and her pulse quicken. She took a deep breath and willed herself to relax. She felt so jumpy and part of what scared her was how bold she was starting to feel. It didn't seem so far-fetched anymore to tell Arnold her secret. Him flirting with her was more than she could handle and she felt she could melt into a swooning, girlish puddle if he came near her again. He was only a few feet away and she could already feel an electricity that willed her to walk over to him, push him up against the counter and… no, she had to relax. She had to calm down.

Helga turned away from Arnold and picked up one of the empty red plastic cups, pouring herself some rum and coke. Arnold finished what he was doing and closed the oven door as Helga took a sip of her drink, a sweet burn that warmed her as it went down. She could handle this. Just a little relaxation, some quality time with Arnold, maybe some laughs, and keeping an eye on Lila. Simple enough.

. . . . . . . .

It wasn't that simple. After a few hours, Harold, Stinky and Sid were drunk, Gerald and Arnold were tipsy and enjoying their friends' antics, Lila and Phoebe were in bubbly, laughter-filled moods, and Helga was plastered.

"I g-got you now, Harold!" Sid slurred, then laughed as he set up their cups.

Harold had Arnold's digital camera and was video-taping this round. He sat the camera down on the table and narrated what was going on. At one point he tried to get into the camera's shot by leaning over the camera and appearing upside-down but had ended up banging his head on the table. This threw everyone into fits of hysterical laughter. Lila and Phoebe were engaged in conversation, giggling over the boys' antics as Arnold and Gerald looked on, guffawing every time one of their friends did something particularly stupid.

"I'm goin' to the beach," Stinky's drawl came out even more exaggerated. "I can't handle you fellers!"

"No!" Sid screamed and laughed, grabbing Stinky's arm. "You can't go to the beach!"

"Why the heck not?" Stinky said, laughing as he tried to shrug Sid off.

"They have people out there at night who will catch you!" Gerald yelled over their laughter.

"No, they don't!" Arnold laughed and elbowed Gerald in the side.

Gerald made a face and shrugged, then Arnold got up to go to the bathroom.

"Phoebe!" Helga came back into the living room from the kitchen after having refilled her cup, passing Arnold on the way.

Phoebe turned away from Lila and noted the way her friend walked sloppily over to the couch and narrowly avoided spilling her drink as she plopped down. She eyed Helga warily. "Helga—"

Helga tapped Phoebe on the shoulder and got close to her ear, whispering a little too loudly. "I'm gonna tell him!"

Phoebe's eyes widened and she reached for Helga's drink. "That's great but um, maybe you should wait a little bit,"

"Whyyyyyy?" Helga whined, moving away from Phoebe and pouting. "Don't you know I've spent… I've spent like… _my whole life_ waiting!?"

"I do, Helga," Phoebe said. "But you can tell him tomorrow,"

"Ahhh," Helga sighed dramatically, falling back against the couch. "Tomorrow… tomorrow… parting is such sweet sorrow!" She paused, then erupted into laughter. "I'M A FUCKING POET, PHEEBS,"

The boys were still carrying on so they were neither paying attention, nor caring about what was coming out of Helga's mouth. Lila's attention flipped back and forth between the guys and Helga.

"Helga, perhaps you should slow down a little bit," Lila said sweetly. "You've had ever so much to drink and I—"

"You're just so _sweet_," Helga turned to Lila and exclaimed, emphasizing her words with drunken excitement and mild sarcasm. She stood up and, tripping over Phoebe's feet, moved to sit between the two girls. She looked right at Lila and Lila tried to discreetly move over a little bit since they were uncomfortably close. "Soooooo sweet… Do you know what diabetes is, Lila?" Before even finishing (or making) her point, or allowing Lila to respond, Helga once again erupted into giggles that grew into hearty guffaws.

Phoebe, taking the opportunity, gently removed Helga's cup from her hand. "I think you're pretty relaxed now, Helga. We're all friends here. Let's just—"

"You know what?" Helga turned to Phoebe in an almost child-like way. "I am relaxed. This is so… great,"

A guitar's melody echoed from the radio and Helga laughed. "This song!" She exclaimed as the first verse began. "I can't escape it! _AND I DON'T WANT THE WORLD TO SEEE MEEEEEE…" _She sang along in a obnoxiously loud and slurred voice.

By now, the guys had stopped their antics and were walking back over to the beerpong table. Arnold had just come out of the bathroom and joined Gerald on the couch perpendicular to the girls.

"You know what this reminds me of?" Helga said loudly, catching everyone's attention, then turned to Phoebe as if she was having a one-on-one conversation. "Remember that time I told you I flipped out of Arnold's couch?" She laughed. Phoebe blanched. "A-and all the guys were there and, and I just _got up and walked away?_" She laughed. Everyone stared. "O-oh _man_, I have stories, don't I? Oh and there was that time with the pork rinds! Oooh, the pork rinds. I haven't eaten them since though, nope! We don't wanna walk on Arnold's fire escape!" Gerald raised an eyebrow and looked at Arnold whose face was a mixture of confusion, surprise, and mild embarrassment.

"Helga, I think you should stop…" Phoebe warned. "Let's go outside, hmm?" She grabbed her friend's arm and tried to encourage her to stand up with her. Most of the guys went back to doing their own things, unfazed by Helga's outburst, except Arnold who continued to watch.

"Noooooo," Helga whined which transformed into yet another laugh. "God, I have so many little… ahh, little _things_! Haha, and you know them all! You know you're still the only one who knows about that time on Valentine's Day when I dressed up as—"

"_Helga!" _Phoebe yelled through gritted teeth. "Let's _go_. I need… I need your help with something! _Please_!"

Helga gave a heavy sigh. "Okay, okay, _fine_," She put her hands up in surrender and before she could say anything else, Phoebe, in all her petite strength, yanked Helga off the couch and dragged her out onto the front porch.

Phoebe pulled the door closed behind them and Helga turned around to look at her. "Sooooo, what's up?"

"Helga, I think you could use some fresh air," Phoebe said calmly. "I don't want you to do something you may regret,"

"Regret?" Helga raised an eyebrow and stumbled over to the railing, a light veil of melancholy falling over her. "I already have plenty,"

"I know," Phoebe moved toward her and put a hand on her back. "It's going to be alright. Let's just, take a few minutes to… to clear our heads, okay?"

Helga nodded childishly. "I don't want him to die, Phoebe," She said sadly, pouting.

Phoebe bit her lip. "I know, Helga. It's going to be okay,"

"Reaaaally?" Helga whimpered, crossing her arms and resting her head against them as she leaned against the railing.

"Yes, Helga," Phoebe patted Helga's shoulder and behind them, she could hear the door open.

"Hey," Arnold said cautiously, stepping out onto the porch. He was a little wobbly himself but still relatively aware of him and the people around him. "Is she alright?" He asked Phoebe quietly as he slowly approached.

Phoebe nodded and patted Helga's back again just as, without warning, Helga vomited over the side of the railing.

Phoebe yelped and jumped back to avoid the splatter and Arnold stopped in his tracks. "Oh, Helga," Phoebe said ruefully as she moved behind Helga and gathered her blonde hair into a ponytail, securing it with the elastic band in her own hair.

"I'll get her some water," Arnold said and ducked back into the house as Helga retched and spat into the grass.

Phoebe took Helga back over to their side of the house before her parents got home and helped her get into her bed. She grabbed a mop bucket from a closet in the kitchen and set it next to Helga's bed along with a bottle of water Arnold had supplied on her nightstand. When Helga finally stopped being nauseated and drifted off to sleep, Phoebe kept an eye on her before collapsing in exhaustion onto her own bed.

**[A/N: I can't remember if I ever credited it but the song that keeps repeating throughout the chapters is Iris-Goo Goo Dolls. Trust me, it'll make sense later lol.]**


	9. Chapter 9

**[A/N: Okay, here's the deal. I know I said this was gonna be the last chapter BUT I split the final chapter into two. Why? Well, I got this much done and it seemed like a nice ending point before the most important day (March 23rd!) But also, I have a crazy amount of work to do tomorrow and it was either wrap this up as a nice chapter and make the whole fic 10 chapters instead of 9 OR spend tomorrow finishing the story and fail college :) Priorities, right? Anywho, this is not the grand finale BUT the next chapter will be. This chapter more or less sets things up and you'll see how when I post it. Thanks to everyone who's been reading and reviewing and encouraging. :) It means a lot and inspires me to try and write quicker. If this momentum keeps up (once I finish my school assignments tomorrow, of course) I may be wrapping this fic up by the end of the week!**

**Again, enjoy and let me know what you think ^_^ Predictions are always welcome.]**

**March 22****nd**

Helga had spent Saturday nursing a hangover and dealing with the reality of what she'd said the night before once Phoebe informed her.

"I said _what_?!" Helga had exclaimed, mortified when Phoebe told her how she'd almost revealed herself to be the one who'd dressed up as Cecile, Arnold's French penpal, when they were in fourth grade. "_Oh no, oh no, oh no…" _Helga groaned, holding her head in her hands as she felt another headache surge.

"It's alright," Phoebe said, trying to reassure Helga even though she wasn't entirely convinced. "Considering how much the guys had had to drink, I'm sure they don't even remember your outburst,"

"God, I hope you're right," Helga said, resting her head in one hand.

"I'm quite surprised you got as intoxicated as you did, though, Helga," Phoebe eyed her friend, still concerned for her well-being.

"I was just… I was just trying to calm my nerves, Pheebs," Helga said, leaning back against the headboard of her bed as Phoebe sat at the edge of her own. "I was nervous and worried and… and I don't even know…" She sighed. "I didn't think I was overdoing it at the time but I guess I'm a lightweight, huh?" Helga joked half-heartedly but Phoebe wasn't amused.

"You could've gotten us into trouble with my parents, Helga," She scolded gently.

Helga sighed again and let her hands flop into her lap. "I know. Honestly, I'm sorry. I guess I was just scared… of this whole thing, ya know?" Helga fidgeted with her hands. "Criminy, Monday is the day, Pheebs!"

"The day?"

"The day—the day Arnold dies," Helga said quietly.

"Helga, I highly doubt—"

"I know," Helga cut her off. "You don't believe it. Maybe I'm crazy but if I'm _right_, then I only have a few days to do this," She bit her lip in thought. "I've gotta get my shit together. For all I know, it could've just been a bad dream but if it _wasn't _and this really _is _my second chance, I've gotta find a way to do this right. Mark my words, I'm _gonna _tell him and if there's anything I can do to keep him from getting hurt… well, I'm gonna do my damnedest to try,"

Helga was determined but there was a somber air of doubt around her.

Early Sunday afternoon, everyone was getting ready to head back to Hillwood. Helga was sitting out on the front porch, enjoying the sunny weather and the crisp breeze that whipped through her blonde hair. The contrast between the sun's warm and the coolness of the wind was somehow calming. She was mostly packed already and had just finished eating lunch before deciding some fresh air would do her good. She'd stayed inside all day yesterday – mostly from sickness but also out of embarrassment. She hadn't missed much in terms of seeing Arnold though, as Phoebe had informed her that the guys had been out and about for the majority of the day doing as much as they could before spring break was over.

Helga sighed, fiddling with the worn zipper on her jacket and contemplating everything that had been going on. She couldn't avoid it anymore – the moment of truth was fast approaching and she needed a plan. Spontaneity hadn't been working out thus far. Whether it was due to her own nervousness, temperamental weather, or inopportunely timed interruptions, she still hadn't confessed to Arnold yet and she was running out of time. She couldn't say that, even despite the circumstances, she wasn't afraid to tell him the truth. What if it had all been a terrible dream and this _wasn't _actually the day before he was supposed to die and it was just a normal day and she told him how she felt and he thought she was weird or didn't want to speak to her again and then… and then what? She'd be mortified and devastated and wallow in her own self-pity and unfulfilled longing until the end of time. But it had been so real. How else could she explain the de ja vu? And the pain she felt. She remembered his face so vividly. The coldness of his face, void of all life. Maybe she could find a way to keep that from happening. But how?

Helga's thoughts were interrupted when she heard the sound of a screen door close behind her. She whipped around to see Arnold step out onto the porch.

"Oh, hey Helga," He said, having not noticed her out on the porch at first.

Helga felt heat rise up in her chest as she recalled what Arnold must have heard her say the other night. That coupled with her getting sick out on the porch comprised the perfect recipe for embarrassment.

"Hey," Helga said in a quiet, emotionless voice without looking at him.

"How are you feeling?" He asked cautiously as he walked toward her, stopping a couple feet away and leaning against the porch railing.

"Better," She shrugged. "I, um… Phoebe said you gave me water. Thanks," She said lamely.

Arnold waved her off. "I'm just glad you're feeling better. You were uh… you were pretty…"

"Hammered?" Helga offered, trying to make light of her own embarrassment. Maybe then this wouldn't feel so awkward.

"For lack of a better term, yeah," He let out a small laugh and looked down at his hands, clasped together as his elbows rested against the railing. "So um, we're doing another open mic night tonight back home if you wanna come. You know, if you feel up to it,"

Helga bit her lip to withhold the bashful grin that threatened to take over her face. She loved it when he invited her to things. "Yeah, uh, I think I should be able to do that,"

"Great," Arnold smiled.

"Great," Helga returned the expression.

The air grew quiet between them, a stillness that was obviously making both uncomfortable.

_Do it, Helga. Stop wasting time! _Helga prodded herself on.

"Hey Arnold, I uh…" She slowly inhaled and clasped her hands together as she felt them begin to shake. "Th-there's something I wanted to tell you,"

"Oh yeah?" Arnold asked, a quizzical expression etched across his face. "What is it?"

"Well, you see I—"

"Hey Arnold!" Gerald stuck his head out the screen door. "Get your stuff and let's go, man! We're burning daylight!"

"O-okay, Gerald!" Arnold replied, startled at first by the interruption. Gerald eyed him for a moment, waiting like an expectant parent for his best friend to come inside and get ready. "Just a sec!" When Gerald disappeared back inside the house, muttering and shaking his head, Arnold turned his attention back to Helga who was now quietly staring down at her hands, her brow furrowed. "What did you wanna tell me?"

Helga sighed. "I… I'm…"

"Come on, Arnold!" Harold called from inside the house. Gerald had apparently left the main door open.

"We're waitin' on you, Arnold," Stinky drawled from just inside the door.

Even though they were far enough on the other side of the porch that she and Arnold couldn't see them and they likely couldn't see her, Helga still felt like she was being watched, dissected, observed, scrutinized…

Arnold sighed, "Tell me tonight?"

Helga thought for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah, I can do that," She finally breathed.

"Good," Arnold smiled and briefly touched her forearm. It was so quick that Helga hardly would have noticed it if not for the fleeting warmth she felt at that touch. "I'll see you tonight,"

"O-okay," She choked out and watched him cross over the porch and step inside the house.

. . . . . . . .

The car ride home was just as quiet as it had been on the way there. Phoebe's parents listened to a different book on tape. Thankfully they'd never found out about Helga's drunken night and subsequent hangover. The last thing she needed with all this other drama was to get in trouble or worse, get Phoebe in trouble. Arnold and the guys had left about a half an hour before they had so she didn't get to see him again before they left the beach.

As she watched the landscape pass by, a myriad of trees, grass, road signs, and asphalt, Helga stewed in her thoughts.

_Okay, so I'm gonna tell him tonight after the show. _Helga thought as she worked to develop a plan. _After his show, I'll ask him to come somewhere private so we can talk and I'll just tell him. Just flat out, basic facts. Quick and simple. Oh god, it's not simple though. Why is this so difficult? Every time I've felt bold enough to possibly tell Arnold my secret I chicken out. Why am I such a coward? I just… I guess I'm kind of my own worst enemy, standing in my own way… In a way I kind of always have… Hiding my feelings and masking them with a brusque, angry façade that did nothing but push people away. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I torture myself like this? I'm through being a psychotic freak. No matter what happens, Arnold will know that I love him. And if there's anything I can do to save him, I'm gonna do it. But how? What happened the night he died? Everyone went out to the stupid bowling alley, that's right. And then… I think Phoebe said something about Arnold walking Lila home. Okay, well, he's not dating Lila anymore so that shouldn't be an issue but to be safe, I've gotta keep Arnold away from the bowling alley and away from that side of the neighborhood. If he's not over there tomorrow night then he won't be there when those assholes would have tried to mug him and then he'll be okay. _

"Hey Pheebs," Helga gently nudged her best friend. Phoebe had been reading but after a few minutes she'd started to feel carsick and had opted for a nap instead. "Pheebs," Helga whispered again, nudging a little harder until Phoebe stirred.

"Mmm? What is it, Helga?" Phoebe asked, adjusting her glasses which had been pushed up on one side when she'd been leaning against the window.

"I've got a plan," Helga said in a hushed voice, allowing the narrator's voice from the speakers to muffle her words so that only Phoebe could hear. "Tomorrow, if anyone tries to get the gang to go to the movies, we've gotta convince them to go somewhere else, okay?"

"Mmmhmm, okay Helga," Phoebe said dreamily, yawning as her eyes, appearing heavy, fluttered closed once again.

Helga sat back in her seat and let out a long exhale. This was going to work. It had to work. Everything was going to be okay. If ever there was a time to channel Arnold's optimistic spirit, this was it.

. . . . . . . .

As Helga dragged her clunky purple suitcase into the foyer of her family's brownstone, she was immediately greeted with soft groans and whimpers and it only took a glance to notice her mother sprawled out on the landing at the bottom of the staircase.

"Mom!" Helga cried out instinctively. "What happened?" A quick survey of the situation left little to the imagination, though. Miriam was lying on her back, her upper back propped up by the wall and clutching at her leg which was turned in at a nauseatingly acute angle. Her mother's lids were still heavy with drunkenness and it took only a moment to deduce that Miriam, in another one of her drunken stupors, had fallen down the stairs and broken her leg. She had a bruise developing already on her forehead with a cut that had since coagulated.

"Sweetheart," Miriam's words were slow and mildly delirious, as always. "You're home. Do me a favor, sweetheart and umm… call…" She trailed off but Helga had already stood up and was heading for the phone. She dialed 911 first, then she phoned the beeper store. Her dad, ever the workaholic, often worked through the weekend since it was their busiest time of the week. She would have driven Miriam to the hospital herself but Bob never left either set of car keys at home with Miriam and with Helga forbidden from driving the sedan, she didn't have her set so they were stuck.

Big Bob showed up just as the paramedics were lifting Miriam onto the stretcher.

"What the heck happened, Miriam?" He exclaimed when he walked in, his voice a mixture of concern and frustration.

"She fell, what's it look like, Bob?" Helga retorted sardonically.

"Criminy, Miriam," Bob shook his head as the paramedics lifted the stretcher and carefully carried Miriam out the front door. "Come on," Bob ordered Helga.

"I just got home!" Helga exclaimed, pointing to her suitcase still waiting to be taken upstairs.

Big Bob eyed her incredulously. "I don't wanna hear it, little lady. You're coming to the hospital. That's your mother for cripes' sakes!" He bellowed. "Now get your jacket, girl, and let's move it, _pronto!_"

Helga grumbled as she slid her arms back into her jacket that she'd tossed on the railing while waiting for the paramedics then followed her father out to the car and they followed the ambulance to the hospital.

. . . . . . . .

Helga watched the clock anxiously as time ticked on. By dinnertime they'd already been in the hospital for two hours and since Miriam's life wasn't in any immediate danger, it seemed the staff was taking their good old time. It had taken an hour and a half for them to finally be called out of the waiting room and now they were in a smaller waiting area near radiology waiting for Miriam's leg to be X-rayed.

"Dad, I've gotta be somewhere at eight," Helga said, trying to suppress her growing frustration and appeal to her father. "_Please _let me take the car. I swear I'll come back and get you guys,"

"No way in hell," Her father shook his head. "Your patootie is stayin' _right here_. Your mother broke her frickin' leg and who knows what else," Big Bob rolled his eyes, obviously no stranger to dealing with the aftermath of Miriam's benders.

"She's _fine_," Helga exclaimed, scowling and crossing her arms. "She bumped her head and broke her leg. They'll bandage her up and she'll go back home and supplement the narcotics they give her with a few more of her _smoothies_," She made air quotes and Bob narrowed his eyes at her.

"Watch your mouth, Olga," He warned.

"It's _Helga_," Helga grumbled, correcting him for the millionth time.

"And don't think I forgot what you did to my car," Bob added. "You got a lotta nerve, girl. You'll go home when we all go home. Your mother's gonna need help gettin' outta here and back to the house. Hell if I'm doin' it all myself,"

_Yeah, because you do _so _much to help any other time. _Helga thought bitterly to herself.

There were speakers built into the ceiling of the waiting area playing music at a low volume. Helga flopped down into a cushioned seat, resigning herself to waiting as her ears caught the words of the song.

_And I'd give up forever to touch you,  
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow.  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be,  
And I don't wanna go home right now._

As the song played, Helga sighed and leaned back against her seat. Even after it ended, it hummed in her mind for the next few hours.

. . . . . . . .

They finally made it home around 9:30. After struggling to get Miriam up the stoop and into the house, then over to the living room couch, Helga bolted up to her room to change. Arnold hadn't said what time they would be playing but she knew open mic night started at eight so even if she missed him playing, hopefully he'd still be there.

It was almost ten when Helga bounded back down the steps, having changed her clothes, tied up her hair and spent a couple minutes contemplating her appearance in the mirror before deciding she looked as decent as she ever did.

_Wallet, keys, pho—_Helga went through a mental checklist. _Phone, my phone's still in my bag._

Helga dug through her beach bag that was sitting next to her suitcase, still in the foyer. Grabbing her phone, she pressed a button to check the time only to find that she had three text messages from Arnold. Hurriedly, she opened the first.

**Hey, don't come tonight. We aren't playing. Sid got sick on the ride home with Lila so we'll do it a different night.**

Helga's adrenaline rush slowed at that, realizing she wasn't late for anything if Arnold wasn't even playing at open mic night anymore. She opened the second message.

**Check out the lyrics to this song and tell me what you think. This was going to be one of the songs in our set tonight.**

Helga opened the third message, her curiosity piqued.

**Fall for you – Secondhand serenade**

Helga felt another surge of adrenaline, albeit for different reasons, well up inside her.

_This can't be what it looks like. It can't be. _She repeated over and over in her head, though a small voice made her question and she couldn't help the swooning, girlish feelings of hope that fluttered around in her chest like butterflies with a caffeine high.

Helga tore back up the steps to her room and turned her computer on, waiting the agonizing few minutes for it to boot up and bring her to her desktop. When she was finally able to get on the internet, she furiously typed the lyrics into her search engine.

_I've gotta see this… I've gotta know…_

As the page loaded, Helga bit her lip, scrolling down to read the lyrics to this song that Arnold had felt inclined to specifically tell her about.

_The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting  
Could it be that we have been this way before  
I know you don't think that I am trying  
I know you're wearing thin down to the core._

_No way… no way… _Helga had felt her heart jump upon reading the first line and she scrutinized every lyric, wondering…

_But hold your breath  
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you  
Over again  
Don't make me change my mind  
Or I won't live to see another day  
I swear it's true  
Because a girl like you is impossible to find  
You're impossible to find_

Helga could feel her heartrate pulsing in her ears and she struggled to squelch her desire to scream and flail about like a maniac.

_This is not what I intended  
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart  
You always thought that I was stronger  
I may have failed  
But I have loved you from the start  
Oh._

"Calm down, Helga ol' girl. It's just a song. It probably doesn't mean anything. Don't get your hopes up," Despite the way Helga tried to talk herself down, her physical response to reading the lyrics was fighting with every doubt crossing her mind.  
_  
Don't make me change my mind  
Or I won't live to see another day_

Helga's eyes zoned in on that part of the chorus and her adrenaline surged again. She felt like electricity was coursing through her and she couldn't quite pinpoint whether it felt good or bad. Sure, the prospect of this song being some sort of message from Arnold was enough to flip out over but that line struck a chord inside Helga and reminded her of the situation. She wasn't living out some perfect fantasy. Tomorrow was going to be a terrifying, nerve-wracking day. She had to stay focused. But still…

_So breathe in so deep  
Breathe me in  
I'm yours to keep  
And hold onto your words  
'Cause talk is cheap  
And remember me tonight  
When you're asleep_

A sigh escaped Helga's lips and this time she didn't fight it. Even if she was wrong and this was just some arbitrary song, perhaps the idea of it meaning more than that could be enough to give her the courage to tell Arnold everything without reservation.

She skimmed over the remaining lyrics which repeated the chorus, her eyes resting on the last lines of the song.

_Because a girl like you is impossible to find  
You're impossible to find._

Helga sighed again and got up from her desk, carrying her phone in one hand as she flopped back onto her bed, her eyes dreamy and lovesick. Her hands trembled with nervousness and excitement as her heart raced. Just the idea alone. Maybe she was crazy, maybe he hadn't meant anything by it. But those lyrics… It just seemed so right…

She had to text him.

It was going on 10:30 when Helga finally sent Arnold a message, having painstakingly written, erased, and rewritten her message at least three times.

**That sucks. Good song choice.**

That was simple and didn't give much away, right? She certainly wasn't about to tell Arnold _everything _over a text message and especially not when she didn't even know if he had his phone with him at the moment.

As the minutes ticked on without a response, Helga debated whether or not she should call him. It had been fifteen minutes and her phone was silent as could be. She didn't want to appear desperate or weird though so she waited, impatiently, hoping he'd respond soon.

**Hey, sorry I fell asleep. Yeah, I thought so. :) **

_A smiley face! A smiley face?! Is that supposed to mean something? Maybe he's just in a good mood… but he's Arnold; it's not like it's totally out of the realm of possibility for him to put a smiley face just for the hell of it. It's not a winky face so maybe it's just a smile? Like a, 'I am in a pleasant mood', kinda thing. Right? Gah, I CAN'T HANDLE THIS ANYMORE._

**Are you busy? Could I come over and talk to you about something?**

Helga hit send before she could change her mind or waste time agonizing over her wording. A few minutes later, Arnold responded and Helga half-heartedly cursed him for taking so long between messages.

**Is everything ok?**

**Um, yeah. I just wanted to tell you something and I'd rather not text it.**

Another few minutes. Damnit, Arnold.

**Could you tell me in the morning? I'm falling asleep, I'm sorry.**

Helga slumped against her pillow with a huff. Okay, she could work with this. She'd catch Arnold in the morning. He wouldn't be with Lila since they aren't dating. She could pull him aside and tell him before first period. That could work.

She groaned thinking about the possibility of someone at school overhearing, though. Or worse, what if Arnold told someone while they were at school and then she'd be stuck there all day, free game to the taunting and teasing of her peers. But no, it didn't matter. She had to do it and no matter what, the next time she saw Arnold she was going to tell him.

"Olga!" Big Bob's called from downstairs, pulling Helga out of her thoughts. Rolling her eyes, she crawled out of bed and walked over to her bedroom door just as her father yelled, "Grab some pillows and a blanket outta our room. Your mother's crashin' on the couch tonight,"

"There's a shocker," Helga muttered to herself as she went into her parents' room to retrieve the requested bedding. After quickly running it downstairs and grumbling on her way back to her room, Helga sat back down on her bed and grabbed her phone. She then texted Arnold 'That's fine' and proceeded to get ready for bed. She'd already changed, brushed her teeth, and crawled under the covers in her darkened room when her phone buzzed on the nightstand. Helga's hand groped the table for the device, almost dropping it on her face as she lifted it up to see. Another message from Arnold.

**Goodnight :)**

**[Kind of already credited the song in this chapter so I think y'all know what's up. Also, I'm sorry this chapter's on the shorter side. Again, it seemed like a good stopping point before the ending and you know me: I'm always crazy excited to share my story developments as soon as I write them :)]**


	10. Chapter 10

**[A/N: THE MOMENT WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR! IT'S FINALLY DONE, AHHHHHHHHHH! I'm freaking out.**

**But anyway, just go ahead and read and I'll make comments at the end ^_^]**

**March 23****rd**

The scents, sounds, and sights of Spring were blossoming as Helga walked out of the house that morning. The air was warm but there was a chilly breeze that came and went and Helga zipped her jacket up halfway to block out the wind. She had intended to leave the house a little bit earlier that day so as to catch Arnold before any of their friends tried to talk to him but that had fallen through. As soon as she'd come down the stairs her mom had needed help getting to the bathroom. The painkillers she was on made her even more loopy and off-balance than usual so Helga had supported Miriam's weight on one shoulder as she hobbled to the bathroom, one crutch supporting her on the opposite side.

Helga had left her mom lying on the couch with the TV remote, a bag of chips and a gallon jug of tea. She wasn't supposed to have alcohol while she was taking the painkillers but the cynical side of Helga wouldn't have been surprised if she came home to Miriam sprawled out on the floor because she'd tried to hobble over to the liquor cabinet on her own.

As Helga walked to school, she contemplated everything that had been going on.

_Okay, when I get there, I'm just gonna pull him aside and tell him. Simple as that. _Just the thought of confessing to Arnold made her heart pound in her chest. _Or actually… maybe I could ask him to come out with me after school. As long as I kept him away from the bowling alley and away from Lila's street, he should be fine, right? Then I could tell him my secret and not worry about anyone at school finding out! At least not right away… but maybe Arnold wouldn't spill the beans. He didn't before, right? But I mean, there was so much going on at the time, my little um… outburst… probably ranked low compared to everything else. Gah, why don't they give you some kind of user's manual when you get second chances like this? Um, hello up there? Is there an Idiot's Guide to Time-Travel Do-Overs? Criminy… Oh well, it… it should be okay.I just have to put my big girl panties on and handle this like a Pataki. Fear is the enemy. Take no prisoners. Ugh, I sound like I'm going into battle rather than contemplating my undying love for this stupid football-head. I'm gonna need a miracle._

By the time Helga finally got to school, Arnold was already surrounded by their friends talking and laughing. Phoebe, Gerald, Rhonda, Nadine, and Arnold were standing in a circle several feet away from the building's main entrance. As Helga got closer, she found herself smiling as she gazed upon Arnold's face. She couldn't hear their conversation but she could hear him laugh. It was warm and soft, like a blanket she wished to wrap herself in as she sat in front of a cozy fireplace on a snowy day. If by some cruel fate she was unable to keep him from death's clutches, it was this image of him she'd carry with her – Arnold's happiness, radiating out and warming the hearts of everyone it touched.

"Good morning, Helga!" Phoebe called out and Helga ignored the uncomfortable sense of de ja vu she experienced as she approached the group.

"Hey Pheebs," Helga greeted her best friend with a half-smile as Phoebe ushered her into the circle. "What's up?"

"Oh, we're just discussing spring break," Phoebe chimed.

"It sounds like you guys had fun," Nadine commented.

Helga took a deep breath. "Hey Arnold, you got a minute?" _Just ask him to meet you somewhere after school. It's not that big a deal. Totally chill. Nothing to freak out about. _Helga tried to reassure herself despite the way her hands trembled in her pockets.

"Oh yeah, sure," He said, stepping out of the group.

"Hold up," Gerald called as Arnold was about to follow Helga. "You still down for the bowling alley, right?"

"_No!" _Helga screeched, then clamped a hand over her mouth. "I mean, uhh…hehe…" She chuckled nervously. "I mean, why would you want to go to the _bowling alley? _It's dirty and over-priced and… and…" She scrambled for something convincing as her peers eyed her strangely. "And we haven't done karaoke at the club yet! That'd be my vote," She nodded, as if she hadn't just freaked out like a complete lunatic.

Rhonda gave Helga an unimpressed once-over. "And who, pray-tell, insinuated that you were included in this plan?"

"Rhonda," Arnold said in a scolding voice. "Don't be rude. Of course she's included; she's our friend!"

"Pfft," Rhonda scoffed, rolling her eyes as she conceded. "_Whatever,"_

"I'm fine with karaoke," Phoebe piped up sweetly.

Gerald shrugged and nodded. "Cool with me,"

"I'll text Lila and let her know the change in venue," Nadine said, whipping her cell phone out of her jacket pocket.

"So what did you wanna tell me, Helga?" Arnold said to Helga, snapping her attention away from the group standing a few feet away.

"Oh, uh!" She stammered. "Actually…" _Wait a minute… this could be perfect. God, I love my subconscious. The perfect way to confess to Arnold! I'll find a song – the perfect song! – and tonight at karaoke I'll sing it and he'll instantly know but then I'll pull him aside once everyone has gone home and confess and it will be beautiful, perfect, and everything he deserves. I'll keep him with me the whole time so there's never any danger of him getting hurt and he won't die and everything will be FINE! Man, what a great plan! _

"Um, Helga?" Arnold waved a hand in front of Helga's face and she snapped out of her daze.

"Huh?!" She startled. "What? Oh, um, sorry… actually, I'll tell you tonight! You're gonna come to karaoke, right?"

Arnold smiled, "Yeah, it sounds like fun. I'm surprised you suggested that; I didn't know you liked to sing,"

Helga flushed slightly. "Oh, uh, I-I, I mean, it's _okay_," She put on a nonchalant air. "It's mostly fun to watch people get up and make fools out of themselves, you know…"

"Whatever you say, Helga," Arnold shook his head, smiling.

"You better believe it," Helga smirked. "So you're definitely gonna come?"

Arnold chuckled, "Yeah, I'll come,"

The first period warning bell sounded, signaling it was time to head to class, and most of the students congregated outside began to disperse and head toward the main doors.

"Okay, good," Helga nodded in a business-like manner and started walking toward the entrance as Arnold fell into step alongside her.

Helga fought to withhold the girlish grin that threatened to overtake her face, accompanied by a swoon, at the realization that Arnold was actually _walking her to class. _

_Oh Arnold, if you only knew the way my heart trembles and cries out for you… Alas, you soon will, my love. _

"This is my stop," Helga looked up at the door leading to her history classroom. "Um, I guess I'll see you later… right?"

"Right," Arnold nodded, smiling. "I'll see you later, Helga,"

"Bye," Helga said, her hand giving a small wave as she watched him continue down the hallway before she finally let out the deep sigh she'd been holding in.

. . . . . . . .

The rest of the day went by without incident. Helga was anxiously waiting to get out of school and figure out the details of her plan for the evening - namely, the song she was going to use to confess her love for Arnold. Even if she was terribly wrong and jumping to conclusions, she used the giddy lovesickness spurred on by the notion that the song Arnold sent her was supposed to mean something to break through her own doubt and nervousness.

When the final bell rang, Helga burst out the door and down the hall while the bell's final echoes bounced against the walls. She certainly wasn't looking forward to going home and playing nursemaid to Miriam's stupefied self but she was abuzz with nerves and excitement for Arnold. She'd managed to convince herself that as long as he stayed with her he would be fine so she was trying not to let worry consume her. Instead, it rested in the back of her mind, trying to nip at her as she swatted it away, paying attention to more pleasant things. Everything was going to be perfect. This night was going to be completely different if she had anything to do with it. And she did. She definitely did.

Lost in her thoughts and just as she was rounding the final turn before getting to the lobby, Helga crashed into someone and stumbled backwards.

"Arnold!" She yelped, then clamped her hand over her mouth, the sense of de ja vu feeling particularly strange once again.

"Sorry, Helga!" Arnold said, readjusting his backpack which he'd been carrying over one shoulder. "I wasn't paying attention,"

"I-It's fine," Helga snapped back to attention. "No harm done,"

"So I'll see you at the karaoke club in a few hours?" Arnold asked, smiling, as she started walking toward the main doors and he walked alongside her.

"Yeah," Helga nodded. "8 pm,"

"Cool," Arnold grinned at her and as they exited the building, their paths separated. "See you tonight,"

_If you don't show up at 8 pm sharp, I'll be dragging your ass there myself by 8:01. _Helga thought to herself, smiling at him as he walked away.

. . . . . . . .

Despite Helga's initial protests, she'd agreed to ride along with Phoebe and Gerald to the karaoke club. Not that she really disliked Gerald – he _was _her best friend's boyfriend, after all – but they'd never had the best of relationships and she thought it was awkward. Which it had been, but it hadn't been _that_ big a deal. Everyone met up outside of the karaoke bar before going in. Nadine and Lila had ridden along with Rhonda in her family's limo and Stinky and Harold had caught a ride with Arnold in his grandpa's Packard.

The place wasn't as crowded as it usually was during open mic nights but there was still a pretty good turnout. The gang found a couple tables close to the stage and settled in, pulling over a couple extra chairs to accommodate the large group.

There was a DJ off to the side of the stage with a computer set up on a big black case, probably what the karaoke screen and stand had been stored in. There were extra speakers set up on each side of the stage toward the front and two microphones hung from little clasps on either side of the karaoke stand.

"Alright folks, you know what to do," The DJ spoke into his own personal microphone. "Books are goin' around, grab a slip of paper and a pencil and write your name and song number on the sheet,"

Nadine reached for one of the books that was sitting in the middle of their table. "Do you guys have anything in mind?" She asked as she perused the pages of the book.

Helga waited a moment before showing interest in the book – she didn't want to appear too eager. Meanwhile she noticed Arnold had found a book and the guys started to discuss as well.

_Please be in here… _Helga silently prayed as she flipped through the pages of the karaoke book for the song she'd chosen earlier that afternoon. She knew she could sing it because it wasn't terribly complicated and it seemed like a good song to pour her heart into – or at least, well, it was a start. _Yes, it's here! Thank god… now I just gotta hope that the person who goes before me sounds like a dying cat so that I don't look like a buffoon up there._

Helga, Nadine, Gerald, and Stinky all went up and put their names in for the first round and as they waited their turns, they settled down at the tables to chat.

_Oh come on… _Helga griped in her head as she watched person after person go up to sing. She wasn't sure how many people were ahead of her – she hadn't watched to see when or how many other people submitted their names. She leaned an elbow against the table and rested her head in that hand tapping her fingers impatiently against the tabletop as she watched.

"So Lila," Stinky drawled. "How's Sid doin' today? I didn't see him in school,"

Lila looked at him and gave a small smile. "He's tired but doing better. He says he caught some type of bug and couldn't keep anything down. I'll certainly let him know that you asked about him, though," She said sweetly.

"What song did you pick?" Arnold tapped Helga on her shoulder as someone up on stage serenaded the crowd with an off-key version of 'Don't Stop Believin'.

Helga jumped out of her skin at Arnold's touch. "What! Oh, umm…" She paused, blushing the slightest bit but thankful that the lighting was relatively dim. "You'll see," A small smirk crept across her lips.

"I'll see?" Arnold chuckled. "Is it a surprise or something?"

Helga felt a familiar flutter in her chest, a boldness she wasn't used to… but she liked it. "Maybe," She looked away innocently and Arnold smiled which only caused her blush to deepen.

"Stinky, where is Stinky?" The DJ called up as the other singer left the stage. "You're up, Stinky,"

"Garsh, that didn't take too long at all!" Stinky said as he stood and went up on stage.

"Hey uhh, Arnold?" Helga spoke quietly as Stinky began to sing a country song. The table they were sitting at had emptied out relative to the other one when Stinky went up on stage and Lila went to the bathroom.

"Yeah?" Arnold responded, glancing at her as he watched his friend sing.

"Remember that uhh… that _thing _I wanted to talk to you about?" She asked nervously, wringing her hands together under the table.

Arnold nodded. "Yeah,"

"It's umm…" She took a slow breath in and out. "It's kind of… _personal_… maybe after everyone's done here… youandIcouldtalkaloneforalittlebit?" Her words rolled out like they were stuck together with glue. Her heart was thumping in her chest and she only hoped Arnold couldn't tell how nervous she was… then again, she felt like she was looking and sounding like a loon so who knew?

Arnold looked at her like he was trying to figure her out… or maybe he was just intrigued? Either way, he responded, "Sure, that's fine," and Helga quietly let out a breath.

Lila came back from the bathroom and Stinky returned to their table after he finished singing and another person went up on stage to murder 'I Will Survive'.

Helga could feel every nerve in her body tingling as time passed. She'd be up on stage soon and the anxiety made her mouth feel dry, her throat tight and she wondered if she'd just get up on stage and make a fool out of herself. She'd never considered herself a remarkable singer but that wasn't what karaoke was for, right? As long as she didn't sound worse than some of the people who'd gone up tonight then it'd be alright. Besides, she sang in the shower once in a while and she might not have been anything amazing but she could at least carry a note.

"Alright everybody, give it up for Helga!" The DJ called out to the crowd.

"You're up, Helga!" Lila patted Helga on the shoulder and smiled as Helga climbed out of her seat.

"Good luck," Arnold smiled at her and Helga thought her knees might buckle.

A surge of adrenaline had Helga's chest feeling tight and hollow, her blood pressure pulsing, and every fine blonde hair on her arms was standing on end. She climbed the steps to the stage and took one of the microphones from their little clasp on the karaoke stand, waiting for the song to begin.

Her heart pounding in her chest made her feel like she could pass out and she willed herself to calm down.

_This is the moment of truth. I can do this… I can do this… I can do this… _Helga repeated over and over again in her head as the song began and she waited for her cue.

"Heart beats fast, colors and promises," Helga's voice shook as her hands gripping the mic trembled. "How to be brave? How can I love when I'm afraid to fall? But watching you stand alone, all of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow,"

As she slowly eased into her words, the stage lights obscuring her view of the audience, her voice started to shake less.

"One step closer…" She sang softly. "I have died every day waiting for you. Darling, don't be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years, I'll love you for a thousand more,"

Helga couldn't see her friends' faces very well or consistently but at one point she found Arnold's eyes and it could've been her imagination playing tricks on her but the look on his face made her believe he understood and that sent a shiver down her spine. She took a deep breath as the next verse approached.

"Time stands still, beauty in all she is. I will be brave, I will not let anything take away what's standing in front of me. Every breath, every hour has come to this," She was starting to become more comfortable in her voice. It helped that she couldn't see everyone's faces terribly well. She could deny it later but the whole thing felt… cathartic. "One… step… closer…"

_This is it, I'm doing it. I'm really doing it. _Helga marveled as she breezed through the chorus again. Even though she was, in a way, hiding behind the lyrics of a song, in her heart she was baring her soul to Arnold. Every emotion that'd lain repressed and shackled inside her was finding its key and flying away, floating atop the notes carried out of the speakers.

"And all along I believed I would find you, time has brought your heart to me. I have loved you for a thousand years, I'll love you for a thousand more," Helga sang passionately now, using the melody to purge herself of the pent up passion and love she'd harbored for so long.

Arnold was watching Helga with a look of perplexity, yet recognition, as her song went into an instrumental interlude. Something seemed to click. But he was distracted when Lila suddenly scooted her chair back from the table, her face contorted.

"Lila, are you okay?" Arnold asked but she didn't respond right away.

Arnold asked again, "Lila, what's wrong?" Lila shook her head and promptly vomited all over the floor, including Arnold's feet and the bottoms of his jeans.

The noise caught the attention of their friends as well as some of the people around them and most reacted with looks and comments of disgust.

"_Shit_, man," Gerald said when he noticed what had happened.

Helga was unaware of what was happening from her position on the stage. She could see some of her friends moving around but the lights in her eyes were bright and it was hard to tell who was who in the crowd.

"That is _disgusting!_" Rhonda turned up her nose and scooted her chair away, even though she was already seated at the next table over on the farthest side.

Lila moaned softly, clutching her stomach. "I'm sorry, Arnold," She uttered almost inaudibly.

"I-It's okay," Arnold said, trying to suppress his own disgust and ignore the nauseating smell coming from the floor and his shoes. He winced when he felt the liquid soak through the ankles of his pants.

"You should probably take her home," Nadine whispered loud enough for Arnold to hear her from across the two tables.

"Yeah, and change your clothes, man," Gerald said, scrunching up his nose.

Arnold nodded as he slowly stood up, trying not to think about the moist feeling in his shoes when he took a step. "Come on, Lila," He said, moving to help her get out of her chair. "Let's get you home,"

Lila nodded and allowed Arnold to usher her out of the club. "Hey Phoebe," Arnold caught the petite brunette's attention. "Could you let Helga know I'll be right back?"

Something seemed to click in Phoebe's mind and she shook her head. "Actually Arnold, perhaps you should wait?" She said quickly, trying to keep him as long as she could.

Arnold looked at her dubiously. "For what?"

"Oh, umm…" Phoebe stalled, trying to think of something. Even though she doubted Helga's worries, she still felt uneasy about Arnold leaving. Logically, she didn't think there was anything to be concerned about but she knew Helga would freak out if he left. "Does… does anyone have cab money?" Phoebe looked around at their friends, somewhat desperate.

"You wanna send Lila off in a cab when she's sick?" Gerald asked, incredulous. "Phoebe, that's a little rude…"

"Or _we_ could take her home?" Phoebe offered.

"Let the man change his clothes!" Harold chimed in. "For all our sakes…"

"I'll be right back, I swear," Arnold said, heeding no one and helping Lila outside to his car.

As Helga's song faded out and the audience clapped for her, she replaced the microphone to its clasp and hurried down the stage steps.

"Ugh!" She exclaimed when she noticed the puddle of vomit on the floor. "What the hell?" She asked, then looked around. "Where's Arnold?" She whispered intensely into Phoebe's ear just as Phoebe stood up to meet her.

"He went to take Lila home!"

"What?" Helga's face blanched. _No, no, no, no, no… _"Why didn't you stop him?!"

"She threw up on him!" Phoebe exclaimed, though still trying to keep her voice down so that their conversation would remain somewhat private. "I tried to keep him from going but he said he'd be right back and he left!"

Without another word, Helga bolted out of the club and down the street, hoping she was following the same path Arnold had taken.

. . . . . . . .

Lila had texted her father on the way home to let him know she was sick so when Arnold pulled up in front of the house, he was already in the doorway waiting.

"Thank you, Arnold," Lila said weakly, clutching the old paper grocery bag Arnold had given her in case she needed to get sick again on the way home. "I'm… I'm so sorry about your shoes,"

"It's okay, Lila," Arnold said briefly. He really wanted to hurry up and change. "I hope you feel better,"

Arnold watched Lila meet her father at the door and sped off in the direction of home. He hadn't been driving for long, however, before he heard a loud pop and the car started to wobble, gradually slowing to a stop as Arnold struggled to control the car's direction.

"What?" Arnold exclaimed, getting out of the car and looking at the blown front driver's side tire. The streetlight above his head was burnt out and he reached into the car for the flashlight his grandpa kept under the seat. "No!" He groaned when he flipped the switch on, illuminating the mangled tire as he knelt down to inspect it. There was a large gash in the rubber where it had blown but it didn't appear that the rim had been affected.

Arnold didn't notice two shadowy figures approaching from the darkened alley behind him.

. . . . . . . .

_No, god, please no! _Helga was on the verge of tears as she ran. What would have been only a five minute drive took longer on foot than Helga cared to think about. _Please be okay, please be okay… _Helga pleaded in her head, panting as she pushed her legs to keep going.

She traced the quickest route she knew to Lila's house, surveying the area for any sign of Arnold, Lila, or the Packard. When she got to Lila's house and saw the light on in what she remembered to be Lila's room, she sprinted in the direction of Arnold's house. Her heart was pounding and her legs were begging her to slow down but the sinking feeling of dread pushed her on. She couldn't stop. She felt like she couldn't breathe and she wasn't sure if that was because of how hard she was running or whether it was fear consuming her from the inside out.

As she turned down one street, she saw the silhouette of a car up ahead, parked on the left hand side of the road beneath a broken streetlight.

_Arnold… _Helga's heart sank into her stomach and she willed herself to run faster but her legs wouldn't allow her to go any faster than she'd already gone. She stopped abruptly at the car, barely keeping herself from colliding hard into the vehicle as she panted, scouring the inside for Arnold.

Helga turned around just as she heard the sound of something rustling up against a trashcan in the dark alley.

"Arnold!" She cried out, unable to fight her tears any longer. She darted over to where he was lying between two trash cans. His eye was beginning to swell and darken and there was a large blood stain on his shirt that was widening with every breath he took. Helga could see the movement of Arnold's blood beneath the fabric before it soaked into the texture of his shirt. She felt dizzy and there was nothing left holding her back from sobbing.

"Helga," Arnold said weakly, his voice raspy and his breaths haggard and shallow.

"Don't speak," She shook her head, tears falling and mixing with the blood in his shirt as she gently put a finger to his lips. "Y-You're gonna be okay," She whimpered as she fumbled with her jacket, trying to figure out where she'd put her phone before dialing 9-1-1.

"9-1-1 operator, what is your emergency?" A woman answered on the other line.

Helga cleared her throat and tried to speak clearly though her own breathing was punctuated by suppressed sobs. "I'm in an alley between 43rd and Main Street. My friend has been attacked and he's bleeding out. Please hurry!" Helga hung up the phone and grabbed Arnold's hand. It was still warm and blood that had gotten on it was now drying onto Helga's palm. His eyelids were heavy and his chest shuddered with every breath.

"I'm so sorry, Arnold," Helga cried painfully, her voice breaking as she held his hand close to her face. "Please hold on, _please_ hold on,"

"It's… it's okay, Helga," Arnold's voice was small and thin, his eyes barely open but he slowly turned his head in her direction.

Helga wordlessly, vigorously shook her head as more tears trickled down the sides of her face. "Arnold, I… I… I love you," The words, finally out in the open, made her feel like she'd had the wind knocked out of her. "I've always loved you. I-I'm _so sorry. _Y-you mean everything to me and I'm a _fucking _idiot. An idiot and a coward," Helga dragged in a haggard breath and cried as she exhaled. "Ever since the day we've met you've been… you have no idea how… y-you saved me, Arnold and… and I couldn't save you…" Helga clutched Arnold's hand tighter, bringing it up to her face again and kissing his knuckles as her tears slid down her cheeks and neck. Her blonde hair fell ungracefully over her, forming a veil of sorts as strands stuck to the salty trails running down her face. "I love you, Arnold. I _love _you," She whispered into his hand and was mildly startled when she felt him move his hand. He'd been silent up until this point and she wasn't even sure if he'd heard her but he reached up, his arm shaking as he cupped her face with his hand and attempted to wipe at a tear with his thumb.

"I know," he rasped and Helga felt like a wave had picked her up and crashed down on her.

"Y-you do?!" She asked, incredulously, her voice shaking as his hand fell and she scooped it back up in her own.

He didn't respond right away and Helga pushed, "Arnold?!"

"_I feel dizzy," _He said, his eyelids fluttering closed just as Helga heard sirens in the distance.

"Hold on, Arnold!" She demanded, giving his hand a tight squeeze. "The paramedics are almost here. Hold _on, _Football-head, _please!_" Her voice rose in pitch and she gingerly caressed the side of his face with one hand. "_Please don't leave me," _She whispered inaudibly.

The ambulance pulled up next to the Packard and three paramedics jumped out. One rolled a stretcher over to the edge of the alley as the other two immediately took their positions on either side of Arnold. Helga reluctantly let go of Arnold's hand and watched with a heavy heart as the paramedics checked him out.

"He's going into shock, we gotta get him to the hospital," the man said.

Another listened to his breathing, "Right lung's collapsed," She said and the two of them carefully lifted Arnold onto the stretcher. Helga felt deep pangs in her heart as she watched Arnold wince when they moved him.

The paramedic who had brought the stretcher over addressed her, "Are you family?" He asked.

Helga opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. Her eyes were watching Arnold as the paramedics lifted the stretcher into the ambulance. The last thing she saw was a tuft of yellow hair disappearing inside the vehicle. "I-I'm… no, I'm his friend," She managed.

"I'm sorry but only family can ride along," the paramedic looked at her sympathetically. "Does he have any family you can contact?"

"Please let me come!" Helga grabbed the paramedic by the collar and a new wave of tears flooded her eyes. "_Please!" _She begged but the man took a step back, gently removing her hands from his shirt.

"I'm sorry, we've got to get him to the hospital," He said as he jogged toward the ambulance. "You can meet us there,"

Helga ran to the back of the ambulance and looked up into the brightly lit vehicle. They'd already hooked Arnold up with an oxygen mask and had his vitals up on a monitor.

"Arnold!" Helga cried out painfully and the doors closed just as she ran up to them. She fell against the doors and sobbed, her eyes blurry with tears. "Please don't die!" The bright white light of the ambulance was blinding and slowly everything started to feel far away. "Don't go! Don't leave me!" She called out and all she could see was the fluorescent lights shining through two small windows. The ambulances siren started to wail and Helga fell into a heap in the street, her shoulders shaking with her cries. She looked up again and the light seemed brighter, its beams widening farther and farther out as the siren became a distant echo.

_I just want you to know who I am…_

_I just want you to know who I am…_

_I just want you to know who I am…_

"What is that?" Helga whimpered, her face falling into a scowl as she looked around. All she could see was white.

_I just want you to know who I am…_

"Where is that stupid song coming from now? Why do I keep hearing it? What does it… mean …" Her voice trailed off as the whiteness around her became blinding and then faded to black.

_I just want you to know who I am…_

. . . . . . . .

_I just want you to know who I am…_

Light. More light. Too bright. It was hurting her eyes and they weren't even open. At least, she didn't think they were open.

_I just want you to know who I am…_

Pain. Where was it coming from? She could feel her face wince.

_I just want you to know who I am…_

_"She's waking up!" _Someone's voice. Who was that?

"_Is she gonna be okay?"_

_"Finally!"_

_"Give her some space, guys,"_

Helga slowly opened her eyes and the light became brighter. She squinted and realized it was her head that was hurting. Something hard was pressed up against the back of her head and as she gradually got her bearings, she realized it was the floor. A hardwood floor. Her ears trained on the familiar melody slowly fading out and being replaced by a more upbeat song with a strong bassline.

She turned on her side, slowly so as not to disturb her head too much. It felt like someone had put her head in a vice. Facing away from the light she cautiously let her eyes flutter open again and the first thing she saw was confirmation that she was indeed on a wooden floor. She had tunnel vision and as her eyes trained on the pattern in the hardwood, she also realized that she was wet. Not just wet. Soaked. Her clothes were heavy against her skin and she felt cold. A shiver swept across her body and she instinctively pulled her knees up to her chest for warmth. It was then that she noticed she was wearing a brown dress.

_Wasn't I wearing jeans? Why am I wearing a dress? Why am I wet?_

"_Helga," _A soft voice. It was comfortable and warm, like sunshine on her face. "_Helga, can you hear me?" _Pressure on her shoulder. Someone touching her. _"Helga, are you okay?"_

The light was becoming less intense and Helga slowly lifted her lids again, her vision widening bit by bit. She looked at her shoulder. It was a hand. A dark sleeve covered the arm it was attached to as water dripped from the cuff.

_"Helga?"_

That voice. She turned toward the voice, blinking and squinting as she faced the light again. A soft white glow outlined unruly tufts of yellow and she imagined herself in a field in autumn, dry yellow grass stalks wafting in the wind.

_"Helga, say something,"_

Helga reached up and wiped her eyes, then looked again in the direction of the voice and other features came into focus one by one. A round nose. Green jellybeans. Something blue. Football.

_"Perhaps she should see a doctor,"_

"Arnold," Helga said dreamily, finally putting words to what she saw. "… _ARNOLD?!"_ She suddenly exclaimed and the boy jumped back. Helga tried to sit up quickly but a sudden rush of blood to her brain made her dizzy and her head thumped with pain.

"Don't try to get up yet," Arnold said gently. His hair was wet and partially slicked back with random tufts sticking up in different directions. "You hit your head pretty hard,"

"But no, wait a minute," Helga said, confused and shaking her head slightly as she leaned back against the floor. "What—but you—you're _alive_?"

Arnold looked taken aback and gave her a strange look. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

Helga took a moment to look around and she finally realized they weren't alone. She could see Rhonda, Gerald, Eugene, Phoebe and most of their gang standing around or near her. They were all dripping wet and a few had towels wrapped around their shoulders. And they all looked so young…

_What's going on? _Helga wondered and with a sudden realization, she slapped her hands down onto her chest. "I don't have boobs!" She exclaimed.

Arnold's face pinkened slightly and he averted his gaze to the floor. "Umm…"

Helga tried to get up again, slowly rolling over onto her stomach and propping her upper body up with her elbows. Her head surged with pain and she winced at the pressure. "What's going on?" She asked, gritting her teeth and willing the pain to go away. "Why does my head hurt so bad?"

"You uh…" Arnold began. "You slipped and fell… and hit your head,"

"Huh?" Helga asked, still not clear or how she got to where she was. And how was Arnold okay? Was this even real? "I don't… why are you… but you were _bleeding_!"

His hand was on her shoulder again. It felt real. God, she hoped this was real.

"I'm okay, Helga," He said. "But I think we're gonna take you to see a doctor,"

"No, no," Helga shook her head, closing her eyes as the movement irritated her headache. "I'm fine. What's going on?"

Then she noticed her arms. The sleeves of her dress were long and a muted shade of tan. _Wait a minute… _She started to put the pieces together and looked to the right of her, past the legs of the people standing around here. There was water on the hardwood floor and balloons on the walls. A soft bluish glow was coming from a gap in the floor several feet away.

_A pool… a POOL! _Suddenly everything clicked.

"We're at the dance!" Helga turned and exclaimed to Arnold who was kneeling beside her. "The April Fool's dance!"

"Yeah," He nodded, his eyes still wary of her behavior but concerned for her well-being. "That's good, you remember,"

"And you're alive and… Lila's not sick ... and… and Phoebe's not dating Gerald…" Helga said as everything came together. She didn't notice young Phoebe blush or Gerald throw a quick, bashful glance to the petite girl standing next to him.

"Yeah, Helga," Arnold said, patting her shoulder. "Everything's okay. Principal Wartz is trying to get maintenance to come up and close the pool because it got stuck or something and Mr. Simmons just went outside to call your parents,"

As her headache slowly began to dull, Helga turned over to sit, moving slowly so as not to cause another rush of pain. "Pfft," She scoffed. "Good luck with _that _one," Helga recalled how Miriam had actually broken her leg the day before after falling down the basement steps.

"Helga, I am _so _sorry about this," Arnold said, rubbing the back of his neck. It was strange looking at him as she was still adjusting to everyone's pre-pubescent appearances. "It's my fault you fell. If I hadn't gotten Gerald to open the pool then you wouldn't have slipped when we got out," He sighed, looking down at the floor between them.

By this point, many of their classmates had spread out since the drama seemed to be over. Helga was awake, talking, and relatively aware of what was going on around her so they went about their business – getting punch, socializing, some eventually began to dance again.

Phoebe and Gerald were still standing close by and Helga addressed her friend, "Hey Pheebs," She waved her friend over and Phoebe knelt down by Helga, opposite Arnold.

"Yes, Helga?"

Helga put a hand on her shoulder. "I… I know I don't say this enough… but you're a great friend,"

Phoebe smiled and leaned in to hug the blonde girl. "Gosh, thanks Helga," She pulled away and eyed her carefully. "Are you sure you're feeling alright?"

"My head's killing me but other than that, I… I guess I'm alright…" Helga sighed.

"I'll see if there's a first-aid kit anywhere in here," Phoebe stood up. "Perhaps it would have some medicine for your pain. Arnold, she really should go to a doctor to check for a concussion,"

Arnold, who had been staring at Helga in surprise at the sentimental moment unfolding before him shook his head, snapping to attention, then nodded at Phoebe. "Yeah,"

"Really, I'm fine you guys…" Helga said, pulling her legs into a cross-legged position and biting back an involuntary wince when the movement jostled her head. Phoebe didn't pay her any mind and instead went in search of a first aid kit with Gerald in tow. With Arnold kneeling beside her and the crowd around them having dissipated, Helga suddenly felt shy and awkward. Arnold wasn't looking at her but he was still crouched down next to her, watching over her. His gaze had drifted to the double doors leading out of the gymnasium. "Hey Arnold?" Helga swallowed, speaking in a small voice that immediately caught the boy's attention.

"Yeah?" He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Could we um… could I talk to you about something?" She could feel her heart quicken in her chest.

"Um, sure," Arnold shrugged.

Holding her head, Helga carefully moved to try and stand. "Not here,"

Arnold quickly moved to spot her in case she stumbled or slipped again. "Helga, maybe you shouldn't get up yet,"

"I'm not an _invalid, _Football-head," She rolled her eyes and shakily got up, supporting herself on both feet with Arnold on her side. He was shorter than her again and it seemed so _weird_.

"Where do you want to go?" Arnold asked as Helga started leading them out of the YMAA gym doors. She didn't answer but instead walked down a hallway away from where their classmates would come around. As they passed the outer doors, Helga could see Mr. Simmons was just outside with a cell phone pressed to his ear.

They finally stopped in a stairwell at the end of the hall and Helga moved away from Arnold's hold to sit down on the steps. There were two double doors separating the hallway from the stairwell and only one of them was open. Arnold watched her seat herself and leaned against the metal railing with one arm. "What is it?" He asked.

Helga bit her lip and clasped her hands together, looking up briefly to make sure no one was approaching or near this end of the hallway. The stairs and landings above them were silent.

"I… I had this really crazy dream…" She said, not looking up at him once. "Hey umm… how long as I out?"

Arnold considered for a moment, "A few minutes, I think. I'm not sure. It felt like a while, though. That's why everyone was so worried,"

Diverting from her original intention, Helga asked another question. "What happened to the weird disco music from earlier?"

"Principal Wartz tried to change the CD while he was dripping wet from the pool and it stopped working," Arnold answered matter-of-factly. "Mr. Simmons was able to dry it out but it wouldn't play CDs anymore so he put on this mix radio station,"

"That explains all those songs…" Helga said aloud, more to herself than to Arnold.

"What songs?" Arnold quirked his head.

Helga shook her head and waved him off. "Nothing, just parts of my dream. This one song – Iris? Did that one come on at any point?"

"Yeah, I think that was the playing when you were waking up," Arnold nodded.

_That makes sense! _Helga thought to herself, finally putting puzzle pieces together.

"Hey Helga?" Arnold broke her from her internal realizations. "Why did you ask me if I was alive?"

Helga's eyes widened and she froze. "Umm… what?"

"When you were first waking up, you asked me if I was alive… uhh… what… what were you dreaming about?" He asked uncertainly.

"Oh, uh," Helga stammered. "Nothing," She said innocently but by the look on his face, Arnold wasn't buying it. Helga sighed. Maybe it was the emotional charge of her dream still lingering in her head and her heart but for whatever reason she didn't feel as inclined to be secretive anymore. At least not right now. "You were attacked," She said quietly, her eyes cast down as she fidgeted with her hands.

"Oh," Arnold said and there was a pause between them.

Sitting in the empty stairwell, Helga felt strangely open. She'd spent the day "torturing" Arnold and making him believe she had been blinded by his April Fool's prank. They'd danced a pretty intense tango in the gym earlier that had made her heart flutter in ways she hadn't felt before. It had been several months since she confessed her secret to Arnold at FTI. Just under a year as opposed to the many years Helga had wasted in her dream. Memories from the dream seemed so vivid. So real. And she didn't want that reality.

Over the past several months she'd shamelessly pranked and taunted Arnold and for the most part, he'd ignored her in his typical good-natured way. What if it never stopped? What if he got sick of putting up with her and she continued to dig herself a deeper hole as she alienated herself from her friends and from the most important person in her life?

Maybe she was drunk off of her dream, riding the tail end of the emotional realism that had wracked her heart. But she somehow felt safe here and the walls guarding her heart began to ebb. To the best of her knowledge, Arnold hadn't told anyone about what happened at FTI. No one had teased or taunted her. It was as if it had never happened. She had to make things right, though. She couldn't spend the remaining school years together fighting to put up this mask and keep everything she held dear at bay.

"I was scared," Helga swallowed, her cheeks pinkening as she nervously tapped her feet against the steps. "In the dream,"

This was unusual. Arnold didn't often see this side of Helga and she looked so… vulnerable right now, so soft. The last time he'd seen her like this was just after they'd saved the neighborhood and neither of them were sure how to process her confession once the excitement of the day had died down. But still, he found himself smiling. Even if it was unusual and even if it confused him in a way, he liked it. He knew Helga had a softer, gentler side and when it came out…well…

"For me?" He asked tentatively and the blonde girl nodded, still looking down and avoiding eye contact. He didn't need to ask why. Instead, he smiled and on a whim took a seat on the steps beside her. He could see her tense up but she didn't say anything for a moment. "I'm okay, Helga. I was more worried about _you _when you fell," That elicited a grin and he could see her roll her eyes.

Ever since last summer when they'd agreed that Helga's confession had been in the "heat of the moment", Arnold had spent quite a bit of time thinking about everything she'd said and done for him. Honestly, he didn't really believe she'd been caught up in the excitement – he knew that what she said was true even if he hadn't wanted to think about it too much. It was easier, and less awkward, to let her have her pride and endure her teasing and name-calling and pranks. But he knew. And the more time he had to think about the situation and everything he'd gone through with Helga, the more he'd realized that it all seemed to make sense. She'd done so much to help him over the years. Even if she'd spent her time making fun of him or being rude, when it really counted, she'd been there for him and that was important. So he didn't mind the taunting and the tricks as much as he had in the past because he knew the truth. And when he really soul-searched, there was a part of him that believed he'd always known.

"Arnold, I—" Helga said, pulling Arnold out of his thoughts. "I want you to—I need you to know… I don't hate you," She said sheepishly, only stealing a glance at him for a second before averting her eyes once again. Who was this mysterious girl who, at first sight, seemed so rough but as the layers peeled back you realized that what you thought you saw was only an illusion? Arnold smiled.

"I know you don't," He said gently and clasped his hands together, looking down at the floor in front of them.

"Really?" Helga asked. He really didn't think she hated him? But all the taunting, all the rude remarks and the pranks…

"Really," Arnold said and Helga breathed in deeply. It was a start. She felt her nerve subsiding and she didn't think she had it in her to tell him how she _really _felt but… it was a start, right?

Without warning, as Helga had been consciously trying to avoid eye contact as much as possible, Helga felt something warm on her cheek. It was over in a split second but Arnold had leaned over and planted a soft kiss on Helga's cheek faster than she had time to react. Helga's face flushed bright red and her mouth hung agape as she watched Arnold stand up.

"Come on," He smirked, his own cheeks somewhat pink. "Do you wanna dance with me?" He offered Helga his hand and with a demure nod she took it before following him back to the gym.

**[A/N: WOOOO, it's done! It feels so good. I hope you guys liked this ending - please let me know your thoughts and whether you saw it coming, if you liked it, yadda yadda...**

**The way I figured the timeline is like this: Judging by the weather, I'm pretty sure the movie takes place during the summer and the April Fool's day episode takes place after the movie so that would put approximately 8-10 months between Helga's confession and April so that seemed like a reasonable amount of time for Arnold to contemplate what had transpired up on that rooftop. The Journal episode, happening in October, would have happened (in my mind) between the movie and April Fool's/this story.**

**Hmm... what else do I wanna say... I hope everything has been cleared up now. The whole thing was a dream, basically XD And as far as the Iris song goes, have you ever noticed that sometimes when you're dreaming and there's a TV or music playing in the room that your sense of time kind of gets messed up in terms of figuring out when you heard whatever you heard? Yeah. **

**Also, I thought it was realistic that Helga would be able to imagine the gang older (post-puberty, cursing, etc.) because she's one of the more mature kids in their group. I'm sure she knows a lot more than she should for her age and has been exposed to more than her peers that as sapped some of the "innocence" and "naivete" of childhood. **

**But yeah, let me know what you think. I hope everyone liked it and had a good time reading. It was certainly fun to write this! Please review - I love to hear everyone's thoughts and opinions. It means so much and until next time, toodles! ^_^]**


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